A/N: I apologize that this chapter is rather brief and just..not..good. It wasn't very well thought out or as developed as I would have liked it. But I just really wanted to get something out before too much time passes because I might soon be busy with a bunch of school > < I hope you enjoy anyway! I have a lotttt planned for the next chapter~

Day 1 -

Well, before anything else I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Kevin Woo, born November 25, 1991, so you and I are the same age! I hope you don't mind that this is written in English. Even though you're Korean, I hear that you just moved here from America, so I'm not too sure which language you're more proficient in. I assume you're good in English though. I grew up in the U.S. too! That would explain my name--Kevin. My Korean name is 성현, but I never really go by that. And your Korean name is 경재? But I also assume that you simply go by Eli. So you're from the D.C area? I visited there once with my parents when I was little, but I grew up in San Francisco, then moved here a few years ago. Ah, I'm sorry. You're probably wondering why I know so much about you. I don't know quite how to explain.. You'll probably think I'm crazy.. But I only mean well. So here it goes: As I was leaving the grocery store, there was a car accident. You were in it. Now that I think about it, I'm not exactly sure why I followed the ambulance to the hospital, but I did. I suppose I just wanted to know that you'd be okay. But now you've been comatose....for the past two months. . I decided to wait at the hospital until someone with some sort of connection to you could come..But no one did. Obviously you know why. (then again, I don't know how much you'll remember when you wake up..) The police eventually came after they were done investigating the scene and brought your belongings--which is how I learned about you. From them and your passport. They told me you had no one here. That you had just arrived in the country that day. So I decided to stay. I didn't want you to be alone. No one should have to suffer alone.. Agh! I'm so sorry. This entry is so awkward. It's painful to read over what I've written. But I had to get all of this out of the way at some point. So yeah.. I've been here since then, making sure you're taken care of as best as possible. Which is the point of this journal--to mark your progress and give you something to look back on so you won't have to fret over missed time. (But even though this is marked as day one of the journaling, it's already been two months. ..I'm sorry I missed that..) I hope in the end, you won't think of me negatively for this..

Even if the world turns its back on me and disowns me
now i am not afraid- because you're by my side
i i i know exactly what you'd say

"Aish.. Kevin.."

I had been writing another entry in the notebook for Eli, singing softly when the voice interrupted. I didn't quite mind though. The nurses' visits were slightly less frequent then when we had first arrived at the hospital, and besides them there hasn't been any visitors since Dongho. So I didn't feel as irritated by the unexpected company this time. Then again, besides that, I feel like I've been in a bit of a better mood as of lately. Like I've found hope once again.

A smile spread across my lips once I finally raised my eyes to see who had entered. "Soohyun! Honestly, I'm surprised to only be seeing you now. How long has it been? Knowing you, I thought you'd be one of the first to come."

"It's been almost two and a half months.. You really do look as rough as they told me." I slid the journal shut as he came to sit next to me on the couch. Has it really been that long? My eyes slid over to Eli and I let out a small content sigh. I don't think I would mind having to stay here for years if I had to. "I would have shown up sooner but both Kiseop and Dongho said that you weren't up for visitors. So I tried to respect that- -"

"But of course, you could only contain yourself for so long." I cut in.

"That's right." He gently tossed his arm around my shoulders in a friendly manner. "I care and worry too much to just wait for someone to contact and update me. I'm sure you all know that."

"We do, eomma~" My teasing earned me a light-hearted shove.

"Really though," He lifted one of my arms, pretending to examine it (although he probably was actually doing so) "Have you been eating right? Getting sun? You used to weigh, what, 46kg? How much now? Half that?"

I slowly pulled away from his grip. I knew he meant well, but the words still came close to injuring a soft spot and I think he could see that because his tone quickly changed to one that was as gentle as could be. "Really, Kevin-ah. What's been up?"

It took me a moment or two.. but eventually I told him everything. There was no need to hide anything from Soohyun. He was like an older brother. Being the jokester he was, yeah he could jab and tease, but he would always be extremely protective and loving beneath everything else. So I told him. I've been eating when I feel like it. Twice a day maybe? Once in the late morning, and again in the afternoon. No, I haven't spent time outside since I came here. I only sleep when my body won't have it otherwise. I probably have lost weight. I probably don't look anything like I used to. Before I used to take some humble pride in my looks. I was handsome with a pretty face. But now none of that mattered. And I think he could see that, because he didn't say anything else. Not even his eyes held any sign of protest. Concern maybe, but nothing else. Unlike others, Soohyun knows how to respect other's decisions. And I think he could see that I'm happy with all of mine.

So instead of trying to change my thinking, even subtely.. instead he decided to join me. Even if only for a little bit.

"So who's this?" He asked, with what sounded like genuine curiosity.

I smiled, happy to allow my attention divert back to the other man in the room. He had become nearly all that I knew. Nearly all of my life. All of me. "Eli Kim. Or Kim Kyoungjae. But I think he prefers the first. Born March 13, 1991. He just moved here from America."

