***

Do you know how frustrating it is to try to forget something that happened to you that left a big mark in your life? Well, Taeyeon knows.

As much as she wants to avoid the memories, everything around her triggers them to play in her head and toy with her emotions. She would smile at it at some point, but she would always shake it away and pretend like it's nothing.

It would bother her when she's about to sleep and early in the morning just when she opens her eyes.

She doesn't want to remember but she doesn't want to forget it either. It's as if she's playing tug-of-war and Taeyeon isn't really sure who's winning.

Taeyeon pulls out a spare iPhone from her nightstand. Aside from her iPad, this spare phone has all her music files, a bunch of old photos, and even has her old SIM card inserted, though no one calls or texts her in that number she still keeps it activated. She just uses this during bedtime because she doesn't want to drain her main phone that she uses for work.

As soon as she gets the phone, she plunges on to her bed and finds her comfortable position to sleep.

"Here we go," she grunts as she tucks herself in the sheets. She unlocks her phone and immediately connects it to her Bluetooth speaker. She goes through her music files and tries to pick a song to put her to slumber.

She doesn't know what to pick so she puts the playlist to shuffle. It would take ten-seconds for the playlist to shuffle all songs, so Taeyeon just lets the phone down beside her pillow and just waits for the first song to play.

At this point, the ceiling is her company. Her mind is blank and down as she starts so zone-out. At this point, she's an emotionless creature. At this point, she is null. Not just until a song plays.

Song played: Time walking through memories / Nell

아직도 --- 너의 소리를 듣고
I still hear your voice

The song catches her off-guard; it doesn't have an intro. The moment the song started, her eyes widened a bit bigger as her heart roared loudest as if it's going to burst out off her body. A voice registers in her mind clear as crystal. It was sweet and quite high-pitched as it called her by her favorite nickname. "Taengoo~yah!"

A sudden wave of emotion crashes her system. It was just a mere second from zero to a hundred. Emotionless transitioning to being emotional, real quick.

As soon as the lyrics flattens out to her, her heart sinks a bit. The lyrics are too real for her. It's as if the song is talking on her behalf.

아직도 너의 손길을 느껴
I still feel your touch

She gently closes her eyes as the song feeds her mind. The lines brings her pain through beautiful memories. In that darkness she pictures light in form a girl she used to love -- or she still loves. In that, she feels her touch as if the girl is with her. Or is she already dreaming?

오늘도 난 너의 흔적 아네 살았죠
Even today, I live in the traces of you

She smiles. Guilty that the song is right about what she really feels. The fact that she's happy and miserable at the same time when their memories come across her randomly in a day. The fact that she still practice what they usually do together without realizing