Chapter 32b

HimChan was up with the lark.

Having to be at work at 5:30am every morning had turned him into a perpetual early-bird. His body clock was set and the alarm always went off at 4:30am, no matter what day of the week it happened to be.

This had the effect of further endearing him to Mark's family. Getting up early was part and parcel of living in the country, so his rise-and-shine habit fit right in with Mark's grandparents' routine. By the time Mark and his parents woke up around the late hour of 8:30, HimChan had already helped Mark's grandparents in the garden and in the kitchen. So, the comparable 'late-risers' were greeted by a virtual feast, freshly-prepared and all laid out, ready for them to enjoy.

But, this seemingly-endless energy gave out by mid-afternoon, around the time when HimChan would nap if he'd stayed up late the night before. And, he had stayed up late the night before.

So, while HimChan was asleep and Mark's parents and grandfather had gone out to catch some fish for dinner, Mark sat with his grandmother under a shady tree adjacent the garden and relaxed.

She got straight to the point.

"How is JinYoung?" she asked.

"He's fine," Mark replied automatically.

"Really? Then, how are things going between him and that girl your mother mentioned?" his grandmother asked, her eyes twinkling.

"They're not together anymore," he said indifferently.

"Oh. . . . I had wondered why HimChan changed the subject so suddenly last night. No matter," she said. And then changing the subject, she began, "your father told me you sold your half of the business in Jeju. Why did you leave?" she asked.

"It turns out a life on Jeju wasn't for me," Mark answered. "I thought I'd be happier in Seoul. Most of my friends from school live there."

"I didn't mean that. I meant, what happened between you and JinYoung? Why did you leave him?" she asked.

Mark just sat there looking at his grandmother slightly shocked. He wasn't sure if she meant what he thought she meant, so he was reluctant to answer.

His grandmother leaned in closer and said quietly, "I mean, what happened between the two of you? Why were you no longer together?"

At the sight of Mark's alarmed, confused expression, she chuckled softly to herself.

"Mark, I may be old, but I'm not blind . . . yet," his grandmother smiled. "And you may not know this, but old people like me tend to get up in the middle of the night. You didn't think relationships like this started in your generation, did you?"

Mark felt even more shocked.  She knew. His grandmother knew. And for a long time, it seemed, but she'd never said a word. And she wasn't upset. She had actually asked about JinYoung. It was hard to believe.

But if she knew, then what about his grandfather?

"Does Gua-Kong know . . . ?"

Here his grandmother lowered her eyes and then smiled only briefly.

"Yes, Mark, he knows. He saw you both . . . by accident one day when he went out to call you for lunch. When he came back from looking for you that day, he was quiet and said he couldn't find you, but I could tell that something had happened. He didn't sleep well that night and when days after you left he still wasn't himself, I persisted until he finally told me what he'd seen. He told me that he'd seen you kiss one another. he didn't understand why you would kiss your friend like that. I tried to explain it to him, but it was hard for him, Mark," she explained.

"But . . . he never acted any different . . .  or treated me or JinYoung any differently," Mark said quietly as he quickly ran through their visits in his mind.

"At first, he didn't believe it. Then, once he did, he didn't want to hurt you. He loves you. You're his grandson after all. And, he liked JinYoung."

"Gua-Ma, are you saying he accepted it?"

"Yes. It took some time but, yes. Do you remember when you came to visit that time and he hugged you for a very long time? That was to show you that he accepted you. Do you remember, Mark?"

He did remember. When they stopped hugging, he thought he'd spied tears in his grandfather's eyes, even though he was smiling as he always had. Mark had felt worried and nervous during that entire visit, wondering if his grandfather was seriously ill, and  waiting to be told some bad news. But it never came. Now he knew what had happened.

"But you never told my parents . . ."

"We agreed it was your place to tell them. When you were ready. But, I think they still don't know, do they? That's why they were talking about JinYoung and that girl getting married. Is that why you moved away?"

"How do you know all these things without me telling you, Gua-Ma?"

She tapped her finger lightly beside her right eye.

"When you've lived as long as I have and when you live a quiet life, things are easier to see," she revealed.

Mark, seeing that he could confide in his grandmother, gathered up his courage and finally told a member of his family about his relationship with JinYoung: from the very beginning to the end. Including the disaster with MiRa.

When Mark finished, he was surprised by her reaction.

She simply shook her head slowly and laughed softly to herself. Then, she sighed heavily.

"When you're young, you always make the mistake of thinking you have all the time in the world to waste," was all she said.

They then talked until moments before the rest of his family were due to arrive.

The last thing she said to him during their time alone came in the form of solemn counsel.

"You should tell them. There is a big part of your life, an important part they haven't known about. It's time they know, Gua-Son" his grandmother advised gently.

