(Super short and super angsty and I'm gonna regret ever writing this SUPER MUCH :--)))

also WARNING (I guess): cheating)

Of course Zitao love Joonmyeon. Love is what started this ing mess. Love is what made Zitao really try not to fall into temptation this time, and still he finds himself with another man's tongue in his mouth and hands on his .

'I'm just a phone call away', Joonmyeon had smiled into Zitao's shoulder as he saw him off at the airport last minute before the flight back to China left. 'I'm always just a phone call away.'

Zitao is well aware. He knows Joonmyeon will always answer and talk for hours when Zitao misses him. They've spent countless times crying at both ends of the line because China and Korea aren't even that far away from each other. It's absolute torture when all you want is just a kiss or a touch or a ing hug from someone that's impossibly far away. 'I'll come over soon again' unfortunately doesn't count for when it's only two weeks per six months that the two spend together. Money's rarely the issue, but work manages to keep both of them so busy that even short periods of time leaves Zitao with at least a week of working late.

He moans into the kiss. His tongue moves slowly against the other's and tastes every single bit of cigarette smoke and vodka and desire reeking of him. Minseok just makes it so easy. He's smaller, older, korean, more experienced and eager. All the things that Joonmyeon are and even more because he's here right now and pressing his fingers into Zitao's thin hips. It's so easy. How much does it even count as cheating if Zitao is imagining Joonmyeon instead of Minseok every second of it?

'I'm never far away, I'm right here when you need me' means so little when your heart is bleeding and your is throbbing from Minseok's hot touch and smooth tongue. Zitao's back is pressed up against the wall of his dark bedroom because even if Minseok is smaller he's surprisingly strong, and Zitao melts in his small warm hands.

By the time they're both in their boxer briefs they're already on the bed, the same one Joonmyeon wakes up in every time he visits China and kisses Zitao good morning. His kisses are Minseok's kisses now as his wet lips work their way from Zitao's mouth to his neck and collarbones, leaving a trail of large bluish purple marks behind. It doesn't matter if he leaves traces. Joonmyeon won't be coming over until three months from now and that's plenty of time for them to disappear. Make new ones. Disappear again.

He whimpers as Minseok's wicked tongue flicks over his dark as his underwear are pulled down and away, a drop of precum already glistering at the tip of his . It's not completely unlike how Joonmyeon does it and that helps. It's not until the wet tip of Minseok's sloppily lubed up pressed against his unprepared rim he breaks down a little.

"Joonmyeo- ah!", he whines, his hands curling into fists in the sheet and his head desperately thrashing from side to side, lips parted in heavy breathing. Minseok's hands spread his thighs wider, teasingly presses a little harder but not nearly enough.

"Who's Joonmyeon?", he asks calmly, completely ignoring how Zitao's falling apart right in front of him on his back on the bed. "Your boyfriend?"

"Y-yeah."

Of course Minseok smirks vaguely before gripping Zitao's hips even harder than before and s in, cruelly leaving no time for Zitao to adjust or get ready.

The younger sobs, tears of stinging numb pain, relief of finally getting satisfaction and the unbearable, crushing longing that eats him up from the inside. He thought it would get better after years passed, but he's at his limit now and desperate. 

He keeps imagining his sweet boyfriend, sees Joonmyeon's face glimmering of a thin layer sweat every time Minseok presses hard against his prostate and it helps. Joonmyeon's name rolls off his lips much like the tears off his cheeks. Thinking about Joonmyeon inside him but at the same time Joonmyeon who's a million miles away right now makes a lump form in his throat, but somehow a heartbreaking shout of 'J-Joonmyeon!' makes it through his lips, followed by the sound of heavy panting as he comes, white splattering across his stomach. 

He doesn't look up at Minseok as the older continues, just from over stimulation until the elder finally pulls out and comes with a groan, mixing with Zitao's. At least he had the decency of not coming inside.

He leaves with a smirk and a wink and Zitao still a little out of breath and on his bed. Shortly after the door clicks shut Zitao's cellphone rings and Joonmyeon's picture fills up the screen. With tears drying on his face Zitao answers the call.

"Hi! I know it's late in China but I missed you so badly I just couldn't help myself! I miss you like crazy!"

"I miss you too, Joonmyeon hyung."

***

N OT based on true events. I'm gonna regret writing this oh my god BUT I HAD TO I've been a mess and it's killing me oh gosh oh man oh boy. I miss u hella lot mansikka