"There's no way I'm letting you get away with this!" Kevin laughed as he slung an arm around AJ's shoulders, walking down the street alongside him. AJ grinned cheekily at him, locking eyes with Kevin whose own pair of dark, glassy orbs seemed to sparkle as they reflected the street lights.

"I told you I'm fine!" AJ chortled with a playful smirk. "I don't need your damn help." He finished his sentence with a small stumble over the curb and erupted in another burst of laughter, causing the other boy to laugh with him.

"Oh I think you do." Kevin cooed, always able to find amusement and pure entertainment in his friend's drunken manner. "C'mon, we can go back to my place."

AJ gave a dramatic shake of the head, the intensity of the action throwing his woozy head off balance so much that Kevin had to hold tighter onto him so he wouldn't topple over. "No no no, I don't-- I don't want to bother Soohyun and Kiseop."

Kevin rolled his eyes with a smile. "They're still at the club, stupid. And at the rate they're drinking compared to how you handled your alcohol? They'll be out for a while longer."

AJ raised a brow at the thin male, the small action in itself asking 'you sure'? which made Kevin flash another charming smile. "I insist. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you~" He eyed the more or less ‘smashed’ boy in his arms. "Trust me, you'll appreciate it."

He was eventually able to persuade the other boy into joining him for the night, and after what would have been a refreshing walk if AJ hadn't been so damn out of it, they stumbled into the dark, unlit apartment. AJ spun on his heel and landed on the couch with an 'oof', his weight and continued hold bringing Kevin down with him--and on top of him.  It was a bit awkward, but they laughed at their clumsiness and Kevin struggled to untangle their limbs and get off, seeing as how the other male couldn't offer much help. It took a bit of tugging to get one of his arms out from underneath AJ, the pulling back of his upper body pushing his lower half down and forward. But with his hands free he could now grasp the couch on either side of the AJ as he worked on getting his legs free, having to lean forward to bring his knees up on each side of the drunken male until finally he could hop off and away.

Kevin laughed, clearing his throat sheepishly as he walked towards the kitchen to turn on the small bulb above the stove-top to provide them with a bit of light, swearing to himself the smirk he think he may have seen on AJ's face wasn't there.

"So! What should we get you, hmm?" He called playfully from the kitchen, swinging the refrigerator door open. "Water, juice, soda? Oh! How about milk?" He grinned to himself, not bothering to hide the playful mischief in his voice. "I think that one sounds pretty good. Don't you?"

"Oh I see what you're trying to do." AJ cooed back, his words slurred slightly. "You're playing games with me!"

"Am I?" Kevin raised a brow and looked over his shoulder at the other, a corner of his lips upturned before pouting innocently. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, AJ."

"Uh huh, uh huh. You're trying to keep me sick so then you HAVE to take care of me!"

"Oh please." Kevin rolled his eyes, laughing. "You wish I'd take care of you."

"Mm, maybe I do~"

He scoffed, chuckling a bit. "I bet you do."

````

Kevin stepped into the stark white room, a wave of relief and comfort washing over him, a hefty sigh hanging from his lips. The lack of color in the room contrasted his preferences and the entire place smelled of over-sanitization in order to mask other probably more unpleasant smells. And still...it was beginning to feel like home. Here he felt at ease. Here he felt he had at least the slightest grasp on what was going on, even if in reality he didn't at all. Here he could see the face he now believed he knew better than his own. Maybe he was crazy. Maybe what everyone else was saying or might be saying was right. But as he stormed out he realized he didn't care one bit. Because it was here that he felt at peace. And maybe even...happy.

He sat down in the chair that still rest next to the hospital bed where he had left it, his hand subconsciously falling into the other's unreciprocated grasp. Maybe at first it had been to find a trace of the male's pulse, maybe it had been to provide comfort. Whether it was comfort for Eli or himself he didn't know and didn't bother to ponder over. By now though, he did it without thinking. The same way he spent his days. He didn't bother to contemplate his actions the way the others' did. He just did what he felt. Because in the end that was what put him at ease. That was what made him content. And yet... and yet a small part of him had to keep reminding himself that. Had to keep reminding himself that regardless of any one else's opinions of right or wrong, sane or insane, this was what he felt was right. And that in itself provided any justification needed.

Kevin almost scoffed at the thought but quickly pushed it all aside, another sigh leaving his lips as he allowed his eyes to slip shut. Maybe all of this was nonsense. Maybe he was crazy and acting irrational. But for now... for now he'd allow himself to enjoy it for at least a little bit longer. Just a little bit...

```

Hot lips placed a mess of sloppy kisses up and down his neck, moving with fervent desperation. He could feel a slick tongue poke out here and there, tracing quick shapes and it made his stomach turn--his skin boil and crawl. It made his fingers and toes bend and curl.

And he hated it.

