A/N: Honestly... I'm slightly dissappointed with this chapter. But that's only because I was really pleased with the original one and I wasn't able to quite replicate it. I feel like I couldn't phrase and get out exactly what I wanted to. It doesn't quite have the same feel as the first one... Especially Kiseop's little monologue. He had a big part and now I can't figure out the words for him. :/  But I hope you all enjoy it anyways! I'd really like to continue this story ^^ And as always, a bit of optional music to set the mood~

I groaned in exhaustion, half of me trying to pry my eyes open and the other half not wanting to let the morning light in. I let out a deep sigh, unable to breathe through my now stuffy nose. I could feel the puffiness of my eyes and my face felt dirty from the dried tear streaks. Not remembering falling asleep, I almost had to ask myself what had happened the previous night, but seeing how the room lacked a hospital bed.. That was answer enough.

Before I could let my thoughts dominate my emotions and bring me crumbling again, something else caught my attention: An arm that had become a sort of make-shift pillow beneath my head, and another arm draped across my side. I quickly sat up, unknowing of who was so close behind me, but once I saw that it was only Kiseop's sleeping face, I relaxed and though it felt difficult to do.. I smiled. As much as I would have preferred to be alone, Kiseop had stayed with me despite my flailing, sobbing, screaming, and protesting. In a way, he had kept me from my self-destruction and instead managed to lull me to sleep. To see him here still (and keeping me from falling off the couch) was even more comforting. If I had woke up alone in the room.. I don't even know what I would have done.

Unable to find anything to do (and not wanting to do anything besides sleep) I tried to shimmy and snuggle my way back to how I woke up, pressing my backside against his warm torso and pulling the blanket up to my chin and his arm back around me like a seatbelt. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, both figuratively and physically. Kiseop was nothing more to me than a good friend, possible best friend. So to lie here like this... It didn't feel right. And Kiseop had told me something long ago that put slight distance between us.

But imagining that it was Eli's body who was keeping me safe... That alleviated everything and I began to drift back to sleep almost immediately—and happily.

...Was that wrong of me?

The door suddenly burst open, causing me to shoot up once again, my abrupt movements this time waking Kiseop up as well and he too sat up, somberly rubbing his eyes as sleep still clung on to him. But sleep had long left me. For what my line of sight held overwhelmed me with too much emotion to sit still. There were only a few nurses this time, and the doctor, rolling Eli in his hospital bed back into the room.Whether they had his body hooked up to more contraptions or not, I wasn’t quite sure. My vision was too occupied familiarizing themselves once again with the contours of his face. His broad brows, smooth skin, sharp features, still expression, dark hair that began to slightly frame his face.. I had felt deprived of him. And so I tried to take in as much of him as I could as quickly as possible.

“Kevin-ssi?”

“Huh?” Even after I answered the voice it took me a second or two more to tear my eyes away and look at her.

“Did you hear a thing I just told you?”

I hesitated to answer, afraid that I had accidentally upset her with my rude inability to control my own attention. There was an amused smile on her face however, and eventually I managed to stutter out a meek “N-no..”

“Well, before can relocate him back here without worry, we have to complete a few more examinations and checks to make sure he’ll remain stable. I’m sure you have a bunch of questions about yesterday,” Just the mention of yesterday made my stomach tighten and twist uncomfortably. Despite my best efforts to display otherwise, I could feel a hurt frown tugging on the corners of my lips. “Just talk to me whenever you want to,” Judging by the sudden soothing tone in her voice, my discomfort must have been obvious.. “But right now we’d like to finish up in here as soon as possible, so..”

I stared at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence but she only stared back expectantly, almost mirroring my expression. “So..?- -“

“Come on, Kev!” Kiseop suddenly piped up with some enthusiasm even though his sleepiness was still lingering and evident in the slight roughness of his voice. “Let’s go get breakfast or something.”

I looked back towards Eli desperately. The last time someone tried to get me out of the room didn’t go well… I sure as hell didn’t want to go through that again. I especially didn’t want to leave only a mere few minutes after Eli returned. I was still busy making up for lost time. I was still busy with my daily activities; I was still busy with him. “But..- -“

“C’mon,” He continued encouraging gently as he put an arm around me and rest his hand on my shoulder. “We’ll just be gone while they finish up with Eli.”

And that was when it hit me.

“Oh! Yes!” I jumped off of the couch nervously—or embarrassed rather—and bowed. “I’m sorry! We’ll be out of your way. Please just.. just..”

“Don’t worry.” The nurse smiled. “We’ll only be a few more minutes and I’ll come find you when we’re done.” She smiled and with a nod, Kiseop and I were out the door. The moment it was shut behind me I suddenly felt so.. out of place. A few other patients walked by and I could see more throughout the building, walking around, in their rooms. I could see their visitors, their attending nurses and doctors. I could see the hospital staff making their way through, sitting behind their desks or work stations. Kiseop was standing right next to me. But I still felt so.. ..alone.

