Was it actually possible to kill someone over Frozen? Because Kris was giving it a pretty good go. Who knew he hated it that much. Well, maybe absolutely everyone in the room who enjoyed provoking him so much that they were singing 'Let It Go' at the top of their voices. Suho sighed.

It was only a matter of time of time before someone...was terminated with extreme prejudice. Whilst many would probably consider it justifiable homicide (which, frankly, it was) it did not look good if a member of the all-singing, all-dancing boyband EXO was arrested for murder. Though he would love to read that fanfiction.

So he should probably get up, but nah. It was just getting to the good bit. At least if they died he'd be able to hear the film.

Sehun looked round at the carnage that was the living room, and wondered where his barbecue crips were. One had to have priorities in life. He moved the corpses around so he could check under them. Seriously, who'd wanted to watch Frozen anyway?! Oh yeah, Luhan. And Tao. Who had both spent the film in tears. WHAT KIND OF IDIOTIC BANDMATES DID HE HAVE???

Idiotic ones, apparently. Minseok had been crushing his crisps, now they'd be all broken and crumbly asnd not very nice. He felt like Gollum after Bilbo stole the magic ring. Life was no longer worth living. 

"Chanyeol hyung!" after all, Chanyeol was nearest, though he was always broke.

Chanyeol made an indeterminate noise that sounded uncomfortably like 'leave me alone I'm dying and I'm dying and god did you not hear me the first time I'm dying'. Sehun clucked impatiently.

"I wanna go buy crisps." Chanyeol snorted. "Pleeease hyung?" Sehun made his really really cute ageyo face. "Pleeeeease?"

Chanyeol stood up faster than anyone who had ever been attacked by Kris two hours prior had before, ever. "Of course I'll take you! Lead on Macduff!"

Macduff? thought Sehun confusedly. General culture was not his strong point. Ah well. Maybe Macduff was a character in the tennis manga Kyungsoo liked? Or maybe he was in Doraemon? Only god (and the other 6,999,999,999,999,999 people in the world)  knew. He should probably have paid more attention at school.

He put on his earmuffs. Chen had given him a super cute pair for Christmas! They were neon orange with blue hearts and a bright mauve edging. Chen had seemed really suprised when he wore them though... Strange.  They were such lovely earmuffs. Complimented his hair perfectly.

Chanyeol looked at him strangely. "Ummm...maybe lose the earmuffs?" he suggested politely. Sehun shook his head, insinuating very clearly that anyone who stole his earmuffs would die horribly in the neverending pits of hell. Chanyeol sighed and put on some sunglasses.

Once they were out of the house, Sehun noticed many, many people staring at him. He supposed it was just one of the perks of being a world-famous idol, though no-one had ever reacted quite like this before. Chanyeol even seemed to be avoiding his gaze. He noted - with some unease - that this was also the first time that he'd ever worn his earmuffs outside. Not that that could have anything to do with it!

It was pretty bloody freezing outside, so he was glad when the relative warmth of the corner shop beckoned. It was quite an old shop, with one of those little tinny but surprisingly loud bells that rang when you opened the door. As a child, he had stood in the doorway of such shops and rung the bell untill an irate shopkeeper boxed his ears and he was forced to evacuate the premises.

He made a beeline for the section with fizzy drinks and crisps whilst Chanyeol counted the moths in his wallet and wondered how the hell he was gonna pay for all this. Sehun was a heavy-duty shopper. Tao was to blame. 

After grabbing twenty packets of mixed crisps (alternately barbecue, salt, steak or peanut batter stir-fry flavor) Sehun dropped by the magazine rack for some Xbox periodicals, ransacked the candy corner and finally attacked the little shelf with hair dye just before the counter. A stack of miscellaneous objects now obscured his face.

 “That makes $93.05 please sirs,” mumbled the bored gum chewing serveuse whose name tag said ‘Amelia, junior manager’.  It actually read ‘junior manageress’ with the ‘ess’ added in felt-tip.

Chanyeol nearly had a heart attack. He looked from Sehun to ‘Amelia, junior manageress’ back to the foreboding neon numbers that still said $93.05.  Chanyeol fainted, his last recorded words being along the lines of “HOW ING MUCH,” only quieter.

Sehun screamed, the junior manageress chewed gum and practically nothing happened.

•••

Christmas is being very stressful ToT