e

A few weeks later, everything was back to normal.  No-one was chasing Sehun anymore. They enjoyed a nice normal breakfast together before leaving the dorm for their photoshoot. Everyone was very nice and polite to each other. They lived happily ever after. The end.

......

......

...... 

Sorry about that, readers.  Fanfiction was for a moment inexplicably confused with reality. Let's get back to the story!

Two weeks later, Sehun finally emerged from under his bed. He quickly looked around for either rampaging deer, stampeding unicorns or y dragons, but the coast was clear. Relieved, he scurried into the kitchen. 

"There he is!"

"Grab him!"

"What the hell is going on!"

Sadly no-one saw fit to tell him. 

When Suho removed his blindfold, he was tied to the driver's seat of the bus. "Sehun, we need you to drive us to the mall." explained Kyungsoo.

"I refuse!" yelled Sehun loudly, "This is a breach of my human rights, I have been kidnapped - wait, man-napped - and anyway you can all drive!" 

A confused mumbling was then heard from the back of the bus. "Wait, we can drive?" "Do you think he's joking?" and, "Do flowers really grow faster if you talk to them?"

Idiots. Sehun tried to escape from his bonds but it was impossible. He was pretty sure that Jongin had tied him up; he was the only one stupid enough to tie his arms together when he was meant to drive them.  Anyway he just had to sit there as the rest of EXO bickered.

After some time Sehun had started to get cramp - damn you Kim Jongin - and the ruckus in the back was ing. Man that sounds dirty. Ah well. Could be worse.

"We've decided!" yelled Minseok, "We're going to get public transport to the mall! Isn't it exciting!"

Great. Letting them loose on public transport. Why not? Hang on - they were all leaving..... "Guys! Untie me! Please! Guys? Guys?"

Waiting at the bus stop, Suho got them all to sit down so he could count them. "One, two, five, stop moving Chanyeol - did anyone give Yeol sugar? Chen.... Remember the house rules! Seven, ten, eleven. Yup, eleven! Hey - aren't there twelve of us? OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD WE FORGOT SEHUN OHMIGAWD!"

This sent EXO into a panic. Who amongst them would find the inner courage to go rescue their poor imprisoned princess? Ok so maybe they were overreacting.... "I shall rescue him!" declared Luhan with a creepy expression. He would totally win the competition and Sehun's love by doing this! But what if his hair wasn't perfect when he was being heroic? Luhan started flicking his hair about.

"Hey, Sehun-savior! Get on with it!" said Kris impatiently, pushing Luhan into the road. It was a very busy road. Luhan got run over by a bus. He survived, don't worry.

"What happened again?" asked their manager.

"Kris was being a bit of an idiot and knocked Luhan into the road," groveled Suho.

"That doesn't explain why Sehun was tied to the seat of your bus! Where is he anyway? I sent Lay to get him yesterday...."

Right in the middle of the M25 (which probably goes to Bristol but whatever) a large bus was blocking the motorway. When the police later examined the CCTV, they became very confused. Not that it takes much to confuse your average policeman/woman/gender neutral person.

Why, they asked themselves, why wasn't the bus moving when we could see someone in the driver's seat?  Why was there a young man walking around and seemingly drawing random patterns on the windows? And why, why, was someone shouting  loudly;  "Put the goddamn brake back on you idotic unicorn!!!" with three exclamation marks.

Of course the police force then recieved a rather large ....present that caused them to stop looking into the situation. The good men, women and neutral people (ahh political correctness) of the force went back to parking tickets and convicting semi-innocent people.

Suho scheduled another family meeting - luckily Luhan had finally been discharged from hospital, and poor Minnie Mouse had to push our resident princess-in-training around. I would like to point out here that Luhan is most definately a princess (ask Minnie) but compared to Jongin, well.... We all know who the true princess is  (ask Kyungsoo this time)

"Right!" said the leader in his annoying perky voice, "I'm going to take register. Don't argue! We have to because you've all been so troublesome recently." He pouted, and Chanyeol rubbed his back soothingly.

"Ok, Kris or Wufan or Yifan or Kevin or whatever your name is! I don't know what it is seeing as how someone," he looked pointedly at Kris, "wrote The True leader of EXO Shall Take The Power Back on my register instead of his name."

"Yo. I will by the way. Just so you know."

"Don't say 'yo' say 'here' or 'present'.  And I thought you were smarter than the kind of supervillain who tells everyone their evil plans before they actually do something. Sehun dear?"

"I hope that was a cough instead of you saying 'dear' hyung. You know what Lulu's like." Sehun rolled his eyes. "And yes, I am here, I am gracing this room with my presence. Kris, need any help with that burn?" Now he raised his eyebrows.

"You shut up you mother of-"

"Be nice Kris!" Suho huffed cutely, "Tao?"

"......."

"Tao??!"

"....."

"TAO!"

" you, I was meditating! Oh, present."

Kyungsoo ran over to cover Jongin's ears with an undignified eep sound. "That's a dollar in the swear jar!" he said. 

"You gonna make me?" Tao stood up in some kind of weirdly fluid movement (well, he is a wushu master...) and Kyungsoo shrank behind Kris's back. "Help me hyung!" he cried, petrified. Kris ran behind Sehun. "Help me!"

Sehun pointed an elaborately manicured digit towards Chen, who was simultaneously updating his twitter and pissing himself laughing. "Why don't we team up to get the troll?" he pondered badassly (ok, maybe not that badassly seeing as how Sehun is more whiny than badass, but it sounds cool.)

"OHH YAS AWESOME IDEA!' screamed most everyone with the obvious exeptions of Luhan (too injured) Suho (too nice) and Chen (too victimized). Each and every one of them had been wounded at some point by the resident troll's barbed tongue, except Chen himself of course and Suho (way, WAY too oblivious to notice yo) and quite fancied some brutal, bloody and frankly violent REVENGE. Cue anticipatory music (duh duun dun duh dun duuun duuuunnn whistle)

Chen then exited the room like he was being chased by hounds from hell (well Tao, kinda the same thing)  "Come back here! Violence never solved anything guys.... Come on! Please? You can watch Disney movies.... Please!" Suho was panicing. But he shouldn't have worried.

At the mention of Disney movies, all of EXO suddenly materialized out of thin air screaming about Dumbo. As the great Ariel vs. Bambi debate broke out, Suho remembered why he had banned Disney movies in the first place...

****

Sorry bout the long wait guys! This...can be a bit hard to write sometimes. And school's been so bleh.

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