At a distance, you could hear the thunders boomed among the ashen clouds and sunlight was fast fading away into just a mere minute patches of light. You d in your bag to check whether you brought along an umbrella with you. You were relieved to feel the umbrella lying in your bag.

“Miss, are you in a… rush to go to the place?” the taxi driver asked suddenly, breaking the period of silence throughout the journey since just now.

“Why.. do you ask?”

“Well, the weather seems to be in a downcast today and I think we might get stalled in the downpour if we continue the journey so I was suggesting..”

“Just drive.. I really need to be there,” you curtly replied cutting his words off. You could feel the driver’s gaze towards you via the rear view mirror, probably having a negative perception towards your response but you were not bothered. You laid your neck on the headrest of the seat and closed your eyes to rest your brain from the rush of memories of you and Jaehwan but somehow, your brain was not being cooperative. Instead, you felt like it open a big gate to let a stream of colourful images from the past spread itself like wildfire in your head, swaying the very branches of emotions you tried to hold back all this time.

You sat near the edge of the bed while folding some clothes into a backpack, specifically your post-delivery backpack. You actually had prepared all the necessary items into the backpack and were just adding more items in case of any unforeseen circumstances. The doctor mentioned that the next morning would be the due date of your pregnancy but your inner guts kept telling you that a delivery was possible anytime soon. Moreover, little Raehan was not keeping calm anymore in your belly with the constant kicks he did from time to time.

You went to the kitchen to check on the boiling chicken broth that was stewing on the stove. You specially cooked that dish not only because it was Jaehwan’s favourite dish but also because you wanted to congratulate him after the championship race that night despite what the results might be. As you were stirring the broth, your handphone in the living room rang.

Jaehwan’s composed voice came into the phone amidst the noisy background at the race venue. “Darling, are you resting right now? You better do because if not, I will be restless when I’m in the race later..”
 

“I am cooking dinner for you to eat when you come back later.. so get back home fast after the race ok? I will be waiting with Raehan,” you answered lovingly.

“I will come back with victory for us.. Can you put the phone to Raehan?” Jaehwan requested.

You place the receiver near your belly and turned the loudspeaker on. “Raehan-ah, Daddy here is going to do his best to give you a good life with Mummy. So be a good boy and wait for Daddy to come home ok? And don’t be naughty and hurt Mummy alright? I love you!”

You smiled at the scene that sort of made a bunch of flowers bloomed in your chest. “Get back home soon, I miss you,” you said over the phone.

“I miss you too.. Wait for me alright? Love you,” Jaehwan replied before hanging up.

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“What is going on??! Someone ask Jaehwan hyung to stop the car!!” Wonsik shouted across the room towards the team as he monitored Jaehwan racing on screen. The team members scrambled across the room, trying to grasp the situation while grabbing any possible equipment to handle the situation before it gets out of control.

Jaehwan knew he was losing control of the car but he was stubborn. He wanted to finish the race. He wanted to win. He wanted to cross the finish line. And he believed that anything was possible. “Hyung!! Listen to me! Stop the car and get out now! It’s dangerous!” Wonsik’s voice boomed in his headphones. Another car zoomed past him, cutting him from being first place.

“No, I’m not giving up! I still can drive, just a bit more and I will reach the finish line!” Jaehwan argued.

“No hyung!! Please listen to me, the car is malfunctioning and you have to stop it! Forget about winning, it’s your safety that’s more important!”  

Jaehwan pushed the accelerator harder to steer the car forward, catching up with the cars ahead of him.

“Hyung!! If you don’t want to listen to me, at least think about ______ noona and Raehan! They are waiting for you! You love them right?!” Wonsik’s voice hollered through his ears. Jaehwan’s right leg then loosened from the pedal as he thought of you and his baby in your womb. His mind flowed way back to the past where he met you, proposed and then married you and then living everyday life with happiness and joy only the two of you could share. He thought of Raehan whom he has yet to see and who he wanted to see and wanted to show off to the world as the little kid that was proudly his. His eyes unknowingly teared and as he regained his senses, he murmured softly onto the receiver.

“Wonsik, I- I will stop the car. I cannot leave ____ and Raehan. They need me and I love them too much,” Jaehwan stammered as he tried to take control of the car.

His hands were swiftly switching gears and buttons to avoid further danger. However in one split second, Jaehwan felt a loud bang from his right side as small shards of metal pieces scraped across his helmet and he could only feel that he was flying up very high in mid-air, not knowing whether he might land or he might remain afloat in mid-air. Was he going to Heaven? Or will he land back to Earth to where he belonged? Soon, he landed flat on the ground but he was still in his car, just unable to move. His body felt stiff. He tried to move his arms to open the car door but his hands were clamped down by the interior of the car. He could only move his head to see to his left and saw a few people running towards him. One of them was Wonsik. But, thick smoke billowed from the car and Jaehwan started to cough heavily. He felt helpless. He wanted to get out, he wanted to go back to you and Raehan. Unconsciously, a stream of tear fell down his cheeks as he realised the situation he was in. Then, he saw Wonsik’s face on the window slamming repeatedly on the window while trying his best to rescue him. Jaehwan could only manage to smile weakly as he stood motionless and let the time pass as he thought of you and Raehan.

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Beads of perspiration covered your forehead. Your fists clenched tight on the bedsheets and you gritted your teeth as you took a deep breath and gave the strongest last push as directed by the doctor in front of you. Your head fell back onto the pillow as you struggled to catch your breaths and closed your eyes for a moment. A while later, soft cries echoed through the room. Soft cries that seemed to speak about being in a foreign new place. The cries continued for a period before two hands handed a small creature to you. Pushing aside all lethargy, you opened your eyes to get a glimpse of the little life you were waiting for the past 9 months. You held out your hands to receive him and as you did, you his tiny reddish face lightly, feeling the warmth of his soft skin against your fingers. He felt unbelievably small and alive in your arms and you cannot help but to cry joyful tears at this breathing creature you proudly knew as your son.