Prologue
Always at your sideShe sat at the edge of her bed, hands balled into fists in her lap, trying to numb the pain.
"L?" came a gentle voice from the door.
She didn't turn around.
She knew he'd come.
That's why she'd left the door open.
He closed it softly behind him as he entered the room.
She'd come in here to be alone.
And he knew it.
But he also knew she needed him.
He knew she was hurting.
He knew she was doing her best to hide it.
She was strong...at least on the outside,...never letting anyone know how much she was suffering.
Except for Dae.
He sat down on the bed next to her, saying nothing.
There were a couple dozen people in the house downstairs.
Yet no one seemed to notice she'd slipped away.
"L," he said again.
He was the only one who called her that. Everyone else called her Ellie. She'd lived next door to Daehyun since she was 5. They quickly became best friends, spending many weekends and after school hours together.
She was 10 now, he was 11.
Her father had passed.
Today was his funeral.
It still seemed unreal. She expected any moment that her father would come home, walk in the front door, and this would all have been a horrible dream. She had of course been Daddy's little girl. He had been a gentle man, kind, and caring. He never yelled, never raised his hand to her. Everyone that knew him, loved him. And now he was gone, and the hole in her heart ached horribly. She didn't think the pain would ever go away.
"I brought you something." Dae said softly.
He slid off the bed and moved to stand in front of her, stretching out his arms to offer her the stuffed bear in his hands.
Benji. His favorite stuffed animal.
He'd had that thing for as long as she'd known him.
Her eyes finally lifted from the floor.
"Take him." he said.
When she made no attempt to take the bear, he lift one of her hands, placing the bear in her lap, and then placing her hand on top of it.
"He can be here for you when i can't." he said.
He wanted to say he was sorry.
But he knew she was tired of hearing that.
It wasn't going to help.
It wouldn't cure her pain.
All she wanted was her father back.
But that wasn't going to happen.
"I have to go soon kay?" he said as he sat next to her again.
She said nothing.
Didn't move.
Barely breathed.
"Will you be coming back to school soon?" he asked.
She was silent.
His eyes studied her face a moment.
"He likes hugs." he said gesturing to Benji the bear. "And he keeps good secrets. You can tell him anything, and he'll never tell. I know. I've told him a lot."
Her eyes fell to the bear in her lap.
"Daehyun, honey, it's time to go." his mother's voice called from the door, startling them both.
Dae got off the bed and turned to his mother. "Ok, i'll be right there."
Dae's mother took a step into the room. "Ellie sweetheart, i'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling."
Dae's eyes went to Ellie's face, and saw her clench her jaw, the tears beginning to well up.
He knew she was close to breaking.
"I'll see you later L, kay?" he said, wanting to get his Mom out so L could be alone.
She made no motion to respond.
Dae took Ellie's hand that lay limp on the bed next to her and set it on the bear's chest.
"Remember what I said." he whispered before he followed his mom out, pausing for just a moment to look back before closing the door quietly behind him.
After hearing the front door close, Ellie stood up, moving to the window that looked out over the front yard.
Daehyun was walking down the front path, following his mother to the car.
She placed her hand on the glass and Dae stopped, turned and looked up at the window.
He saw her looking at him and he smiled, giving a quick wave, then ran to catch up with his mother.
She turned away, running to her bed and hopping onto it.
She wrapped her arms around Dae's bear, holding it tightly to her chest.
"It hurts." she whispered. "I just want my Daddy back. I want the pain to stop. Please...give me my Daddy back."
Ellie then buried her face in the bear's chest.
And sobbed herself to sleep.
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