When Ellie awoke the next morning, she her side, fully expecting to find Daehyun lying next to her.

But he wasn't there.

Her brow furrowed, and she sat up, rubbing her eyes and glanced over at the clock.

Nearly 10am. 

Well no wonder, Dae had always been an early riser.

She found her clothes and dressed, heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth and give her hair a quick combing.

As she pulled the brush through her hair, gently working out the tangles, she found herself blushing as she thought back to last night.

The way Daehyun's eyes stared into hers as he hovered over her..his hands moving across her skin...his voice, gentle and soft...the way he looked with his eyes closed, lips parted as he moaned her name, his bare body against hers.

She splashed cool water on her face, then pat it dry before heading out to the kitchen.

She was partly worried how things would be this morning.

Would he treat her like normal?

Would things be weird?

Would he regret last night, pretend like it never happened?

Would he go back to treating her just as a friend?

She wasn't sure what to expect. 

But she hoped that in the end, if nothing else, they could at least go back to being best friends.

Though if she was honest, she'd say she really wanted them to be so much more.

And she thought he did too.

"Dae?" she called out.

She thought she might find him in the kitchen, raiding the refrigerator, but he wasn't there.

Maybe he'd gone out to the porch to think?

She peeked her head out the back door and looked around, calling out his name again.

But he wasn't there.

A quick walkthrough of the house revealed he wasn't anywhere.

He must've gone home. 

She picked up her cell, and gave him a quick call.

But he didn't pick up his phone. 

Daehyunnie, are you at home? She text him.

After a couple minutes with no response, she decided to head over to his house. She should check on his mom anyhow.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't becoming concerned.

Wouldn't he have said something...or at least left a note...a text..something before leaving her house?

Had he woken and regretted it all...slipping out so he didn't have to face her.

Her heart ached at the thought, so she quickly pushed it from her mind.

Surely there was a good reason.

"Omma?" she called out entering Daehyun's house.

There were a couple relatives milling about, still working out funeral preperations.

"Ellie." she called out coming to her.

Ellie hugged her, noting her red, swollen eyes. "How are you this morning omma?" she asked sympathetically.

She wiped her nose with the kleenex clutched tightly in her hand.

"It still doesn't seem real..." she started, her voice catching in .

Ellie nodded. "I know the feeling. I'm so sorry."

She patted Ellie's shoulder.

"Have you seen Daehyun this morning?" Ellie asked.

"Oh, didn't he tell you? He had to head back this morning, but he'll be back in a couple days for the funeral."

"He...He left?" she asked.

"Mmm." she nodded. "He had some things to finish up. You know how it is, duty calls."

"Oh." Ellie said as her heart fell.

"Everything ok?" his mom asked noting the look on her face.

"No, no, everything is fine, I was just worried about him." she said, forcing a smile.

She smiled at Ellie. "Thank you for being such a good friend to him Ellie. "

She smiled and bowed. "Let me know if you need anything."

Dae's mother smiled a weak smile and nodded. "I will, Thank you."

Ellie left the house, her eyes focused on the ground.

He left?

Was it possible that he didn't remember what happened last night?

No, there was no way, and even if he had, it would only take a split second to figure out once he woke up to find them both in bed together.

And he hadn't been drinking, so there was no reason for him to forget...

She sighed.

Why hadn't he said anything.

Maybe he was regretting, just like she was afraid he would.

She shook her head, trying to rid the negative thoughts.

She couldnt' bear to think that was the case.

No, he just had to hurry back and didn't want to wake her.

But, why hadn't he answered when she'd called, or responded to her text?

His mom did say he had things to finish up.

He was probably just busy.

"Ugh." she groaned. She couldn't seem to stop the stream of thoughts bouncing around in her head.

"There has to be a reasonable explanation." she said to herself aloud. "He's just busy right now, he'll call me later...everything will be fine."

Ellie and her Mother helped to set things up for the funeral for Dae's father that would be occuring later that day.

It had been 5 days since Dae left.

He never returned her call, nor responded to any of her texts.

She hadn't been able to get rid of the horrible knot that had formed in her stomach in the days that followed.

The thing that scared her the most, was the thought that maybe she'd lost him as a friend. 

