Walking out of a room you had locked yourself inside of for days felt really good, Jongwoon had to admit. And even though the memories that had led up to his reclusive behavior were still fresh, he walked out feeling somewhat reborn.

Finally having been able to talk to Changmin apparently was something Jongwoon had really needed - not just for today, but probably for the past year; it had been heavy on his shoulders for so long. But as he had gotten used to the always present burden, he hadn't even noticed his desperate growing need to talk. It's not that he hadn't tried to go to Changmin before, but his mind had always stopped him from doing so in the end. To his mind, it would only damage more than it would fix.

He had actually also tried to talk to Heechul before, but muttering incoherent guilt-ridden sentences to your drunk friend didn't help that much either.

He silently wondered what everyone would think about him and Changmin having red eyes and looking extremely tired as he walked into the living room, but he soon noticed that no one really paid attention to either of them at all. Many stood a little further away, their backs facing both Jongwoon and Changmin, while they themselves eyed the back of a seemingly upset Jungsu who was throwing his hands in the air and screaming at Youngwoon, who was trying to block him from walking away.

Youngwoon instantly noticed the two of them and looked at them nearly pleadingly for a split second, before focusing his full attention on Jungsu once again.

"If I want to go, I go. Get out of my way, Youngwoon!" Jungsu screamed at him, trying hard to shove Youngwoon out of his way, but to no avail. Youngwoon, being one of the strongest members around, didn't even budge an inch. "I mean it!"

"You are acting irrational," Youngwoon reasoned with a calm voice, "Leaving won't solve anything."

"Maybe," Jungsu replied in an annoyed tone, but at least no longer screaming like had for the past ten minutes. It obviously made Youngwoon feel a little more secure about himself, and he pushed Jungsu slightly backward so they weren't standing uncomfortably chest-to-chest any longer. Jungsu allowed Youngwoon to shove him back a little, and nonetheless continued, "But he has Changmin now, seeing me when he gets out won't help him."

Wait, was this about him? Jongwoon looked at Youngwoon questioningly as soon as their eyes met for another brief second, but the latter plainly ignored him. It's not that he didn't see it, but he had other things to focus on right now.

"And I don't deserve to be here. I failed as a leader, which not only ruined a to me dear friendship but also endangered four of our members," Jungsu continued rambling. He didn't understand why Youngwoon couldn't just let him go when he had explained multiple times for the past few days that it was the only reasonable option he had left.

"Five," someone suddenly mumbled on Jungsu's right, startling him quite a bit. He turned to his right and looked questioningly to no other than Henry, who was shyly fidgeting on his spot as many eyes suddenly turned to him; he didn't really like the sudden attention. It wasn't until then that Jungsu noticed him and Youngwoon weren't the only ones there.

"What?" He asked Henry bewildered, still confused with what he was trying to say.

"Five members," Henry replied, a little louder this time. "Jongwoon, Heechul, Kyuhyun, you and me. Five."

Henry had no idea why he even said that. It probably made Jungsu feel even worse, but Henry couldn't see why he had mentioned four members only, leaving out at least one of them.

"Henry is right," Youngwoon quickly added, feeling that if he wanted to say anything to let Jungsu change his mind about stepping down as a leader and leaving Civiltry altogether, it would be as long as he was startled enough by Henry. "Being a leader or not, you still count as a member too. Start thinking about yourself as well, for a change. So what if Jongwoon is angry, you guys fight all the time. And you always make up too."

Jungsu shook his head in reply, his energy having been drained and he couldn't even find enough energy within him to scream at any of them any longer. He felt utterly broken.

"Not this time," he mumbled. "I told him I should have let him die on the gallows, which was already too harsh. Then I kicked him out of Civiltry on the day of Yunho's death, only to come to look for him and getting his parent's home burned down and endangering the fou- five of us," he emphasized on the word five, pleasing not only Henry, but many others that were following the conversation as well. "It's unacceptable as a leader, and as a friend," he finished nearly in a whisper.

Being a leader had always been hard on Jungsu. He always forgot about himself, worked harder than all of them, and always acted strongly like he thought he had to. But they all knew he had a softer side to him, that he had feelings too. And despite that he had opened up to Youngwoon many times before, he never tried to show that weaker side to anyone else before. Simply because it was not leader-like to do so.