There was a slight pause, probably needing another second or so to take in all the information I had suddenly spouted out. I couldn't help it though. "Wow. I bet if there was a test about him, you'd get 100%." He gave my shoulder a kind squeeze, reassuring me that he meant no harm with his words. So I laughed along with him. I probably would score perfectly. I've only been here nearly all of the 2424 some hours of the past few months. My day only revolves around him. Wake up to see him; Write in the journal for both him and my sanity; Take care of him however I can or however is needed; Sing or read to him; Get something to eat then come back to eat with him; Maybe play a game or browse the internet or something for my own entertainment, but that never lasted all too long; So I'd go back to doing something with Eli; Watch as the doctors and nurses do their checkups; Maybe eat again in the evening; sing him to sleep; Sleep; Then repeat the process all over again. That all would be an eventful day. I just as happily spend my days simply sitting at his bedside, singing and talking to him. Watching his still face.

My chuckling slowly faded into silence, the corners of my lips straightening out. Thinking all of that over in my head...was that obsessive? I know it's probably unusual for someone to do, whether they be family or not, but there wasn't anything wrong with that, right? I probably wouldn't care either way, but still.. I cautiously looked over at Soohyun's face, but he just smiled his dorky yet handsome grin at me. And I smiled back.

It was nice to look at someone's face and not see it twisted into an expression of confusion. An expression that criticized and judged my actions and decisions. It was nice to look at someone's face and see their smile that reassured you that everything is alright.

"So do you actually know him?"

I shook my head silently. Somewhat expected to hear Soohyun finally say something about what I was doing. But he just nodded. "Well this Eli better me damn thankful whenever he wakes up to have had you here the entire time. He better still be saying 'thank you' over and over again whenever I get here to see after you call me and tell me that he woke up."

Soohyun always has a way of cheering people up. "If he can even say 'thank you'!" I chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"Judging by the damage that caused him to lapse into a coma, when he wakes up he might not be able to complete even simply functions." He just stared at me, waiting for me to continue, and I rolled my eyes. "Like talking? He could even have to relearn how to walk."

Soohyun just crossed his arms, leaning back into the sofa. "I don't care. He better thank you however the hell he can."

I got to know you, who is so eye-blinding
I can’t hide it, I can’t help myself

Day 9-

My friend Soohyun came by. I hope you don't mind the visitors. I feel bad that if anyone comes to visit, it should be to visit to you, but they're always my friends.. They always wish you the best before they leave though. (Soohyun especially) So I know that they have us both in mind. Soohyun is a fantastic vocalist, so we sang together before he left. Could you hear? I hope you enjoyed it if you could. I know I was, but I think we were both singing for you. I wonder if you sing also? Maybe one day we can sing together as well.. But until then, you have to get better and stay healthy! So for now I'll just stick to singing to you. I wonder what kind of things you enjoy? I feel like there's so much I know about you and yet nothing at all.. The nurses should be coming by soon for your daily check-ups. As far as I know, you're doing well. So keep Fighting! I hope to see you soon

we’re not friends, we’re not lovers- it hurts and I cry
My heart cannot be hidden- it’s getting bigger- it hurts

I couldn't help but let out a sigh as I shut the journal. I scribbled out about half of what I wrote. Either because I feel like I'm mindlessly babbling instead of keeping a log, or because that one agonizing though keeps crawling into my head: As much as I feel like I know him, as familiar as he's become to him, when he wakes up I won't be anything. Just a stranger.

Sliding the notebook, pen tucked inside, beneath my pillow on the couch, I quietly crossed the room and slipped into my other position beside Eli's bed, my hand subconsciously taking hold of his as I sat down. I suppose that I've done it so many times that now it's become mere instinct when I sit here. I tightened my hand gently around his finger tips which were slightly cold, partially due to the hospital temperature. I don't think I'm the selfish type, but I seem to have changed in nearly every way during my stay here. As much as I'm dearly anticipating Eli to wake up, as much as I long to see his eyes open and maybe hear his voice which is still foreign to my ears whisper "hello"...I'm rather content with the way things are. Because I know once he wakes up...nothing will be the same. All of this will have to stop. ..And I don't want it to.

Unable to hold back another sigh from slipping out, I slowly stood and hovered over him for a moment. ..What do I say? "Sleep well, Eli." was all I could muster before planting soft butterfly kisses down his face. One on his forehead, a second between his brows, a third on the tip of his nose, and another softly on his lips.

If you are tired and exahusted
and you need someone else
I will be there, I’ll treat you well so you can rest

Day 14-

You just came back from some sort of scanning. I can't quite remember which one it was. I was still sleeping whenever they came in, so I could only watch them stroll you away in a half-awake daze. I tried to follow, but one of the nurses ushered me back to sleep. I woke again though when they brought you back and they told me that you were doing well. But even though I'd like to believe them, I'm still skeptical. Since I'm not actually family they can't tell me everything about your medical progress and such. In fact, they shouldn't really be able to tell me anything at all. But there's a nurse or two who will kindly slip more information than the doctors are willing to give. They say you're progressing ever so slowly though, and that you haven't had any regressions. So that's good. And I'd like with all my heart to believe every word they say. You've gone through some many scans and examinations since we first came here and I've tried to study about each one you've taken but there's much so many that now I get them mixed up. CAT scans, PET scans, EEG scans, I don't know. I just really hope that they're telling me the truth. I don't want all of my efforts in the end to simply be a waste. I don't regret a single bit of my time here! But.. I don't know how to explain. I'd just.. I'd like to meet you. Not your files. Is it possibly to miss someone you've never met? Someone who's never spoken or written a word to you?

Even if I throw everything else away, I want you
the foolish monlogue, the words I couldn’t tell you