“Hyukjae-ssi…” The grey haired man in front of him murmurs, hands slightly shaking while holding onto the piece of paper. “Do you want to reconsider your decision?”

Nothing else matters anymore…

“Nothing will ever be more important than him.”

The day ends as per usual with the sky already dark as Hyukjae leaves his office. But this time, it isn’t because he worked late hours as he always did - reaching home only after Donghae had fallen asleep, the dishes left cold on the table.

This time, he walks out with a boxful of his past memories - of the ten years spent in this building.

He takes the memories - he takes them, and throws them into the nearest garbage bin he finds.

He turns to leave, and he never looks back.

-

Memories… So faint, so distant, yet something always there. Forgotten, denied, but are they ever really gone?

-

Hyukjae enters their apartment with an armful of bags, kicking the door shut with his leg.

Donghae rubs his bleary eyes, smiling gently as he sees Hyukjae trip over his feet in his haste to get to him.

"Hae, did you get a good rest? Do you need any water? Are you hungry? I-" Thin lips feather against plump, and nothing more is said.

“Silly Hyukjae,” Donghae chuckles, tracing the familiar contours on Hyukjae’s face. “Why do you look so tired?”

Donghae pauses, letting his hand drop weakly to his side.

"It’s because of me, isn’t it? Having to take care of me all the time. I’m such a burden, I can’t even be there for you when you need it, and yet I only make you so exhausted, and-"

He stops when he sees the wetness on the other’s cheeks, even though his own tears are streaming down.

"Hyukj-"

“Never say those things again Hae,” Hyukjae murmurs, wiping away the tears, letting Donghae bury his face in the crook of his neck. He lets the other’s tears slide down his neck, wetting his shirt.

-

The next morning, Donghae wakes up to find himself in a tight hold, pressed against a bare chest. He smiles, lightly threading his fingers through the other’s hair. Hyukjae stirs, pressing a kiss to Donghae’s dry lips.

“Morning, baby. Did you sleep well?”

Donghae blushes at the intense gaze on him -  even after 20 years, Hyukjae still manages to make him blush.

“Don’t you have to go to work?” Donghae whispers, lacing his fingers with the other’s larger ones.

“Not today,” Hyukjae replies. And probably not anymore…

Donghae looks at him inquisitively, and his lips part to question, but Hyukjae merely shushes him, hugging Donghae tightly again.

“Hyukjae, stop holding me so tightly, I can’t breathe!” Donghae chuckles, lightly pinching the other’s strong arms.

Hyukjae nuzzles into Donghae’s neck, planting a few kisses here and there. When he looks up, Donghae is staring into his eyes lovingly.

“I’ll never let you go.” I’ll keep holding you so tightly, so you can’t leave my side…

-

“What’s all of this?” Donghae stares at the plastic bags filled with colourful papers and sticks of glue.

Hyukjae waves a book in front of Donghae, his arms filled with all sorts of decorative materials.

“We’re making a scrapbook today!”

“Hyukjae, you’re making such a mess!” Donghae frowns, but laughs at the same time when he sees Hyukjae struggling to get a sticker off his nose.

“Help me, Hae.” Hyukjae pleads, he was never the artistic one after all.

Donghae grins, taking the glue stick from the other.

“Do you remember this day, love?” Hyukjae has his chin rested on top of Donghae’s shoulders, his arms loosely curled around the other’s thin waist.

“Of course,” Donghae murmurs, tracing the lines of their faces in the photograph.

He remembers the day they first got together, where Hyukjae had made him so embarrassed.

He remembers how Hyukjae got their whole class together to surprise Donghae, the words “Will you be my boyfriend” printed across a giant banner, held by Hyukjae and a few others, at the school field.

Donghae remembers how he cried, face burning with embarrassment, but feeling so touched, so loved.

Hyukjae smiles as he sees the fond look in Donghae’s eyes.

“I’ve been cheesy since the start, haven’t I?” Donghae leans back, and he nods. “Yeah, you have.”

“But I like it,” Donghae kisses Hyukjae’s cheek softly. “I like everything you do to make me smile, even though you might look stupid sometimes.”

Hyukjae laughs, and they paste the photograph of them on the field, Donghae holding a bunch of flowers while being piggybacked by Hyukjae, into the book.

Hyukjae scribbles a few lines to record down what happened that day, and Donghae adds a few of his own after.

“Do you remember this?”

That day was one of the most nerve wrecking days of Hyukjae’s life.

He remembers how he had spent months planning before that, to make sure everything would go perfectly.

They look at the series of pictures together - where Hyukjae is kneeling down with a ring in his hands, where Hyukjae is playing the guitar, singing the song he composed to Donghae, and finally, where the two of them are kissing under the stars.

Yes, that day was perfect.

Donghae remembers how Hyukjae had brought him to their favourite Italian restaurant that night, saying it was to celebrate something special.

He remembers the tears that ran down his cheeks when Hyukjae bent down on one knee.

He remembers crying so hard when Hyukjae sang the song he had spent three months composing for him.

He remembers when Hyukjae asked the question.

And he remembers when he said yes.

“I love you so much…” Donghae turns to see Hyukjae gazing at him with unshed tears. He feels his heart clench uncomfortably at how often Hyukjae seems to be crying these days, wasn’t he supposed to be the crybaby?

But his own eyes have welled up with tears as well.

“I love you too…”

That night, Donghae stares at their ceiling studded with stars - he smiles when he remembers how he pestered Hyukjae to buy hundreds of glow in the dark stars and paste them on their bedroom ceiling. Only Hyukjae would do these things for him - silly, silly, Hyukjae. He reaches out for the scrapbook, seeing that Hyukjae is fast asleep, although his hand is gripping tightly onto Donghae’s hand.

He thumbs through the pages, smiling at the product they worked on for the past three hours. He traces the edges of all the photos, reads every little description that either he or Hyukjae has written.

He reaches the last page, and he stops.

He tries to hold back his sobs, his hand gripping tighter onto Hyukjae’s. Hyukjae shifts in his sleep, bringing Donghae further into his embrace. Donghae falls asleep crying that night, in Hyukjae’s arms.

You’ve always been there for me, Hae. When no one else listened, only you did. When no one cared, you were the only one who kissed my tears away. You took care of me. Now, let me take care of you, my dear. Everything will be all right. I promise.

4. Let’s recall all the times we spent together, and piece the memories together. Shall we make a scrapbook?