Jimin tries to stay awake as he boards the train on the way to his hometown. Yongguk and Himchan had already done enough to make Jimin as presentable as can be when he faces his parents, and the only thing Jimin can do for them is to stay put and say his thanks. Himchan was in tears when he sent Jimin off, just like a mother to her firstborn on his first day at school, Jimin thought. Yongguk waved goodbye as he led his boyfriend out of the train station. Jimin gave a small wave and a smile, trying to calm his nerves as the time he arrives at home gets nearer and nearer.

As the train passes through different places and landmarks, so does Jimin’s memories. He remembers the first time he went to Seoul, how he almost got mugged after stepping off the train station. He remembers auditioning for those big entertainment companies who told him he was too short, too chubby, and wasn’t handsome enough. He thought entertainment companies wanted those who have talent and passion in what they do. Then he stumbled upon BigHit Entertainment, wherein he was finally applauded for his talents.

Jimin remembered meeting Yongguk and Himchan on the way home from his part time job as a cashier for a bookstore. The two weren’t a couple back then, and Himchan was drunk. Yongguk have forgotten to call their other friends and was in dire need of help pulling Himchan onto his feet. Jimin, as the nice country boy he was, immediately ran towards the struggling Yongguk. Jimin remembers vaguely from how Yongguk asked him to stay for the night since his flat was a bit far away and it was really late to hanging out by the roommates’ fairly large flat, which was too large for just two people, to leaving his own studio apartment in favor for the said fairly large flat.

Yongguk and Himchan were one of the main reasons Jimin continued to pursue this industry, apart from Yoongi. The couple were the ones who gave Jimin food and shelter when the younger was barely holding up from his living conditions. Yongguk was the one who introduced Jimin to Hyosang, who in turn, aided Jimin’s audition into BigHit. Himchan was there to make sure Jimin didn’t work himself too hard. And even when he does, Himchan perfectly plays the nagging mother who always cares too much for her son.

Jimin would never know where he have gone if Himchan and Yongguk weren’t there by his side.

Though the couple may not have told him this, Jimin was the reason they were even together in the first place. After the drunk Himchan incident, they had a huge blowup that even Youngjae, Jongup, and the others lost their faith in debuting as a group. Himchan had moved out, and Yongguk was left to fend for himself. Though, Jimin knew how to cook, his dishes weren’t as tasty or homey as what Himchan cooks. And Jimin could tell that even after only one day of separation, Yongguk was miserable as hell. Jimin, as an outsider, hadn’t known of the dynamics of the group and of course, did his best to reunite his newfound friends. He found out after a week that Himchan was staying with the others and begged him to go see Yongguk. To cut things short, the two made up and tried their hands at dating. Now the couple was two years into their relationship.

Jimin remembers Yoongi. Was he still in Seoul? Or did he go back home? Jimin couldn’t wait to find out once he goes home. His brother would have told Yoongi by now that Jimin was coming back, even for a short while.

Wait, Yoongi did leave Jimin high and dry, right? And Yoongi would definitely finish what he started once he sees Jimin back, right? Right? Or was Jimin imagining things again? Psh. That was at least four years ago. Yoongi wouldn’t remember Jimin with the time that passed. Seriously, why does Jimin always hope that Yoongi likes him back, or even remembers him? Jimin should stop this wishful thinking.

Jimin was too deep in thought to notice that the train had already stopped. He could already see his mom and dad waving from the platform. His mother was in tears and his father was trying to calm his mother down. Déjà vu, he thinks. He can’t help but laugh at the scene. Though to a normal person, this would seem rather weird since Jimin was laughing and crying at the same time.

Jimin carried his luggage and hopped off from the train. He ran towards his parents and hugged them tightly.

“Jimin-ah! You’ve grown so much!” His father pat him on the back. It seems that his mother hadn’t calm down yet, and couldn’t form coherent words.

“I missed you and I love you too, mom.” Jimin chuckled.

His mom swatted his arms and hugged Jimin even tighter. Jimin noticed that his brother wasn’t around. He was about to speak up when—

“Yah, pipsqueak, I’m here. Don’t get all too mushy now. Come on, let’s go home.” His brother gave him a small hug and ruffled his head. Jimin smiled.

On the way home, Jimin caught up with his family. The car they were in was a bit fancier than the one Jimin remembered. Jimin remembers his dad being promoted to a higher paying job, but he never thought that that job allowed him to purchase this kind of car.

“Hey, dad. This car’s kinda fancy, how’d you manage to buy it?” Jimin asked.

“This is mine, actually. I got promoted as executive manager.” Junhwan, Jimin’s older brother, replied. Jimin’s face brightened.

“Oh, here in Busan?”

“No. In Seoul.”

“Then, why are you here? Have you seen Yoongi-hyung? Do you have his number?” Jimin asked, clearly elated by the fact.

Junhwan could’ve smacked Jimin’s head, but since he was a loving brother, he just swerved the car for a bit which made Jimin’s face smack the window.

“Ouch, hyung that hurt.” Jimin rubbed the slowly reddening part of his cheek. His brother would get it from him sooner or later. Their parents were at the back doing lovey-dovey things and occasionally joining in at the conversations.

“No. I haven’t seen Yoongi in a while. Last time I heard from him was that he’s in Seoul, rapping underground. I also don’t have his number. I called him a lot of times, but another person answered the phone and told me that there was no Yoongi there, so I assumed his phone got stolen or he gave it to another person. But I’m 100% sure that he’s still in Seoul since his parents have been in contact with mom and dad since then.”

Jimin deflated. So, at least, Yoongi was still Seoul and not in the middle of nowhere. At least he was somewhere. Somewhere Jimin knows.

“Come on, shortie, don’t be sad. We still have a lot to do. I know you’ll always find him. But for now, let’s just relax for a while and do some brotherly stuff before we go back to Seoul.”

Jimin wishes it was that easy to take his mind off of Yoongi.

*

After settling into their old house, Jimin’s parents let the two siblings enjoy their time together since Junhwan would be leaving the next day to settle everything with his company’s branch in Busan. Junhwan took Jimin back to the playground where he, Jimin, and Yoongi used to spend their childhood days.

“It’s quite nostalgic, right Jiminnie?” Junhwan reminisced as he and Jimin sat on the swings.

“Why did you bring me here so suddenly, hyung?” Jimin asked.

“I’ve never told you how thankful I am because you’re my brother, right?” Junhwan chuckled while looking at the sky.

“Ah, hyung. Don’t be like that. I might cry.” Jimin chuckled and nudged his brother’s shoulder.

Junhwan got up and hugged Jimin.

“Don’t forget to always keep your head up high, okay? Even if there are others wh