Until today, that is. Today, all his walls came crumbling down. All because of Youngwoon, who had refused to let him go peacefully. It pissed Jungsu off, but deep inside it also made him happy.

Jongwoon looked at the scene unfolding itself in front of him and didn't know what to say. Yes, Jungsu had made mistakes. Yes, he was hurt over the words Jungsu had said. Yes, he somewhat did blame Jungsu for what had happened, because if he hadn't kicked Jongwoon out, ultimately Jongwoon parent's home would still be there. But was it worth it to see Jungsu this broken down? If Jungsu felt this guilty, wasn't that enough of a punishment for him?

"He cried for days over this," a voice suddenly mumbled, and Jongwoon looked aside. Heechul smiled softly, not liking how things were going with his two closest friends at all, but nevertheless happy that at least one of them seemed to do slightly better. "It's good to see you."

Jongwoon nodded absentmindedly in reply. For nearly 3 days he had locked himself up, feeling miserable and thinking solely about him and him alone. His anger towards Jungsu, Heechul, Kyuhyun, and Henry had been clearly present at the beginning, but had subdued over time. Not once, in his time there, had the thought about them and how they would feel about the whole situation - about what their actions had caused. And despite that he might have had a good reason to be mad in the first place, he felt guilty not considering them at all - Jungsu in particular, as he seemed badly affected.

He sighed sadly when suddenly Jungsu's voice managed to reach his ears again. "How can you say that?" He was heard asking. 

And as Jongwoon looked up to look at Jungsu's back to follow the conversation once again, Youngwoon grabbed a hold of Jungsu and swung him around to face Jongwoon; Jungsu and Youngwoon had been talking about the whole issue some more, and eventually Youngwoon had finally found the courage to tell Jungsu that Jongwoon wouldn't run away the moment he saw Jungsu. 'How can you say that', Jungsu asked? Well, "Because you've been standing in the same room for the past 10 minutes."

Jongwoon's eyes instantly met with Jungsu's, and both of them froze. Jongwoon noticed how red Jungsu's eyes were, and the twinkling light that had always been so obviously inside of them seemed to have faded. Jongwoon had never seen Jungsu broken like this before, and it truthfully worried him. 

Jungsu noticed Jongwoon's red eyes as well, but he had expected to see anger, and anger was nowhere to be found. Sadness was there, but that wasn't that weird considering everything that had happened the past few days.

He didn't know what to say though. There was nothing he could say to make things better for Jongwoon. He couldn't say sorry for telling him he shouldn't have saved him and just let him die, nor for kicking him out of Civiltry and getting his home burned down - a sorry wasn't near good enough nor enough to be forgiven. Actually, there was nothing he could say or do to be forgiven, as the things he had done were simply unforgivable, for a leader, and a friend. 

Jongwoon could obviously see Jungsu having a mental battle with himself as he stared at Jongwoon emotionless. It took a while, but suddenly Jungsu averted his gaze from Jongwoon and mumbled something incoherently before quickly moving past Youngwoon and walking towards the exit door.

And before Jongwoon knew it, he dashed forward, threw himself at Jungsu's retreating back and hugged him tightly. He missed out on the few gasps that were heard, and the uninhibited smirks of both Heechul and Youngwoon.

Jungsu was taken aback by the sudden arms wrapping around his waist, but stopped moving instantly. He looked down and recognized Jongwoon's hands, which were clearly smaller than those of the other members, before he started sobbing silently. He placed one of his hands on the wall in front of him to help him to keep standing up and placed his other hand on Jongwoon's hands as if he tried to accept the hug that way. 

He had rather turned around to hug Jongwoon back, because he was quite sure Jongwoon needed one probably even more than he himself did, but Jongwoon held him pretty tight on his spot, unable to move at all, let alone turn around.

And just as suddenly as it had started, just as abruptly Jongwoon let go of Jungsu and stood back up straight. Unscrambling his shirt by it with his hand, and clearing his throat at the same time. He was seemingly embarrassed by his sudden hug, which didn't really match his usual character at all, but looked reassuringly at Jungsu nevertheless, as Jungsu turned around to face him.

Jungsu dried his cheeks quickly and smiled at Jongwoon gratefully. "Thank you, " he whispered softly. Jongwoon smiled back at him and nodded in ackn