Lost.

I know well where I am. But I felt loss of..reason. Of purpose. Why was I standing out here? What was I doing?

“Ready?” Kiseop asked, his voice turning my head to look at him. He had a smile on his face. A soft, bright one that you could feel the pure sincerity and genuity from. …And yet I could still feel that it was a bit forced. The smile was so natural..and yet I could feel he was trying hard to smile for the both of us. If I was capable of feeling anything at the moment, I would feel sorry that he’s been doing so much when he doesn’t even have to be here. And I would feel thankful that he was.

I simply nodded a ‘yes’ at him and soon we were on our way to the cafeteria. A place I had come many, many times before to simply get what my body demanded before I returned back to the hospital room. A few other people milled about, everyone minding their own business. I only continued to follow wherever Kiseop walked, staying a few feet behind as I did. “So what do you want to eat?” My eyes met his for a moment before looking past him. An assortment of breakfast foods was prepared, more on their way. None of them caught my interest. “I’m not hungry.” Usually I hated being overly blunt and to the point with people, Kiseop especially, but right now I didn’t have the energy to do otherwise. “C’mon, Kev~ You’re gonna need energy if you’re going to spend time with Eli~” Shifting my eyes back to him I could see the bright smile on his face, and I was happy to see that this time it reached his eyes. That was one thing Kiseop had in common with Soohyun-hyung; they could always cheer you up. They always knew just what to say to make you feel better, even if it’s just a little bit. I was tempted to smile back at him. He did have a point.. “I’ll get you some food, okay? Just go find somewhere for us to sit and I’ll be right there.” I nodded silently at him and departed the kitchen area as told, grabbing a drink on my way out.

“I didn’t know you drink Red Bull.” He commented with a chuckle just as I opened the can.

I gave a small shrug, not minding to offer a few more words than normal because I was simply happy to be sitting and not on my feet. Mostly because it felt like sitting next to Eli’s bed. “I didn’t. But I tried one when I first came here and started staying up. They’re pretty good I guess.” I held the can out to him, a silent offer for him to have some but he shook his head and continued setting out the food. Holy… “…That’s all for you, right?” But instead of giving me an answer, he just smiled that dorky smile of his and happily held some utensils out to me. “Kiseop… I can’t eat all this!”

This time he shrugged. “Well I’m here to help you of course. You probably eat less than you already did, huh? We need to get that stomach of yours working again!”

I couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. Kiseop’s always been a hard worker, not matter what it was about.

I tried to keep my eyes off of my watch so I wouldn’t be aware of how much time was passing. It passed rather pleasantly though. Conversation was minimal, which I had come to enjoy. And even though Kiseop frequently—though nonchalantly—pushed food towards me, urging me to eat more, he wasn’t stern about it. So I ate as I pleased, taking a few meager bites here and there. Honestly I was already starting to get full. But time kept ticking and the space between us grew more silent. Probably my fault, but my mind was too far away to care. I was going antsy. Anxious. Worried. I tapped my foot repeatedly. Fidgeted. Anything to occupy and ease my mind. I even tried eating more but that just made me want to throw it all up. Maybe the red bull wasn't such a good idea...

“Kevin-ssi?”

Both of our heads turned towards the voice, my heart already racing. A nurse was quietly approaching. It couldn’t be bad news right? He had just gotten back. They said he was fine. But what if something had gone wrong? How long has it been now? I glanced eagerly at my watch. , what time did we leave the room? I wanted to vomit and I felt like I was going to have a heart-attack. I think both Kiseop and the nurse could tell. He reached across the small table to gently grab my arm, rubbing his thumb across it and the nurse smiled softly. “Now, now~” She cooed. “There’s no need to worry! He’s perfectly fine.” My eyes slipped shut and I let out a deep sigh, feeling relief wash over me.

“Am I able to go back in then?”

“You’re more than welcome to go ba- -“ The moment I saw her nod I stood from my seat and hurried towards room 148. Usually I might have been sorry for my rude, disregarding behavior. But honestly right now there was only one thing I cared about. I almost didn’t hear Kiseop apologize to her for my eager anticipation. I most definitely didn’t care.

Shutting the door behind me brought more relief than I could have ever imagined. I could feel my heartbeat slow, my nerves stop twitching. I could feel the smile crawl back onto my face. I could see Eli again. It didn’t take me more than a second to pull up my usual chair next to his bed, and I didn’t take my eyes away from him for a single moment. He wasn’t exactly better—at least not as better as I would hope—but he was no longer worse. And right now that’s all I could ask for. I slipped my hand into his and sighed again. It felt heavenly.

