birds. they sing.

he wonders why the birds sang so ever gracefully.

morning air. they're cold, yet warm at the same time.

he wonders why the morning air makes it even more comfortable to tuck into bed.

morning skies. they're beautiful.

he wonders why the skies drew a perfect shade of pink and blue.

lovely.

why does the morning has to be this lovely,

when there's no one on his side to lean on.

"Myeonnie-Hyung, I am so desperate for your love."

He can’t sleep. He’s anxious. He’s desperately in love. And desperately heartbroken.

As much as he wanted to rest, his brain won’t let him. At this ungodly hour, he could only grab his guitar and hum a song.

"   Call it magic, cut me into two,

          And with all your magic, I disappear from view,

And I can't get over, get over you.    "

The slow hums turning louder, and he sings harder and harder. He could only express his broken heart with the song, each chord getting shakier.

His heavy voice and a slow rhythm is the only sound filling the empty dorm. There’s no one except him. Everyone else is having a quality time with their own family and friends back at their hometown. Not that he didn’t, it’s just that he got back early because he doesn’t want to worry his family. He doesn’t want them to know that he’s hurting. He’s alone.

“   I call it magic,

         When I’m with you.   ”

He’s exhausted. Exhausted of trying. Exhausted of hoping. Exhausted of loving.

What could he do? Sehun is no match for him.

He has the courage,

He’s willing to take a huge leap,

He could cheer Joonmyun up within seconds,

He’s everything Joonmyun has ever needed.

As soon as baekhyun told him that his love of life is spending the holiday with the maknae, he knew he had lost. He knew there was something odd between the two. There's something in Joonmyun's eyes when he's looking at Sehun, and vice versa; and it sure isn't a brotherly-love feeling.

If only he knew sooner, maybe, just maybe. He wouldn’t have to suffer from this huge heartbreak.

He's just too blind to see it.

or maybe he just doesn't want to believe it.

Staring at the ecru walls, lying lazily on the silk bed, fingers strumming the guitar strings... He's just facing the reality.

knock knock.

Well, that's odd. Someone is back from their holiday early. Aside from him.

knock knock.

Who the hell comes home at 5:49 AM? And at this point of the day, this weirdo already has the plan to ruin the mood.

knock knock.

Okay, it's starting to get irritating. 'Who is this person and why is he disturbing me from facing the reality?'

“It's not locked. Come in.”

The latter who knocked came in and closed the door. Chanyeol is in huge shock seeing the figure inside his room.

It's no other than Oh Sehun.

“Why are you here?”

The maknae doesn’t let out a single word. He just stands there looking so... guilty?

Chanyeol gets up and sit at the edge of the bed. "Speak. What do you want?" Chanyeol asks again, still confused with the situation.

“Why are you here? What do you need? Talk. If you're here just to irritate me, please walk away. I'm busy,” he adds, sternly.

Sehun takes a step after standing for mere seconds and sits next to Chanyeol, his head hanging low. He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again. Seeing this, Chanyeol knows something is off. Even if he knows Sehun is his opponent, being the good hyung he is, he still asks him,

“Is there anything wrong?”

“Speak to me, Sehun. Let's see if I can help.”

“What is wrong with you?! Talk!” he asks again in a worried tone.

Tired of talking to a mannequin, he ignores the latter and laid once again on his bed. "Whatever. Let me know if you finally decide to talk,” he says as he closed his eyes.

Silence.

one minute...

two minutes...

three minutes...

fo...

“I'm sorry, hyung.”

Chanyeol opened his eyes, surprised at the word coming out from the younger's mouth. After minutes of silence, he’s saying sorry? Is he okay? Maybe Sehun is not feeling well. Maybe it’s from the jet lag. One time he read an article that jet lag could—

“Listen, hyung. I'm sorry for what I've done,” Sehun repeats, bringing Chanyeol back to the reality from whatever he’s thinking.

“I don't understand,” Chanyeol says, still wondering what on earth is happening. Why is he saying sorry?

“Sorry for not telling you the truth,” he adds as he lift his head to see Chanyeol's face.

...

"Sorry for lying about Joonie-hyung,"

So it’s about Joonmyun. Now things are getting even more complicated.

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, but... this competition were all fake."

...

"What?" Chanyeol asks, more like a whisper. He doesn’t understand. He does not want to understand. What’s the meaning of this?

“What is fake?” he repeats, demanding an answer.

 Sehun lets out a heavy sigh. This is harder than he thought.

“Me and Joonie-hyung— we're in a relationship. It's been a year. Hyung, that day when you carried him during the concert, I was so heartbroken. I thought it was obvious that I and Joonie-hyung are dating. Turns out you have no idea, so I... I did wrong to you, hyung.

I was just messing around with you because you're in love with the same man I'm with. I got mad and jealous for that so I lost control, and for the past weeks I let my nerves take control of me.

I'm so sorry, hyung. I’m sorry for messing with your feelings,” Sehun explains, as his worried eyes show Chanyeol that he’s terribly sorry for what he did.