He hated every bit of it. He didn't necessarily have a reason to. But he did. Every single moment, every single movement. It all felt undeniably wrong. Wrong and without a doubt unwanted.

He wasn't even sure how the hell it happened. He didn't ask for this. And at no future point in time did he plan on ever asking for it. It just...happened. And it was all happening so fast he didn't know how to make it stop.

Mind frozen in astonishment, it took him much longer than he would have much rather preferred to part his lips, throat struggling to cough out any words of protest. And by the time he had achieved that first very minor step, the kisses moved from his neck to his own pair of lips and continued their work there.

"A-AJ!" He finally coughed out, shaking his head vigorously to tear his lips away. His hands managed to force and crawl their way between the two bodies so that he could attempt to shove the other male away but the moment there was space between the two and he had almost gained hope of being able to step away, he was roughly shoved up against the wall once more. To his demise, his attempts at separation only seemed to fuel the fire.

A hand that wasn't one of his own s its way along his side, another snatching his wrists and pinning them above his head the second he moved to attempt another protest. He couldn't even use his own voice to reject any of the actions either. Any attempts at sounds became muffled into a moan-like noise by the over-exaggerated kisses and was greatly misinterpreted by the alcohol tainted brain. He could feel AJ smirk into the one-sided lip lock and it made him nauseous. He was almost thankful for it though. If he was lucky maybe he would throw up into the other man's mouth.

```

Kevin’s eyes slowly parted; his vision and brain aching from the all too bright lights. He raised his neck, the motion sending a pang of pain throughout his body from the way it was craned; his hand still curled on the bed from where he was lazily drawing shapes into the sheets. He couldn’t even recall being tired. It must have been the tumble of emotions that snuck up and wore him out. Now he just felt out of it in every which way. He sat back in his chair, eyes sliding shut once more. The corner of his lips turned upwards and he chuckled at himself, amused by how he couldn’t even control his body. He could feel his hand tightening ever so slightly around Eli’s. No wonder everyone thought he was crazy… ‘Maybe I am crazy…’ He sighed. ‘So what if I’m crazy…’ And then his eyes snapped open. ‘I’m crazy. I’m crazy. I’ve gotta be crazy—‘

```

“Kevin?” Kiseop called out curiously, slipping his shoes off as he shut the front door behind him. The boy was probably asleep already. But why was the door unlocked? That wasn’t like the younger male… He switched on one of the lamps, eyes glancing around the apartment. Nothing was missing. Nothing was out of order. Just a cup of water sitting by itself on the counter.

And then he heard it.

“Kevin?” He asked in panic, feet already sprinting down the hall. He didn’t even have to burst in the other’s room. The door was already left wide ajar as if someone had left in haste. And there in the darkness, he could see the outline of Kevin, blankets bundled around him, clothes thrown about. But above all, he could hear him. He could hear the tears, the sobbing, the heaving as he choked on his own breath. He could hear the pain.

“Kevin?!” He quickly walked to the boy, hands moving to gently grip his shoulders. The shine of the streetlight outside gave just enough light to illuminate the streaks running down his face. He didn’t answer at first. He only made eye contact, and broke down further as Kiseop pulled him into his arms. “Kevin… What happened..?”

“K-Kiseop-ah…” He finally cried out, his voice hoarse and cracking from his previous yelling and screaming. The sound of his own voice broke both of their hearts, and so he cried louder. Louder and louder until he was completely drained.

```

Kiseop hummed quietly to himself, blowing air into the small hole in the lid of his coffee cup as if that would help it cool down faster until it was drinkable. “Hey, Kevin. I got you a—“ He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes immediately widening. Kevin was standing, the chair fallen backwards signaling that he had stood up suddenly, and he was facing the doorway, expression matching Kiseop’s own except his had an incredibly wide smile. The joy that shone in his eyes was one that the elder hadn’t seen in many months. And even then he wasn’t sure if any of those matched up to the elation that he wore now. And finally he pieced it together.

“!” The coffee cups slipped from his hands, spilling out across the tile floors. He didn’t have time to care about that though. In his excitement he couldn’t think straight. He could only follow where his body took him. “Nurse?!” He cried out urgently, jogging up to the reception desk. “Nurse!”

Kevin turned back to the body in front of him, still holding the other’s hand tightly. Only this time…  it was holding his too.

“Eli?” His voice was hardly more than a whisper, and still the excitement was clear.

The man’s eyes shut tighter before parting into a squint, and then slowly rolled to look up at Kevin’s smiling face. The action felt strange, almost like he had forgotten how, but he thinks he’s smiling back too, and he grips the hand in his own tighter as he tries to regain control of himself.

"Hey," The English syllable slips gently from his lips.

In that small smile, Kevin could feel his heart racing—the rush of blood heating his body with joy. In that small smile he thinks he’s seen the entire world. That small smile gave him all the happiness there could possibly be to feel. And at the same time, it was that smile that broke his heart—because nothing could be the same.