Chapter 2: Breaking the Ice

          Sooyeon left Taeyeon and went out of the cafeteria. Again, Taeyeon was all alone. She wasn’t really quite sure if she made a new friend or not. In fact, after Sooyeon defended her, the other orphans avoided her even more. Nobody wanted to let her come in from the cold at all. Everyone excluded and ignored her. Not even her roommates liked having her around. They would all grow silent around her and whisper things behind her back. Why don’t they like me? she always asked herself, but she never could come up with a proper answer.

          All day long, she waited for the policeman to come back for her, but he never did. Hurt and disappointed, she wanted to cry again. Staying in this very inhospitable place burdened her too much. Oh, but I should at least be thankful that I’m still alive, she thought. Yet, in her silent reflection, she realized that it would be better if she had been in that accident too. That way she could be with her parents and not have to suffer such a difficult and lonely life without them. Again, she was brought to tears.

          That night, the door to her room was locked. The other girls in that room locked her out. So then, she knocked, yet no one opened the door for her. “Please let me in,” she begged, but there was no answer. Finally she just sat in front of the door and decided to just sleep there. She did not want to tell the scary old woman. That scary old woman specifically told her to “avoid being a bother.” Besides, what’s the use of getting into the room, when she would have to stay by the cold corner with no bed anyway? Sleeping by the hall would probably be just as uncomfortable. There was no difference.

          As she sat there all alone by the wall of the hall, she saw a small figure walking toward her from the far end of the hall. It was Sooyeon. When Sooyeon reached her, Taeyeon showed a friendly wave of her hand, but Sooyeon just continued walking toward her and pretended that she did not see it.

          When Sooyeon reached Taeyeon, she coldly asked, “What are you doing there?”

          “The door is locked and they won’t let me in,” Taeyeon explained.

          As if feeling pity for Taeyeon, Sooyeon asked, “Do you want to come with me? There’s an extra bed in my room.”

          “But my bag is inside.”

          “You can get your bag tomorrow while they eat breakfast.”

          Finally Taeyeon followed Sooyeon down the dimly lit hall until they stopped in front of a particular door with the number 9 on it. Inside, it looked exactly the same as the room where Taeyeon was placed in, although, this one was empty. No one else seemed to be staying here but Sooyeon. Now that was odd. Why did the old desk lady let her sleep in a crowded room when there was plenty of space here?

          “Go ahead and choose a bed,” said Sooyeon.

          Taeyeon sat over at the left double-decker bed and took off her damaged light-blue scarf. Then she asked Sooyeon, “Did you have this room all to yourself all this time?”

          Instead of answering her, Sooyeon just turned off the lights. Then she pulled a thin blanket over her head as she lay down on the other bed. “Goodnight,” she flatly said.

          How rude. I’m trying to make conversation here, and she just shuns me, Taeyeon thought. She really had no idea what to think about this Sooyeon girl. At one moment Sooyeon helps her out, but in the next Sooyeon just ignores her and acts like she doesn’t exist. The way she acted really made no sense. Finally Taeyeon just lay down and said, “Goodnight” also.

          The next morning, Taeyeon found that her backpack was already at the foot of her bed. Sooyeon was also nowhere in sight. Sooyeon must have gotten her backpack of her. That made her smile. Maybe she did make a friend in Sooyeon after all. So then Taeyeon got up and went to look for Sooyeon to thank her for her help. However, when she went to the cafeteria, she did not find her. That’s strange, Taeyeon thought. Where did Sooyeon go? Once again, Taeyeon spent her day alone waiting for the policeman or Sooyeon to come back. She really had nothing else to do anyway.

          By nightfall, Sooyeon came back into the same room number 9 where they slept last night. When Taeyeon saw her, she felt herself smile. Finally, Sooyeon was back.

          “Hey, where have you been?” Taeyeon asked, trying to be friendly.

          “Out,” Sooyeon simply said. Then she lay back on her bed again.

          “Oh,” Taeyeon said, rather disappointed at her vague answer. Then Taeyeon smiled again and said, “Thanks for getting my backpack for me.”

          Without saying anything, Sooyeon just got up and took out a notebook under her bed. Then she pulled a pencil from under her pillow and began to write.

          “What are you writing?” Taeyeon curiously asked.

          “You don’t need to know,” Sooyeon coldly replied.

          “Okay,” Taeyeon said, finally withdrawing from this uncomfortable conversation. If Sooeyon doesn’t want to talk, she won’t push it. She did not want to barge into people’s business if they didn’t want to let her in.

          After Sooyeon was finished writing on her notebook, she placed it back under her bed and turned the lights off. Before she could ignore Taeyeon again, Taeyeon said, “Sooyeon.”

          “What?”

          “Can we be friends?”

          Instead of answering, Sooyeon just pulled her blanket over her head again and went to sleep.

          Taeyeon sighed. Why is this place so cold and lonely? I miss my family.

The next morning, Sooyeon was gone again. When Taeyeon went to the cafeteria for breakfast, this time, she found Sooyeon sitting all alone on one huge table. She realized that everyone also ignored poor Sooyeon. No one wanted to share a table with her. They would rather sit on the floor or squeeze into a crowded table than eat with her. Feeling bad since she knew what if feels like to be disregarded, Taeyeon went to Sooyeon and sat on the seat across her.

“Hello,” Taeyeon greeted. Sooyeon just continued eating. Then Taeyeon asked, “Can I sit here?”

“You’re already sitting,” Sooyeon pointed out.

“Why aren’t the others eating with you? Don’t you have any friends?” Taeyeon curiously asked.

