It is crazy how love can lead us to most of our actions. Love makes us a fool of our own existence. Love lets us feel the weird sensations that we otherwise couldn't. Love may just be the best thing that could happen to anybody. We create the paradise of our own love stories. Love is like a beautiful castle filled with the sweetest memories. It is the kingdom of solace where we feel belonged. Love is a battlefield. We create our own army to fight our enemies. Our army consists of two people. Ourselves and our partners. Our enemies? Everyone who are against us.

That's what they said.

My love story was not a battlefield at all. It was a disastrous warzone with only one party fighting against numerous enemies.

Im Jaebum was not an idol nor JB back then. He was just the neighbourhood Jaebum. Despite being an ordinary being, Jaebum was a JYP trainee. Everyone in our province knew him by that. Everyone knew he was bestowed with good-looks and a melodious voice. Such luck.

I began falling for Jaebum when I was 16, exactly three years ago. He was a sunbae in the neighbouring school. Jaebum knew nothing about me except for my name. He did not know that I attended high school near to his high school. Call me a stalker but I knew everything about him. Well, except for his private life, of course. The only thing I knew was that he was single. Everyone knew that. He was the topic of discussion of many girls in his school. Apparently, he had fans before he debuted. Compared to those girls, I was a total nobody.

As the saying goes, "The happiest people are the loneliest". I was known to be the most cheerful girl in school despite not having a best friend. I hang out with my classmates during my breaks but I was not close to anyone in particular. I cracked the lamest jokes and laugh it over with them. I was an average student in high school. You would often see my name between the 20th and 30th student in the academic ranking of the whole cohort. The highest I could go was 20th. I still think it was good enough though.

January 6th 2010 was the date to remember. It was Jaebum's 17th birthday and the day I chose to confess my crush. It was not love back then. The feeling was still blooming but not yet love. I waited in front of his school with his present in my hand. It was freezing cold as it was still winter in Seoul. I had forgotten to bring my gloves on that day and was secretly hoping that my knee-length socks could keep me warm for a few minutes.

Minutes turned to hours and it was already 8pm. The winter breeze smacked my face for the thousandth time yet I stood strong in front of the gates of the school. I might have looked like a beggar in love to some passerby. The love was still blooming but it had led me to do this. Funny.

It was not until a quarter after the 20th hour that Jaebum appeared with his group of friends. Jaebum stepped out of the school without even realising I was there. His hands were full with presents. Soft toys, chocolate, cookies, you name it. Everything was in his hands. Mine would be the most ridiculous gift ever.

I followed his steps until his group of friends left him after boarding the bus. Wow, I was so amazed at my stalking skills back then. Like a fool.

"Jaebum-ssi!" I called; my voice was so hoarse that I surprised myself. "Saengil Chukkahae!"

Jaebum stopped in his tracks and turned to my direction. I swear I was going to faint any second when we made eye-contact. He gave me a smirk but his eyes widened shortly after. Was he shocked that I knew his birthday? Or did he like me even before I even confessed? I thought to myself. Jaebum came closer to me quickly, put down his presents then took off his winter scarf.

"Hyerin-ssi, are you okay?" He then wrapped his scarf around my neck.

Wait, what?

"You look so..." He trailed off. "Dead."

"Huh?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Your face is all white and your lips are turning blue."

I responded with a simple 'oh' before handing him his present. I ran towards the mountain of presents he left on the ground and picked some of them up based on my ability. Standing at only 145cm tall has its disadvantages too. I could only pick up a few, leaving some for him to carry home himself. I turned and gave him an awkward smile. I tilted my head towards the direction he once was walking.

It was an eerily silent atmosphere. The situation was so cold that it gave me the chills even when I was warmed up by the scarf he gave me a while ago. I took a deep breath to start a conversation but was interrupted by Jaebum's soft cough.

"Thank you for the present, Hyerin-ssi. I didn't expect you to know my birthday," Jaebum smirked.

I chuckled. My heart was beating so loudly that I was surprised that he did not hear it. Perhaps he heard it but chose to keep it to himself. My mind was in a total mess; it was filled with the aftermath of the whole confession. I had a solid 0% acceptance rate. I chose to not expect too much from him. He did not know me that well to begin with.

"I'm turning this way," Jaebum's voice interrupted my train of thoughts. I transferred the presents from my arms to his. He bid me farewell before making his route home. I guess this is it.

"Jaebum-ssi," I called as I walked towards him. "I...I like you."

Jaebum turned and smiled. He maintained the distance between us.

"Thank you, but I have someone in mind right now."

The first part of his sentence broke my heart. The second brought tears to my eyes. His first step away from me forced a smile on my face.

"I'll wait," I shouted, enough for his to hear. "I'll fight for your love."

Jaebum did not stop his tracks. He continued walking. I lifted my head to prevent my sobs from being heard. His treating figure killed me inside. Smile, Hyerin-ah.

I thought I was strong enough to face the consequences of a confession. How foolish.