And There goes Chanyeol’s chance with Joonmyun.

After a long explanation and apology, Sehun left the room and went to the living room, hurriedly seeking for a comforting hug from his lover.

Sehun hugged the petite man sitting on the ivory couch. “I am so bad. I am so bad...” Sehun murmurs on Joonmyun's shoulders.

Joonmyun hugs back the younger, tighter than ever. He knows Sehun feels completely guilty and he's going through a hard time. He knows exactly, because Sehun's vulnerable side is showing. 

He likes this. He likes it when Sehun shows him his vulnerable side. It makes him want to protect the maknae. Every piece of him. He wishes he could take all Sehun’s pain away and take control of the problem. But he can’t, because it’s Sehun’s responsibility.

“At first he just stood there on his bed, staring at me as if he wanted to kill me. There was only silence that envelopes us. I knew that he was plain furious about it, but I tried to keep calm and adjusts my breathing.

But then, he inhales a heavy breath, and then letting it out after a while. He looked me in the eye, and said, ‘It only takes a gentleman to say sorry and settle things up. You won, Sehun. You’ve won from the very beggining, but this time, you’ve won as a true gentleman. Congratulations, Sehun,’” the younger explains, tighting his hold on Joonmyun’s waist.

“I asked him, ‘You’re just going to let me go like that? For what I did?’” he continues, letting go of his hold to take a better look of Joonmyun’s face.

“and then he answered, ‘nah, I’ll just take my revenge when you’re not treating him well, that way, I’ll beat the crap out of you.’ As he laughs. You know, the laugh that goes from ear to ear. But I know it’s fake.

And then he added, ‘but that won’t happen, would it?’” he adds again, this time with a tiny smile hanging on his face.

Curious about what happened next, Joonmyun asks him, “and what did you say?”

Sehun places his hand on his lover’s cheek, staring at Joonmyun as if he owns the galaxies in his hand. Not that it’s not true. Joonmyun does own his galaxies in his hand.

“I told him, ‘You know it will never happen.’”

After comforting Sehun, Joonmyun went to find to Chanyeol. That boy needs some serious comfort.

knock knock.

3 seconds after the knock,

“I knew it was you,” the rapper says as he opens the door, surprisingly, with a huge smile.

Joonmyun’s eyes turns into crescents, but his heart hurts knowing that the smile on Chanyeol's face is truly fake. 

“Yeol, you know you don't have to smile all the time. Especially at times like these. It will hurt you even more.” Joonmyun says, as he enters the room.

“Nah, Hyung. It's okay. I'm used to it,” Chanyeol explains, as he sits at the edge of the bed.

Hearing those words pained Joonmyun's heart even more. No one should ever, ever get used to sadness.

He sits next to Chanyeol, taking a moment for a while.

“Yeollie, I...”

“Ssshh. Let me talk first, okay?”

...

He can do nothing but nod.

“It hurts me when Sehun told the truth. It's as if my heart is turning into million pieces, hiding to a place where I won't find it. That time, I was at my breaking point. And it’s only six in the morning!  But I knew it's my fault for seeing it, but not believing it.

Yes, Myeonnie-hyung,I  knew. You guys treat each other more than just in a brotherly-way, and you talk about him like he put stars in the skies. I knew I couldn't compete with Sehun, because he’s everything you ever needed,

But I don't know why, even if I knew I would definitely lose, I wanted to try. My heart is willing to be broken, just for you. I know, I'm helpless, right?”

Hearing this, Joonmyun can only close his eyes. It’s as if someone is kicking his heart so hard, because these words is coming out from his dear dongsaeng. "Chanyeol..."

“No! please listen to me. I'm a sobbing mess now, but I'll be okay. You know why? Because seeing you happy makes me happy. And it's enough for me.

I love you, hyung. I love you in a way where I'll be happy if you are. Even if it's not with me. I love you, hyung. And I'll be okay. You can hold onto that. I promise, hyung. One day, I'll find my own happiness. Please don't let this thing change anything between us. Please, be happy.

It will heal. These pain will heal, trust me. maybe it will take some time. I'll be okay, just not today.

Oh, and, please don't ever lose that smile.”

Joonmyun can’t help but to let out a single tear. How could he not? This dear, loving man in next to him used to smile the brightest and laugh the hardest, but it turns out that he’s the saddest out of them all. This man is his friend, a brother, and now he’s in deep pain because of him.

Maybe it was the birds’ singing.

Maybe it was the morning air.

Maybe it was the beautiful skies.

Whatever the reason is, they just suddenly have the urge to hold each other.

One for an apology for hurting the other’s feeling.

One for an apology for loving the other too much.

Author's note: an update after 5 months!! it's good to be back. sorry for keeping you guys wait:(

This is the last chapterL  I can’t believe this story is ending...

Maybe i’ll post an epilogue+ some bonus chapters if I have the time.

Thank you for reading this fest story:”> i love you guys and hoping you’ll like it!