Mark respected his grandmother. She was wise in many ways, but Mark wasn't altogether convinced that this was a good idea. He had been with JinYoung, it was true, but they weren't together now and he didn't that it was necessary to tell them something that, in his mind, didn't have much of an effect on his life now. On the other hand, there still remained the possibility that JinYoung really had told his parents, and if that were true, they could phone Mark's parents any day. In that case, it would be better if they heard the truth from him.

Just then, HimChan entered the garden and began walking towards them.

"And HimChan?" Mark's grandmother asked, while he was still a long way off.

Now that she knew his secret, he knew what she was implying.

"No, Gua-Ma, he's only a friend," Mark said.

His grandmother just folded her hands and chuckled softly, nodding her head.

That night, after dinner, Mark invited his parents into the garden. He had something to tell them.

As they sat under the boughs of the large shade tree; the bearer of many secrets shared below its branches over the years, Mark told his parents the truth about himself.

"Are you sure?" his mother asked.

"Yes, Ma-Ma. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't," he said quietly.

His father, who had not looked up since he told them, asked, "it can't be changed?"

"No, Ba, it . . . can't be."

His father just grunted in response and then nodded once. Then, Mark saw him wipe his eyes.

His mother put her arm around his shoulder and hugged him. Then, when he placed his head on her shoulder, she began to his hair.

"It must have been difficult for you . . . all these years . . . to have to have kept this to yourself. It must have been so hard . . . " she said, her voice breaking. "You must have felt so lonely, when you were around us . . . And JinYoung . . . " she said suddenly, "we were even telling him he should marry that girl . . . " And tears began to roll down her face. "You had to go through all that on your own . . . "

She then turned towards him and hugged him tightly.

" . . . all on your own," she said rocking him, " . . . without your family . . . "

Mark's mother's heart was breaking. Not for herself, but for her son. For years, he hadn't been able to tell them anything about his life with JinYoung: neither of his happiness nor,  of his sadness. She felt as though she had personally caused her son pain, all because he felt he couldn't tell them, his own parents, about . . . the person he loved. She cried even more at the thought that, in some way, Mark had been . . . an orphan. A part of his life he'd had to live without parents. And she blamed herself.

His father was still shocked. And hurt. And saddened. And, he asked himself questions. How could this happen? Had they perhaps done something that caused this? Could it really not go away?

But, he kept these questions to himself.

"JinYoung's parents . . . do they know?" his mother asked.

"He said he told them," was all that Mark could say.

She loved her friend, but she knew her well. She knew that if JinYoung told them, his mother would only think one thing.

That it was Mark's fault.

So, inside she readied herself for the phone call she knew would come sooner or later.

But the thought that would haunt her later, was that, if they'd known about all this earlier, Mark and JinYoung would never have fallen apart, because none of what came between them would ever have happened.

And at that thought, she and her husband, would weep afresh.

*                                *                                *                                *                                *

That night, in the dark, when the house was abed, Mark lay in HimChan's arms. It had been a hard day and his friend knew he needed the comfort.

"I'm just wondering how we're going to have a professional relationship after this . . . boss," HimChan kidded, as he mussed Mark's hair.

"Just remember, screw up and your fired. That should keep everything simple," Mark returned and smiled.

It was nice to be able to just lie there, in HimChan's arms, exchanging banter, forgetting the trouble of the past days.

And as he drifted off to sleep, Mark wondered what he really would have done without Kim HimChan.

*                                *                                *                                *                                *

As soon as Mark stepped through the door of his flat, he felt the emptiness.

JinYoung was gone.

Even though he'd grown accustomed to living alone, he felt a wave of loneliness wash over him at the thought.

He put down his bag and immediately scanned his apartment for any sign, anything left of JinYoung.

Then, he saw it. On the table.

An envelope.

He fairly ran towards it.

It was from JinYoung.

Mark picked it up and pressed it to his chest before carrying to his bedroom and placing it on his bedside table.

That night, as he read the words, his heart ached for Pak JinYoung. But he had already decided. Days ago. And that decision was for the best.

His life would go on. And it would be a good life.

Without Pak JinYoung.

My Dearest Readers,

I would like to apologise for the low-quality of these last two chapters. I knew what I wanted to write—since I've already outlined the whole story—but somehow, I wasn't able to do it well. Sorry for that. I was tempted not to update today, hoping that I would be able to rewrite and hopefully improve the chapters, but I didn't want you guys to have to wait any longer for the story to move forward. I just had to get to this hump of the 'telling family members section', so that we can all move on.

I will try to do better in the next chapters. I don't know what happened. I guess everyone has their bad days.

As with the previous chapter, if I've made an error regarding the titles of parents, grandparents, or grandchildren in Taiwanese, please send me a message and I'll make the corrections.

Thanks for sticking with the story. I appreciate every one of you.