Instead of answering her question properly, Sooyeon just replied, “If you hang around me, they’ll avoid you too.”

“Why?”

Sooyeon did not answer.

After breakfast, the other kids went out to play in the snow, but Sooyeon just stayed inside. Taeyeon stayed with her in their room and continued trying to get to know her. This ice was pretty hard to break, but she tried her best anyway.

“Why aren’t you going out to play in the snow?” Taeyeon asked.

“What about you? Why aren’t you playing in the snow?”

“I don’t really want to,” Taeyeon said dejectedly. “The cold reminds me of my parents.”

“Well I don’t want to play either,” Sooyeon said nonchalantly.

“Why not?”

Instead of answering, Sooyeon just stared out the window and watched the snowflakes gently float down to the cold ground. Then Sooyeon said, “You’re lucky, you know. At least you grew up with parents. Most of us didn’t.”

Then Sooyeon took out her notebook again and began to scribble something on it. The more Sooyeon did that, the more Taeyeon became curious. What could she be writing on that thing?

After Sooyeon was done writing something on it, she hid it under her bed again. Then she said, “I just want to be warm.”

Seeing that Sooyeon was only dressed in shabby clothing that could barely keep her fragile little body warm, Taeyeon took of her light-blue scarf and wrapped it around Sooyeon’s neck. “Is this better?” Taeyeon asked.

For the first time, Sooyeon gave her a short smile that showed even the faintest of her appreciation.

“My mother made it for me to keep me warm,” Taeyeon told her. “Although it only keeps my neck and chest warm, it was good enough. The memories of her love and care were enough to keep me warm. Everyone deserves to feel warm during the winter, so I’m sharing some with you because you have been nice to me.”

Touching the warm scarf around her neck, Sooyeon said, “Thank you.”

Days passed, and slowly, they got a little better at dealing with each other. However, Taeyeon still could not fully understand Sooyeon. Sooyeon always wore the light-blue scarf since it was getting so much colder. For a long time, they just stayed close to each other without speaking. Sometimes they would talk until Sooyeon just stops responding to certain questions. Taeyeon did not bother to push her into talking though. If Sooyeon did not want to talk, it’s fine for her. Her presence was enough. On certain days, Sooyeon would be gone and would only come back late at night, but she never really tells Taeyeon what she did or where she went. Sooyeon also continued writing on her notebook but never showed Taeyeon its contents. Nevertheless, Sooyeon was Taeyeon’s only friend at the orphanage and she grew quite attached to her even though they still barely know each other.

On New Year’s Eve, Taeyeon stayed up all night to greet the New Year. For the most part, Sooyeon was asleep, but Taeyeon truly anticipated that midnight. She even had to pull Sooyeon out of bed just to make a wish.

“Sooyeon, Sooyeon, it’s the New Year!” Taeyeon exclaimed as she shook the sleeping girl.

“Ugh…” Sooyeon gave a big yawn and opened her eyes. “So what?”

“Every New Year, my parents and I make a wish at midnight. Can’t you make a wish with me? Please?”

“Okay, how do we make a wish?”

“First, we stare out the window, choose a star, and just make a wish,” Taeyeon explained. Then she opened the closed window and in came the burst of cold air, making them feel the chill down their spine.

Staring out the cold starry night, Taeyeon and Sooyeon both chose their own stars and silently made a wish as they held hands. The gleaming stars held their place as both children believed that the glittery gems heard their wishes. Unbeknownst to Taeyeon, they both chose the same star that was part of the W-shaped constellation of Cassiopeia. Then they both closed their eyes for a few seconds.

When Taeyeon opened her eyes she asked, “So, what did you wish for?”

Sooyeon frowned at her question. Taeyeon almost felt scared at her glare, but after staying with Sooyeon for a few weeks, Taeyeon got used to her coldness. After a long sigh, Sooyeon closed the open window and asked, “What did you wish for?”

“No, I asked you first,” Taeyeon insisted. Sooyeon glared at her again. Then Taeyeon just gave up and said, “Fine, I’ll tell you mine first. I wish that you and I can be good friends.”

          Upon hearing Taeyeon’s wish, Sooyeon’s eyes displayed a hint of sadness. Observant Taeyeon almost caught it, but set it aside thinking that it was nothing. Then Sooyeon turned back into her glassy demeanor and asked, “Are you sure you want to wish for that?”

          “Why not? You don’t want to be my friend?”

          Again, Sooyeon took out her notebook and quickly scribbled something on it. Before Taeyeon could take a peek, she closed it immediately and hid it under her bed. Finally, Sooyeon said, “It’s past midnight. I’m sleepy. Goodnight, Taeyeon.”

          “But you haven’t even told me your wish yet,” Taeyeon said—obviously disappointed in her roommate. She still doesn't understand why Sooyeon doesn't even answer her questions.

          Sooyeon just silently turned the lights off and went to bed without answering Taeyeon. Without a doubt, Taeyeon felt sad again. She had been trying so hard to get closer to Sooyeon, but every time, it seemed that she was being shunned. All she wanted was to move on from her parents’ death and start over. If nobody wants to be her friend, what now? Slowly, her heart was engulfed in depression. There in the darkness, she wept on her pillow. Nevertheless, she already wished on the brightest star that she saw out in that night sky. She knew that it would come true, whether Sooyeon liked it or not.

          As Taeyeon softly sobbed, she suddenly heard Sooyeon speak in the darkness saying, “When my wish comes true, that’s when I will tell you. Good night, Taeyeon.”