That by sleeping together, things would never be the same again.

And not only did he not want her romantically, he no longer wanted to be her friend.

She bit her lip as the anxiety nagged at her.

Not now, Dae's mom needed her help and she couldn't get caught up in these feelings right now.

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, trying to clear her head.

"Thank you Ellie," Dae's mom said to her before turning to Ellie's mother, "Thank you SoEun. You've both made this a little easier for me." she said giving a small smile.

Your mom took her hand, patting it lightly. "I'm glad i could help. You and your husband were there for me when i lost Jaeho."

Ellie turned away to let the two of them talk.

Daehyun should be here soon. The memorial was about to start, and he was supposed to be here at his Mom's side as the visitors came to pay their respects to the family. It was going to be a long morning. And when that was over, it would be time to head to the cemetery for the burial.

Ellie was still confused, and hurt. But she knew Daehyun had enough on his plate right now without her adding to it.

Today, she would be here to support him..should he want it.

She had to put away her feelings for him.

Just for now.

Ellie and her mom went outside to greet the visitors, shaking their hands one by one, and directing them inside.

One by one, visitors filed into the mortuary, offering their condolences to the family and paying their respects to Dae's father.

Just as Ellie was beginning to wonder where Daehyun was, she spotted him.

He walked up, giving Ellie a quick glance before turning to her mother.

"Daehyun, how are you?" her mother asked.

He gave her a hug.

"I'm not too sure." he said honestly.

"You've lost weight." she said.

"Think so?"

She nodded.

He gave a quick half hearted smile.

"Your Mom is inside." 

He nodded to her and turned.

"Ellie." he said nodding in her direction.

"Dae." she responded in kind.

Without another word, he went inside and joined his mother.

Ellie hardly saw him the rest of the morning except when she stopped inside to bring him and his mother some water.

He'd been crying. 

His eyes were swollen.

He sat at his mother's side, arm around her shoulder as she sobbed, his eyes downcast, staring blankly at the floor.

It broke her heart to see them like this.

Because she knew exactly how much it hurt.

She longed to comfort Dae, but, seeing his reaction toward her today, she didn't think he wanted it.

She tried not to overthink it. 

After all, today he was saying good-bye to his father.

At the funeral, Ellie stood with her mother behind Dae's family as the final words were said and the casket was lowered into the ground.

Ellie stood with head bent, eyes downcast, hands folded in front of her, and cried silently.

For Dae, for his Mother, and for his Father.

She'd spent so much time at his house as a child.

He was like a second father.

It hadn't sunk in until now, just how much she was going to miss him.

As the cemetery staff began to fill in the grave, she watched as Dae whispered to his Mother and kissed her cheek, wiping the tears from her face.

As family and friends began to file past, giving their condolences to his mother, Dae turned and began to search the crowd with his eyes for a moment before finally landing on Ellie.

He made his way toward her slowly, stopping as the occasional mourner reached for his hand or pat his back, giving their apologies.

Finally he came to stand next to Ellie, turning to watch the crowd move about in front of them.

His eyes were still swollen, he was sniffing, and his cheeks were wet.

He said nothing, which only made her more anxious.

After a moment, Dae began to fidget, one of his cuff links had come loose.

Ellie took hold of his hand bringing it toward her so she could fix it.

He studied her face as she worked on his sleeve.

"El..." he said finally.

She swallowed a lump, afraid of what he might say.

"I'm sorry."

I'm sorry?

She wanted to laugh.

What was that supposed to mean?

What was he sorry for?

Sorry for sleeping with her?

Sorry for not calling?

Sorry for disappearing without a word?

But she bit her tongue. 

Now was not the time.

Right now she just needed to be here for him.

She finished fixing his cuff link, purposely taking longer than was necessary, but finally released his hand.

He remained in front of her, watching her face.

"I'm sorry Ellie. I shouldn't have walked out without saying anything but...right now i'm just very, very confused."

She nodded slowly, thinking about what he'd said.

She almost preferred he hadn't said anything at all.

She was confused enough, and had hoped that he at least had some idea of how he felt.

"Confused?" she asked.

"I just....I have a lot going on right now, and my feelings are a mess."