That feeling of relief when you finally get to use the bathroom after holding it in for so long; How a drug addict must feel when he finally gets another hit after going through withdrawal; The way an alcoholic must feel when he grabs a drink after a long day of work… The joy of winning a competition; The elation of good news… I was suddenly familiar with all of those feelings and yet not familiar at all. Because I’m positive the way I’m feeling right now is more than all of that combined. Once again I was losing track of time, just watching and observing the contours of Eli’s face and enjoying the feel of his hand in mind. The only difference was that this time I didn’t care. I was perfectly content to let time pass like this.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

I practically jumped in my seat at the sudden voice, turning to find Kiseop leaning against the closed door. How long had he been standing there? I didn’t even hear him come in.. “W-what do you mean?” He took hold of the other chair and brought it up next to mine, next to Eli, and took a seat. “What makes you say that?”

He shrugged slightly, not bothering to meet my eyes. He simply leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and continued to watch Eli. For a moment I could almost see myself. “I see the way you look at him. It’s easy to look over when you’re not paying attention. But when you really watch—just stop and really watch. It may as well be the most obvious thing in the world. And it has nothing to do with how much you take care of him.” He paused for a moment, turning his head to look at me with a friendly, but sly smirk. Probably amused to see me staring at him in disbelief. Turning his head back, he began speaking again. “There’s this certain look in your eyes when you look at him… Even if it’s the shortest glance, your eyes really say a lot. They always do, really. Even though I haven’t seen your expression change much lately, and even though you don’t give more than a few monotone words for conversation, your eyes tell a lot more than you do. And when you look at him?” He shook his head slightly in what must be awe.

“You can just see the hope in your eyes. Hope not just for the chance that he’ll wake up, but hope that he’ll always be okay. Even if he stays like this, at least he’s okay. The pure happiness in your eyes, Kevin… You’ve trapped yourself in a hospital room with nothing and no one except another person—an idle person. And yet in your eyes you have everything in the world. Everything you could ever want and more. There’s a look of deep elation in your eyes when you look at him. And yet… there’s the slightest trace of dissatisfaction.” I raised a brow at the word but he continued on, continued watching Eli intently as if he was trying to see what I see. “The most miniscule trace of what’s not quite unhappiness, but pure longing. With all the happiness you can see the utter yearning in your eyes. The simple, intense, and desperate want. For something. For anything. As long as it’s him. Just glancing into your eyes, it’s easy to read the rest of you. What your emotions are, how fast your heart is beating, what’s concerning you, what you’re thinking? And it’s all about him.” I was about to protest. About to say ‘you don’t know that’, but Kiseop already spoke a response before I could say a damn word. “And I know it is because it only happens when you’re looking at him.”

Kiseop leaned back in his seat, folding his hands over his stomach and I couldn’t do anything but stare at him. I was frozen. I might not have even been aware of my own feelings, of my own thoughts. I might not have even noticed any of what he said in myself. And yet right now I felt like someone had stepped into my skin and read out everything about me. Like I had been strapped to a table, cut open, examined and analyzed for all to see. I felt open. Vulnerable.

“How do you know that’s love?” The words left my  lips in what was hardly a whisper.

Kiseop simply turned his head to me, wearing the friendliest of smiles as we locked eyes. “Because I’ve felt that way before.” That easily shut me up. With those words alone I already knew what he was talking about. “I’ve had that gaze as my own.”

I quickly averted my eyes to the floor, a bit of guilt washing over me, and he looked back to Eli. So we sat in silence for a while until it became too uncomfortable for me to bear. I raised my eyes, once again watching the man I had come to know so well. And for once, I think it caused me to feel the most despair I’ve ever felt. “Is it possible to love someone you don’t even know though?”

“Who says it isn’t?”

Once again, Kiseop had a point.

“You can love family, friends; an idea? Books, music, games, pets. You can meet someone and grow to love them too. You can fall in love. Who says you can’t with someone you don’t know? More importantly, what’s stopping you?”

And just like that we sat in silence again. But eventually that was broken too.

“I think I’m going to get some coffee. You want anything, Kevin?”

Reluctantly pulling my eyes away from Eli allowed me to see Kiseop already halfway out the door, lingering as he waited for my answer. I shook my head and he nodded, turning to leave.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out suddenly.

I didn’t mean to spit the phrase out, but I did. Just as I had done thousands of times before. We had already begun to move past it, and yet I still couldn’t keep myself from saying it again. I almost thought he didn’t hear me, but he poked his head back in the room just before shutting the door, wearing that dorky grin. “Don’t worry about it, Kev. It was a long time ago.” I nodded sheepishly. “And plus, the key word was ‘felt’.” I raised a brow at him and he smirked. “Not gonna lie, I think I’m starting to have that gaze again.”

“Who?!” I asked, bursting with curiosity. But the damn tease only pressed a finger to his lips and slipped out the door, leaving me once again with Eli. But in the end, that was how I liked it. I leaned forward, slipping my hand back into his, allowing myself to once again lose track of time. With Eli, every second felt like lifetimes. And I enjoyed every single bit of it. It was times like this I was so happy I could almost feel his own hand holding mine.