Baekhyun mustered up all his courage - well the courage that wasn't eyeliner - and leaned over. Sadly for him, this was the exact moment the rest of EXO walked in. They  Kyungsoo had made Sehun ramen  (chili ramen!)   Guess what happened!

Let's just say angering a emo Wushu maniac is not good for your general health. Do remember that for next time,  Baek!

After  the unfortunate Byun Baekhyun had been given basic first-aid - thank you healing unicorn Lay - Sehun tried his best to enjoy the yummy noodles whilst being cross questioned by everyone else. It was hard. Never try to eat and be mobbed at the same time, trust me,  it's not going to work out. Unless you're as flexible as some world class gymnast guy (or Kai)

"I still think a restraining order is too harsh! My wrist hurts! Forgive me!" came a whiny eye-liner covered voice from the naughty step. It was completely ignored. As you do.

Sehun finished his food and put the bowl in the sink. He really wanted to watch the new action movie Kris had rented, but he definitely didn't want to put up with his idiot bandmates for three-and-a-half hours. Seriously, how many hours do explosions and CGI aliens merit? Peace and quiet was worth infinitely more than hot action movie guys however, so no film for him. 

He flew through the living room trying to avoid anyone on his way to his bedroom. Thankfully,  he had his own room; even Suho wasn't stupid enough to make him share with someone. Or rather, when they tried to decide who would share with him,  SM refused to let Chanyeol and Kai have a 'pistols at dawn' style shootout. Seeing as how one of them would have died and all that. Sehun still didn't know where the hell they got the guns from...

Collapisng on his bed, Sehun grabbed a pair of headphones. He never listened to EXO's music -  mainly because he remembered how ridiculous he looked in the videos. Rap was good. Kris had kindly given him some english lessons, so now he kind of understood the RATM (Rage Against The Machine) lyrics. The key word here being kind of. As in he basically didn't understand anything. Ah well. He can pretend.

Sehun fell asleep twenty minutes later. Yes, he does snore (though he swears he doesn't) There was a bit of a racket around eleven o'clock, ambulance sirens and the like, though he didn't wake up. He only learnt that Baekhyun had a broken wrist later that morning. As you do.

Three days later, they had a family meeting. Blame Suho. 

"Guys, you have to sit in the trust circle! C'mon!" Luhan raised his hand. Joonmyun shook his head. "Questions later! Trust circle now! Have you got the projector, Chanyeol? No? Awww.... You said you'd have it! The managers sent us an important e-mail! That means 'electronic mail' in case you don't know!"

"Trust me, Leader...we do know."

"Don't be sarcastic Kai! It's not nice, is it?"

"...you are not my father."

"Don't tell lies either! What were you going to say Luhan? You're not sitting in the trust circle."

"I do not want to sit in the trust circle. It's too unmanly for me." 

Sehun snorted. "Since when were you ever manly? You have hello kitty pyjamas!"

"I am so manly!"

"Children, children! Don't fight! Luhan, you have to sit in the trust circle. Sehun, this is not funny."

"WE ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN!" 

Suho brought the e-mail up on his laptop. Everyone settled down as he read aloud.

"I'll cc this to you guys for later...."

Realizing they did not have to sit in a trust circle to read the e-mail, the rest of the group melted away into their rooms. Only a bemused Joonmyun was left. He sighed and began sending his brood angry texts.

Sehun sat on his bed reading the mail. 

To: Kim Joomyun ([email protected])

From: Manager-hyung ([email protected])

Cc: Sehun ([email protected]), Luhan ([email protected]), Lay ([email protected]), Kris or Kevin or Yifan or whatever the hell his real name is ([email protected]), Chanyeol ([email protected]), Baekhyun ([email protected]), Tao ([email protected]), Minseok ([email protected]), Chen ([email protected]), Jongin ([email protected]), Kyungsoo ([email protected])

Subject: Get your act together!

Hi guys,

Can you please explain why Baekhyun has broken his wrist and cannot attend practice for the next two weeks? And why Tao is facing assult charges (which Baekhyun has refused to drop) Also why was Jongin allowed to drive a car? Brief summary: you are screwed.

Sehun has also sent me some twenty-odd angry e-mails complaining about 'abuse of his right to privacy', being 'assulted whilst driving' and someone 'eating all his favorite rice crackers'. Explain. Kyungsoo also sent me a mail about one of you putting a bowl in the sink and not in the dishwasher, which he claims is a personal insult. I am not happy. SORT THIS OUT!!

Love and hugs,

Your manager xx

P.S: Need I remind you that your contracts will be coming up to review in a few weeks?

His manager was a complete and utter git. This meant at least another three family meetings, umpteen pissy letters from SM and Baekhyun sulking for the next half-year. Or more. Probably more, because Baekhyun.

Sehun was never quite sure how long Baek sulked for, but they did get pissy letters from SM and Suho tricked them into a meeting that evening. Everyone was refusing to sit in a trust circle, so the leader ambushed them at dinner. They should have realised something was fishy when he offered to send out for chips. 

"So, children....I was thinking we could discuss the e-mail from our manager?"

They stared at him in horror. Jongin attempted to run off with the chips. Needless to say he was unsuccessful. Tao began to pray.

"I was thinking..."

"Well, I suppose there's a first time for everything." interrupted Chen.

"That was very rude! Anyway, I think we have to get our priorities right. How can we function as a band if we are all chasing after one of our members? We are one!" Yes, he had learnt the speech off by heart.

"If we were one, would that mean that EXO was a one-man-band?...."

"Hyung!" this was Chanyeol, "Lay's spazzing again!"

"Oooh, is he? Unicorns!" Jongdae knew exactly what he was doing.

"Unicorns? Where?" Lay was skipping around being....weird. Again. 

"Jongdae that was a very inappropriate thing to do! To get back on subject, I'm basically banning Sehun from dating inside the band. I'm banning all of you from dating inside the band actually." Suho wiped away a tear.

"Cruel!"

"Unfair!"

"The fandoms said hunhan was reaaaal........................."

"Get off my legs Luhan! Don't be so melodramatic!"

"Yeah, aren't you meant to be manly?"

"Um, Leader!" Kyungsoo raised his hand.

"Yes, soo?" At least one of them was polite.

"Well, why don't we make a competition of it?"

"Great idea!"

"Let's!"

"Sehun, I will conquer your heart!"

Sehun cowered under his bed.

***

This is very different from the foreword OTL Maybe I'll have to change it....

Anyway, I've been made a sempai at my Karate club! Basically I'm helping out more with the little kids :) It's super fun!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter (and sorry about the delay in posting)