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Chapter 13

"I'll be there in an hour. Thank you for seeing me at such short notice. Yes . . . see you then. Good-bye."

Mark ended the call.

YoungJae wasn't there, but earlier, he'd made breakfast for Mark. Although Mark still wasn't hungry, he'd eaten a little to satisfy YoungJae, since he had been kind enough to cook for him. Once his dongsaeng had been reassured that he would be okay alone, he'd  left for work.

When he was by himself, Mark had started making some calls. Fortunately for him, he was able to get all his crucial appointments made.

He thumbed through the papers on the kitchen table, selecting files that he needed to take with him. Taking a final look through everything he'd packed, he noticed that there were some essential documents missing. He had apparently left them behind when he moved out, but he would have to pick them up before his appointment. He knew just where they were.

His heart sank at the thought of having to go collect them, but if he had any luck, JinYoung wouldn't be there when he went to get them.

There's nothing for it, he thought sadly as he slipped on his jacket and checked his tie in the mirror. Stepping into his shoes at the door and carrying his briefcase, he sighed before closing the door behind him.

It can't be helped, he thought.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

JinYoung awoke with a pounding headache. He sighed deeply as he struggled to open his eyes against the sunlight that was streaming in through the slats in the half-opened blinds.

I thought the blinds were closed last night . . .

But he could have been mistaken. He had worked hard to get drunk last night and he had succeeded.

The first few moments of wakefulness were peaceful. All he had to think about was how much his head was pounding, and how much difficulty he was having opening his eyes. In those few, brief moments, early in the morning, he hadn't yet had a chance to remember...

But then, suddenly as he closed his eyes again, the anguish hit him.

Mark was gone . . . . he was gone . . . .

As he lay there, tears began to well up behind his closed eyelids, until they streamed out of the corners of his eyes and flowed down the sides of his face. JinYoung wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he tried his best to suppress the sob that rose in his chest and throat. He in air heavily and his chest shuddered in a compressed sob as he exhaled.

He sat up and stared at the empty space beside him wondering where Mark was and what he was doing right now. He knew that Mark must have been in a lot of pain to have left him and the guilt over what he did washed over him anew. His heart thudded heavily against his chest as he thought of how much hurt he must be feeling. And it was all JinYoung's fault.

His mouth felt hot and sticky. He needed some water.

He dragged himself out of bed and stumbled towards the bedroom door.

Did he actually smell coffee? he wondered as the aroma hit him once he'd opened the door. He couldn't be imagining it.

Is Mark here?

With hope swelling in his heart, JinYoung ran towards the kitchen. There he was greeted by both a shocking and an unwelcome sight.

MiRa was standing at the kitchen counter. But it was what she was wearing that was the greatest shock. Or better, what she wasn't wearing.

It isn't Mark . . . he groaned inwardly. It's her. But, what is she doing here?

She was dressed only in what appeared to be JinYoung's pajama top.

"What . . . what's going on?"

"Oh, you're awake," she smiled, turning as soon as she heard his voice. "Good morning, Oppa," she beamed, "I've made some coffee. Would you like some?"

JinYoung rubbed his eyes. "What . . . what . . . are you doing here?"

MiRa laughed.

"What am I doing here? Don't you remember? Well, I guess it's no surprise that you don't. You weren't feeling too well last night. I came over because you sounded horrible on the phone. You were in pretty bad shape when I got here. I just stayed to make sure you'd be alright."

"What are you wearing?" he asked irritated at her appearance.

"Oh, this? I found it in your drawer. I didn't think you'd mind if I borrowed it."

JinYoung rolled his eyes and laughed derisively.

"You didn't think I'd mind . . . You didn't think I'd mind?  . . . You're unbelievable! Did I ask you to come over? Did I ask you to stay here?" he demanded.

"I came over because I was worried about you, Oppa," she soothed. "You sounded sick on the phone. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed really upset about something, so I didn't want to leave you alone."

JinYoung just stood looking at her incredulously.

"You're my friend. I was worried. What's strange about that?" she asked him.

"What's strange is waking up and seeing you dressed like that, standing in my kitchen when I have no recollection of you even coming over? You're really something."

"You have no recollection, because you were upset and drunk. What were you so upset about, Oppa? What bothered you so much that you drank until you passed out? . . . No, don't answer that. That's your business. But I'm your friend, so I thought I would stick around and make sure that you would be okay and have someone to talk to if you needed to. At first, I thought I'd stick around until Mark came home, but he never did, so I just stayed the night. I don't think anything would be weird about that."

"You didn't think anything would be weird about that, after what happened?"

"What happened, Oppa?"

"What happened? You kissed me. You told me you loved me. That's what happened. And you say you just came over as a friend?"

