☼ Yoseob ☾
☼ Night Sun ☾
☼ Yoseob's POV ☾
I wear my black jacket as my eyes gaze at the night sky, looking through the car window. A smile forms on my lips since I'm wondering about what we can do after we arrive at the house.
These days have been really great for me. For BEAST. We can spend our days together at seaside with a supporting fan like Dalbit and the care from her parents. I hope we can close this year together as well on Night Year's Eve.
Today is Christmas' Eve. It's already December 24th and we will celebrate the Christmas tomorrow. We're just done with our special performance for Christmas' Eve and we're going to do the special performance for tomorrow as well.
I'm really tired that I want to sleep. But when Dalbit's face crosses my mind, I force myself to stop yawning and stay awake. I play with my phone to keep me stay still.
"We should buy a Christmas present, you know," Gikwang speaks out, breaking the silence. He puts down his phone and looks at each of us. "For Dalbit and her parents."
"Ah, you're right," Hyunseung murmurs without looking at Gikwang. He looks out through the window, sighing heavily as if something is bothering him. "We can find something tomorrow."
I frown, studying his face silently. He has been like this for almost a week. I think he is really tired that he always puts a sad expression on his face. But the problem is I notice that this happens to Junhyung as well.
At first I assumed that Doojoon was the only one who acted different towards Dalbit compared to us. But lately I realized that both Hyunseung and Junhyung did the same. They treat Dalbit with more caring attitude.
I don't know if it is because they are the three oldest members but I don't find it is comfortable when there are people who hide something from you. I never bothered to ask because I'm sure they wull say it if it's necessary.
"But we can't grant her wish," Dongwoon sighs with disappointment, rubbing his back of neck. "I really wish she will watch our special performance tomorrow. Why can't she go with us?"
"Because she told us that she can't," Doojoon answers calmly. He has a warm yet sad smile. "Let's not force her to do what she can't do, will us? We're going to celebrate the Christmas with her tomorrow night, aren't we?"
I smile just by the scene where I can spend the Christmas with Dalbit. We are going to walk around together again, taking pictures together under the Christmas tree we found in the town square three nights ago.
I always feel happy when I can see Dalbit's smile. Despite the fact that Gikwang is her favorite member, I never failed to amuse her with my vocal; she once said that she loved my beautiful voice and she hoped that I would be the best singer in the world.
I feel different when I'm with her. I know she is a fan and a fan will support us, just like what she always does. But her bright smile and sweet caring attitude captivate my heart.
Ah, I sound weird, don't I? Charmed by someone who I just met for less than three weeks is impossible, isn't it? But Dalbit never fails to make me feel like I'm the best in the world.
The feeling that I never felt before. From someone. From a fan. From a friend. From a girl.
Little did the other members know that I spent the night with Dalbit when everyone was sleeping. Whether I talked with her or watched her painting in her room. The simple moments that made my heart to flatter.
One thing that I never figured out about Dalbit is about her habit to stay late up at night and sleep at day. I asked her once but she just gave me a smile, telling me that it's a secret but she probably would tell me one day.
Sometimes I would find her breathing heavily with paler face. It made me to feel afraid that something happened to her but the next minute she would give me a wide smile, telling me that she's alright.
I restrain myself from falling in love with someone, knowing that I need to concentrate with my career now. Especially from falling in love with a fan.
But Dalbit is not only a fan for me. She is a friend. A really good friend. Her words always encourage me and the others, with her bright smile that makes me feel that she is a sun, shining brightly for us.
"Is it true that the lyrics of Thanks To are written by you and Junhyung Oppa?" Dalbit's question snaps me back to reality. She is sitting on her bed with a pen and a paper in her hands, staring at me with cute expression.
I am in her room even though it's midnight already. As strange as it seems, I think I have switched day and night since I always spend my times with her after midnight.
We ate dinner together with her parents and we sang songs for them. I sang Thanks To with Junhyung, which was written by me and Junhyung around last year. I love the song since it is a special song for our fans.
"Yes. Why?" I tilt my head, waiting for her respond. I am sitting next to her and it makes my heart to skip a beat. "It's good, right?"
"Yes, it is," Dalbit chuckles, writing something on the paper with the pen. Her soft gaze and smile make my stomach to feel dancing butterflies. "I wonder if I can write something for you. Me and my imagination."
"I'll sing it for sure if you write it," I grin, ruffling her long hair, making her to giggle happily. "Tell me when you're done with it."
"Yes, Oppa," she smiles and tucks her long hair behind her ear. I'm sure my heart can explode if it can now; she looks extremely beautiful even though she is really pale.
I caress her cheek gently, making her to turn in surprise. I lean closer to her and kiss her forehead, ignoring my uncontrollable heartbeat.
"You're beautiful," I mutter with a smile, admiring her mysterious beauty. My fingers can feel her dry skin but I shove the negative thoughts away when the warmth of her cheeks arise.
Dalbit is blushing.
"O-Oppa...," she shifts backwards, putting the pen and paper on the bed quickly. She stands up and pulls a distance with me. "What are you saying? Don't play a joke like that."
"I'm not teasing you," I clear my throat awkwardly. I know I can't confess to her. It's too soon but I need her to know that she is special for me. "Can I treat you more than a fan, Dalbit?"
Every fan will be happy to be treated special by their idol. But, for my surprise, Dalbit shakes her head firmly. She opens the door for me, "I think I need to take a rest now."
"Dalbit, I-" I try to continue our conversation but her expression makes me to freeze. She doesn't smile, she doesn't cry, but I can see sadness on her face.
"Please, Yoseob Oppa," she whispers softly. Her grip on the handle is tightening and I know I really need to leave her alone.
"Don't...," Dalbit murmurs when I step out from her room with guilty feeling. "Don't care for me more than now, Oppa."
"Why?" I ask without hesitation. There is something she doesn't tell me. Blame me for being cocky but I know she feels something more than admiring an idol for me. "Why can't I lov-"
"Because I can't return your feeling."
With those words, Dalbit bows slightly to me, bidding me good night. She closes the door, leaving me in the middle of night.
Why? Why can't she return my feeling?
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