She had to bite her lip to keep from crying, and nodded.

"I didn't know what to say to you, so i ignored your phone calls. I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you....but i'm not sure what to tell you either. And I didn't want to tell you something based on what i'm feeling now, because, I'm upset, i'm sad, i miss my Dad, and I have these feelings for you but, i don't know how or if what's going on in my life is affecting these feelings and so...I know it's confusing but, I just need to work through this right now and sort my feelings out. I don't want to react on something, and have it end with you getting hurt. Does that make sense?"

She shook her head. "You shouldn't be worrying about me now." She said staring at the ground.

"I can't help it."

"Just, take care of yourself, okay?" she said looking up from the ground and into his face. "I know you don't get nearly enough sleep."

His expression softened.  "Aw Ells, still worrying about me."

She wanted to crumble as he called her Ells.

He sighed. "Look...I have to go back in a little bit...but they promised to give us time off soon. When they do i'll come home and we'll talk."

How long would it be until then?

How was she supposed to pretend like she didn't feel anything until then?

"Can you just...do me one thing?" She asked taking his hand in hers.

"Hm?"

"Promise me that, no matter what happens, we'll still be friends, just like we have been? I can't bear to lose your friendship Dae. I just can't." she finished, her voice barely above a whisper.

The corners of his mouth pulled up into a slight smile, and he cocked his head to the side and reached out for her other hand.

He pressed his thumb and pinky to hers, lowering his head to meet her eyes. "I promise. Ellie, you will never lose me as a friend."

She smiled slowly lifting her head.

He reached out, wiping a tear from her cheek.

She pushed his hand away. 

"Oh Dae, i'm supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around."

He smiled, the biggest smile she'd seen since his father passed. "You have been. I've missed you El."

"Don't say it if you don't mean it." she said bluntly.

His smile faded. "I'm sorry Ellie, I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you."

The guests began to leave, one by one, and Dae's leader and hyung Yongguk slowly came up beside him.

"It's almost time to go Dae." he said in his deep voice, resting a hand on Dae's shoulder.

Daehyun nodded. 

"Ellie." Yongguk said with a nod of his head.

"Yongguk." she replied with a bow.

He retreated to the rest of the group, leaving Dae standing next to her.

He sighed, tilting his head back looking at the clouds above.

She watched him swallow, his adam's apple bouncing in his throat.

He took a deep breath and slowly lowered his head, till his eyes met hers and he smiled, tears in his eyes.

"I will be back."

She nodded.

"I owe you a sleepover in the backyard still right?"

She nodded again.

"Have i ever broken a promise to you?"

Ellie smiled and shook her head. "No, no you haven't."

"See, I'm good for my word."

He took her hand in his, gently caressing the back of it with his thumb.

"Oh!" she said remembering. "I have something to give you..don't leave yet!"

He glanced behind him at s, standing in a circle and talking.

He nodded to her and she ran off to find her bag, retrieving something from it and returning to him, hands behind her back.

"Here." she said ing it in his direction. "For the times when I can't be with you." 

She stood holding his teddy bear that he'd given to her when her father had passed.

"He's good at keeping secrets. I know. I've done it." she said softly.

His eyes widened. "You still have him?"

"Of course." she said. "Why wouldn't I?"

Instead of taking the bear, he reached out and pulled her to him in a tight embrace, the bear smashed between the two of them.

"Wait for me." he whispered, his cheek pressed to the side of her head, his lips just above her ear, moving her hair as he talked. "I'll be back. Give me some time to get my thoughts straight. I'm sorry. Please wait, just a little longer."

She held him tightly in return. "Always."

He pulled away, and sniffed, wiping a tear from his cheek. "I have to go, i'm sorry."

She nodded. "I know it. Go on."

"Thank you, for this." he said holding up the bear.

As he started to turn, she called out to him.

"Daehyun."

"Mm?" he responded turning toward her.

"Don't skip meals...and get some rest. An idol shouldn't have eye bags."

He smiled and gave a nod.

"Make sure you eat! Skinny doesn't look good on you." she teased, watching as he walked away.

She had no idea when he'd be back.

But she would wait.

For as long as it took.