"You didn't need to bring that up," MiRa reprimanded. "No matter what happened between us that night, I care about you as a friend. We are friends. That can't just be over just like that."

"Look, MiRa . . .

"Anyway," she interrupted, "as I said, there's some fresh coffee and I've made some breakfast for you. Just take some aspirin, have something to eat and then once I'm sure you're okay, I'll be on my way."

JinYoung walked wordlessly past her to the kitchen sink. He took a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with cool water. After quickly downing two glasses, he started to feel just a little bit better.

"Look," he said wearily, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, it's just a shock to see you standing in my kitchen when I didn't even remember you being here; especially dressed like that."

MiRa only smiled as she handed him a mug of coffee and a couple of aspirins. He smiled cursorily at her and then took the aspirin before taking a swallow of coffee.

"H . . . hot . . . hot," he choked out.

MiRa laughed. "What are you doing gulping hot coffee? God, you really can't be left on your own, can you?"

JinYoung fanned and waved in front of his mouth before rushing to the sink to fill yet another glass of water and drained it. Once the burning had abated a bit, he caught MiRa's smile as she shook her head in disbelief at his idiocy. He couldn't help but crack a smile himself at his own stupidity. He blew air in and out of his mouth rapidly to cool it further.

MiRa came over to him and rubbed his back.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," he answered, clearing his throat, "I'm fine."

"You know . . . I know I shouldn't laugh, but you really . . . you really looked . . . so funny," MiRa began to chuckle.

"It's not funny," JinYoung said, now trying not to laugh himself. "It's really not funny . . . it hurt . . . "

"I know . . . but . . . but . . . your face . . ." she said, before she burst out laughing.

MiRa's laughter was contagious. JinYoung couldn't help but join in with a chuckle or two of his own. Honestly, if he wasn't accidentally biting the inside of his mouth, it seemed he was burning it. He had to admit it: sometimes, he really was an accident-waiting-to-happen.

So, the two of them, just stood there laughing uncontrollably.

And as they laughed, they didn't see or hear the door open.

MiRa was the first to see him. She stopped laughing and tried embarrassedly to cover herself, to no avail.

JinYoung's laughter slowed once hers had stopped. Then, following her eyes, he turned his head to see what she was looking at.

It was then that he saw the person he had been longing for, grieving for, weeping for, for the last 24 hours.

He saw the love of his life, looking at him as though someone had dealt him a savage blow.

He saw Mark.

"I'm sorry. I just need to get some papers, then I'll get out of your way," Mark said quietly, his eyes quickly sweeping over JinYoung and MiRa's states of undress.

"Mark," JinYoung breathed.

Mark rushed over to the desk and started rifling through papers.

"Mark, where have you been? I've been so worried . . . " JinYoung began.

"I'm going to go get dressed," MiRa interjected, flustered because of her appearance. She had only seen Mark a couple of times and now here she was, standing in front of him in only a pajama top and some underwear. "Excuse me," she said, and she rushed from the room.

JinYoung was grateful she left. He had to explain.

"Mark . . ." he began. "Where were you?"

Mark didn't answer. He just flipped through papers, stuffing some into his briefcase and returning the rest to the drawer.

"Mark, what are you doing? Mark . . . Mark . . . please, talk to me," he cried.

Mark stopped for a moment and turned to face JinYoung. His face was cold and stern.

"What, exactly, do you want me to say, JinYoung?"

"Mark, I was worried. I missed you so much. Please, let's talk . . . please . . . "

"You looked really worried when I walked in."

" . . . I can explain . . . "

"You know what? I don't want to hear any more of your explanations; I'm sick and tired of them. I just came to get some papers. I was hoping you'd already be in the office, so I wouldn't have to run into you at all. I guess it was just unfortunate that I had to interrupt you and your . . . overnight guest . . . "

"It's not like that, Mark . . ."

"I don't care what it's like," he said exasperatedly. "I've got to go. I've got an appointment."

"Please don't leave like this," JinYoung begged.

"Don't you think you should keep your voice down? MiRa might hear and then she might run straight to your mother to spill the beans that you were begging your so-called roommate like he was your lover or something. And we both know you don't want that, do you? You can't have anyone you really care about finding about me, the dirty secret you have to keep hidden," he said in low, harsh tones.

Mark had never spoken to him like that before. JinYoung was stunned. As he looked at him, he couldn't see in his eyes the thing that he had seen every day and every night for all the time they'd been together.

He couldn't see love.

And it terrified him.

"Mark, please, don't leave me. I can't bear it without you," he implored.

Mark's eyes were hard and emotionless.

"You have a guest to see to. Goodbye, JinYoung."

Then, as JinYoung stood there in utter shock, bracing himself against the desk so he wouldn't collapse, Mark grabbed his briefcase, strode across the room and, without even the merest hint of looking back, left.