His eyes slowly parted and a small groan slipped from between his lips. It was all blurry at first—just a bright haze. But as if his eyes were just now waking up as well, things gradually came into focus and he realized a doctor and nurse were standing at his side, smiling down at him.

 

“Eli-ssi?”

 

He blinked a bit and glanced around without answer. A… A hospital room? He swallowed hard and his eyes flickered around so quickly that a headache began to form. He could feel his pulse quicken in his confusion and his eyes snapped back to the doctor when his voice sounded once again, this time in a reassuring manner. “Eli-ssi, it’s alright. Please don’t worry. We’ve taken good care of you.” 

 

And still, the bed-ridden male just stared back, eyes wide with a sharp exhale spilling from his lips. That was Korean, wasn’t it? He wondered what kind of expression he must have had on his face because the doctor turned his head to mumble something to the nurse before looking back at him. She steps closer, does something to the machine that has a small tube going across his face that  provides him with a flow of oxygen. When the doctor speaks this time, it’s in English. Extremely broken English. “Do you.. ah.. Do you.. know.. Ko..re-an?”

 

“Y-Yeah..” Eli replied and cleared his throat, surprised by the sound of his own voice. Even the simple action of speaking felt unfamiliar to him. “I can speak Korean.” He can feel his breathing grow uneven and suddenly he was aware of how his lips had parted to allow his shallow, shaky breaths to escape. 

 

The doctor seemed hesitant about his statement proclaimed in English, but he smiled anyways and asked in Korean, “If you can understand Korean, please raise your right hand.”

 

…and so Eli simply stared. He knows Korean. He knows he knows it. He could identify it. And yet all the syllables spoken to him held absolutely no meaning in his mind. They might as well have been telling a story in Russian or one of the many Indian or African dialects. Eli sighed in frustration and looked away, his body shaking slightly. The small action was answer enough for the doctor who spoke again to the nurse. She left the room and shortly after was replaced by a different nurse. 

 

“Eli! It’s good to see you’re finally awake.”

 

The patient excitedly snapped his head to look at the new nurse—the sudden motion causing him to realize how lacking he was in control over his body—happy to understand the sentence. Of course, it was in English. 

 

His lips separated to speak, but she smiled kindly and cut him off. “Now I know you must have a lot of questions but there are some things we need to get out of the way first. Afterwards I’ll answer all the questions you have.” 

 

He nodded hesitantly and followed through with her series of instructions. Wiggle his fingers, curl his toes. Raise his right hand, then his left hand. Look left, look right, up and down. Repeat a few sentences after her, recite a few things, answer a few common facts, then sit still while they checked his vitals. 

 

“Excellent, excellent.” The nurse grinned after she was done translating the information over to the doctor. “You’re doing much better than we could have even hoped. I truly mean that. It’s amazing, really.” 

 

“You sure about that? I feel like a toddler who doesn’t know how to use their body.” He grimaced and wriggled his fingers as if he was trying to figure out what they were and how they worked. He’s noticeably calmer. It must be from the increased flow of oxygen. 

 

The nurse’s expression softened and he raised a brow at her. “That’s expected. You’re doing exceptional mentally. But physically, it’d truly be a miracle if you woke up and moved about like nothing had happened.”

 

“Well what did happen?”

 

There’s a slight pause. She doesn’t know how to start. “Do you know today’s date, Eli?”

 

“…the fact you’re asking me tells me that I don’t…”

 

She sighed softly to herself and showed him her clipboard, pointing to the date at the top of the paper with her pen. Eli stared at it long and hard, so much so that she almost wondered if he had gone into shock. But seeing the oblivious look in his eyes when he finally looked back up at her, she knew the numbers meant nothing to him. 

 

“Eli, what’s the last thing you recall doing?”

 

The male nestled back against his pillows, brows furrowing in contemplation. He could recall numerous things, several of them a bit hazy, but all of them he couldn’t quite piece together. What went where? Which ones go first? What was the last? 

 

“Don’t overwork yourself trying to figure it out.” She finally cut in. “I’ll get to the point.” He nodded at her, motioning for her to continue and she bit her lip, wondering how to break the news to him. “If the language didn’t tell you already, you’re in Korea. Seoul. Travelling here I assume?—“

 

“I had just moved here.” Eli interrupted, his eyes widened slightly as things began falling into place. He could feel the pace of his heart quicken again and hearing the small ‘blips’ from the heart-rate monitor definitely weren’t helping. His fists clenched and he grabbed at the sheets to try and calm himself. Brace himself against whatever information and memories were to follow.

 

“Ah. Well… you had gotten into a major car accident and have been in a coma for a few months now…” She paused, studying his face for any reaction before continuing. “Your body has recovered exceptionally well. You had gotten yourself covered in gashes, scrapes and open wounds; broken several bones and such, fractured a few things here and there. But now you’re practically good as new. Just…”

 

“Just not able to completely work my body. Got it.” He finished her sentence with a bit of self-resentment. 

 

“That and apparently some memory loss. Thankfully you don’t seem to be experiencing major brain damage. We’ll run more detailed tests after we’ve let you rest a bit more. But you’re speaking, which is excellent. You said you know Korean?”

 

“Or I did. I guess not.”

 

“That could be attributed to the memory loss. Hopefully that’s the only thing missing. For now, is there anything else I can do for you? Do you have any other questions?”

 

There’s a small moment of silence, a slight uneasiness that they’re both aware of. He’s handling everything too well. They both know it. He knows he should be in shock, confused, angry. Something. Anything. Maybe even scared. But he’s almost tempted to laugh, it all feels too surreal. Black out, wake up in a hospital feeling confused, find out you’ve been in a coma. ‘I’m doing well though!’ He jokes with himself inside his head. ‘Just some damn memory loss’. He’s almost tempted to roll his eyes. Just some goddamn memory loss. No biggie. Right.

 

“No, I’m fine…” He finally answers. “Well, fine as I can be I guess. Just… Just give me some time.”

 

“Of course.” She gives a small bow and turns on her heel to leave. “I’ll be back later to check up on you. If you need anything beforehand, there’s the nurse-call button over on your right. Please don’t hesitate to use it.”

 

The next few days pass in a blur however. The confusion doesn’t quite rub off even though he’s accepted what has happened. Frustration over the situation and its entirety finally caught up with him, filled him to the brim until he finally exploded. It was normal, they told him. And so he allowed the anger to wash through himself each time it surfaced. But despite all the aggravation and the misery, in the end the feeling was always the same—numb. Numb and empty. What was he doing with himself? What was there to do? Recover, sure. But then what? Just continue on from where he left off? Like nothing had happened? He felt useless. Like he was wasting away. A huge cinderblock had sat itself directly in his path and he was just sitting on the ground, staring at it. It was all confusing. It was all complicated because it wasn’t and yet it was. Everything triggered a different emotion and now it was all just a huge mess of things that blended together and rubbed out to nothing. He’d have his days where he’d just sit and sulk quietly to himself, just letting the time tick by, complying with whatever the doctors needed done. Other days he’d lash out without knowing why and without caring to know why. Everything only seemed to half make sense. Still, he made no effort to change it. It was all troublesome. And so he settled with being pissed off at the world. But even that was a nuisance because he hated the feeling. He was pissed at the world and ultimately at himself for being that way. 

 

Everything was suddenly routine and it left him on edge. Wake up whenever, sit around doing whatever, do whatever the doctors requested, eat whatever they had for him. He could only talk to one nurse, but of course she still had to tend to other patients as well so seeing her was an occasional event. And that made relearning how to control his body with the help of the other nurses awkward. He could never tell if they were cheering him on and guiding him with the soft spoken Korean words that they repeated, or if they were continuously chuckling to themselves thinking “wow, look at this idiot he can’t even walk”. Logic told him it wasn’t the latter, but bottled up emotions from not knowing how to converse convinced him it was the prior and so the exercise would only go on for a good few minutes before he stubbornly called it quits, feeling much like a little kid throwing a tantrum because his parents wouldn’t let him do what he wanted. 

 

It was for that reason exactly that he threw himself back down in his hospital bed, crossing his arms over his chest with a small huff, turning his head to glare out the window when finally he spotted it. “What’s that?” He asked the nurse as she reached for the door handle, prepared to leave once Eli had given up for the day. She turned her head to look back at him, surprised that his frustration hadn’t completely shut him up this time. The man repeated himself and pointed. “What’s that?” Suddenly he wonders why he never questioned why there was a bed pillow situated at one end of the couch. But the thought is only momentary and still isn’t of his concern. What really caught his eye was the notebook that hid beneath it.

 

The nurse shuffled over and held the book out to him. “This? It belonged to the boy that used to stay here.”

 

For once, Eli was genuinely interested in what the nurse was telling him. “What do you mean he used to stay here? Like this was his room before or something? Where is he now?” His eyes widened slightly and he felt silly for it. It was a hospital. There should be no surprise that someone prior could have died in this room.

 

“No, no, no.” She laughed lightly. “He was… Well I don’t know how to explain exactly. He stayed here and watched over you the entire time you were unconscious.” Amused by the reaction shifting the contours of Eli’s face, she continued. “I know. We were all confused by him. He stayed here day and night, never left for more than a moment. I rather admired his determination though. He was insistent upon his actions. I was never able to understand why he did what he did, but he seemed sincere. I asked him why once. He said he didn’t want you to have to be alone. I left it at that. Honestly he helped us out a lot. Whether you realize it or not, I’m sure he helped you too. In more ways than one.” 

 

“Where is he now..?” His voice trailed off, not sure what to think of what he was being told. 

 

The nurse only shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. The last time I saw him was the day you woke up.”

 

And suddenly Eli remembers. The memory is still hazy in his mind, but he sees it. He sees him. The gentle features; the thin, delicate lips that smiled brightly; the yearning eyes; the characteristics that almost left an angelic feel faintly in his mind. Subconsciously, Eli wiggles his fingers. Somewhere in the back of his mind he can feel the boy’s hand lightly gripping his own. And finally, he manages to mutter “Thanks,” to the nurse and she simply nods and departs, leaving him to skim through the journal in his hands. 

 

---

 

A/N: I'm sorry it's been such a damn long time. Life definitely threw me a curve ball and I lost my want to write, but out of nowhere I've had trouble figuring out how to spend my time/how I used to, and that's when it hit me. I don't write anymore and I think I miss it. Emotions at the moment are definitely a good muse too. So I should be back! I just apologize that now my writing skills are down the drain OTL Which is why this chapter is shorter. I wrote it up before I stopped writing. There was supposed to be more, but I'll include that in the following chapter because you'll probably be able to see the unfortunate difference in my writing abilities. But I've missed you guys TT n TT