Joonmyun returns from work with a hangover that he’s had to mask all day. He hates Sehun’s nagging and Sehun’s many “that’s what you get for being a drunk slob!” he shakes his head, fumbling to get his mail. Sehun was right – well Baekhyun was right. Drinking on a Thursday was a ridiculous idea. Joonmyun grabs a handful of junk mail and white envelopes. Mail is always routine but today was different.

A letter from Wu Fan. He thinks he’s still drunk. He closes his eyes, prays that its just his eyes playing tricks on him. He looks down at the letter again.

Wu Fan

He quickly opens the glass door and throws up over the patio. He was really unwell. He throws up two more times before he accepts that this really is a letter from Wu Fan.

“Your boyfriend is throwing up over this patio,” Baekhyun looks out the window.

“Hmmm?” Jongdae turns his head.

“Yeah he’s throwing up again. You should go check up on him,” Baekhyun winces and looks away finally.

“He’s probably still hung over. They were so loud coming home last night.”

“Probably.”

Jongdae gets up and looks over Baekhyun’s shoulder. He sees Joonmyun, blond hair flung over his head and throwing up. He feels bad and he hopes Joonmyun is okay.

“Must’ve drank a lot,” is all he can actually say.

“You would’ve been like that too,” Baekhyun walks away.

“But I didn’t- oh! He’s leaving,” Jongdae says that Baekhyun returns to his side. They watch Joonmyun quickly jump into his car. He thinks about texting Joonmyun, but wasn’t sure if that was something he could even do.

But Joonmyun doesn’t actually drive away. He just sits in his car. And he rests his forehead against the steering wheel.

He sighs.

He doesn’t need to bother Minseok about this right now. He needs to go back inside and decide what he’s going to do about this letter. He doesn’t even really want to read it. He wants to set it on fire with the “I love canada” box he forgot to drop off at goodwill. He pulls the keys out of the ignition.

He sighs again.

He buries his face in his pillow and Byul sits in his little bed. Joonmyun feels heavy, he feels hot, he feels angry, he feels confused.

“Hey everything okay?” he gets a text from Jongdae. JONGDAE! He sits up. What does Jongdae mean is everything okay???

“Yeah I’m okay…what’s up?” Joonmyun replies. He falls back onto his bed, buried in the fluffy pillow.

“Saw you throwing up earlier then just stopped moving in the car lol.”

“Oh yeah just some stupid stuff happening, and recovering from my hangover – not fun at all :c”

“Oh boo, let me know if I can help with anything.”

“thanks Jongdae.”

Jongdae could help Joonmyun with a lot. He wonders if it would be too much to ask Jongdae to come over.

He debates if he wants to open the letter for days. He wished someone would tell him how and what to do with it – well anyone but his friends (Sehun: “READ IT!!!!” Luhan: “BURN IT BURN EVERYTHING!” Minseok: “Take some time to think it over Joonmyunnie, but read it.”)

“Hey,” Joonmyun registers a small squeeze on his shoulder. He looks over and didn’t realize what was actually happening. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah why?” Joonmyun answers. He wasn’t sure why Jongdae would randomly ask so. He been soo engaged in the hunger game movie that Joonmyun didn’t think Jongdae could take his eyes off the TV.

“You seem so out of it lately – not quite like yourself…” Jongdae mumbles the last part.

Oh.

“Yeah I’m okay,” Joonmyun smiles. He’s genuine but not 100 percent himself, “just a lot of stuff with work lately.”

“Oh that . You look really stressed,” Jongdae rubs his shoulder and it felt like what Joonmyun needed most right now.

“Yeah I just need a break,” he exhales.

“You want a beer?” Chanyeol asks.

“Nah I’ll be okay,” He forces a smile so the neighbors don’t suspect anything else.

“Alright if you need anything let us know,” Baekhyun says. Joonmyun was touched by their friendliness. He gives a real smile now.

“Something’s up with him,” Jongdae paces the living room once Joonmyun leaves for the night.

“Like what?” Baekhyun asks.

“I don’t know but I just sense something different about him, like he’s not himself or he’s distracted, really distracted.”

“You really know him don’t you?” Chanyeol snickers.

“That’s besides the point,” Jongdae groans. “I wonder if something happened that night at the bar – oh! Maybe it was that time he was in the car but never drove away! Remember that Baekhyun?”

“Yes I do actually,” Baekhyun was intrigued in what Jongdae had to say now.

“Like why didn’t he go? why did he come back?”

“Hmm that’s true…wait Jongdae,” Baekhyun says. “Don’t even,” he glares now.

“What?” Jongdae stops his pacing, he crosses his arms.

“Jongdae,” Chanyeol says now (pretty sure he’s thinking the same thing as his boyfriend). “I know what you’re gonna do and you better not do it.”

“What? I haven’t done anything!” and he hated how obvious he was that his roommates would know that he had thought of going over to snoop around.

“You don’t have too,” They glare at him.

“Somethings not right though,” Jongdae whines.

“You say that all the time when someone moves in next door,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“This is just like the note thing again,” Chanyeol says.

“This is sooo different from that,” Jongdae says, “This is Joonmyun.”

It ticked him to not know what was bothering Joonmyun, he really wanted to know. He wanted to help Joonmyun, to make him okay again, to make him smile like normal. Jongdae just wanted to hold Joonmyun (if that would help).

He allows Sehun a half day and tries to focus (or so he tells himself). He gets teary eyed in his office, alone. Thinking of Wu Fan and what could’ve been and how that stupid letter is ruining his life, how Wu Fan is ruining his life again.

He stops only when he sees Minseok at the door.

“Let it out,” Minseok makes his way over. He sits on Joonmyun’s desk, close to his side. “What’s wrong? I know you’ve been feeling like all week.”

“I know you know,” Joonmyun chuckles, he wipes at his eyes. He looks up at Minseok, and he loves Minseok. Of course he does – Minseok is just so wonderful in every way.

“What happened?” Minseok asks genuinely. Joonmyun exhales, to brace himself – or Minseok.

“I got a letter from Wu Fan a few days ago.”

Minseok doesn’t say anything for awhile and it worries Joonmyun – well kinda. He knows Minseok was just letting it sink it. He sighs again and Joonmyun feels a weight settle on his chest, as if this upsets Minseok more than it upsets Joonmyun himself.

“And?” Minseok says.

“And….” And what? Joonmyun didn’t know.

“And who cares. If he told you he loved you, would it change your situation right now? If he said he was sorry would it change anything?”

“It…”

“It won’t change anything,” Minseok assures him. “We’ve been through this soo many times with Wu Fan, too many apologies and I love yous. Joonmyun you deserve more than this.”

“I know,” he sniffles and he feels really stupid for crying now, but he knows Minseok would say something like “it’s not dumb that you cried, that’s perfectly fine.” So he doesn’t say it out loud.

“I’m so sorry you had to experience this with him, but you’ve worked so hard to move pass it, why are you putting yourself back there for? You don’t need his apology, you don’t need anything from him.”

“Dammit Minseok,” Joonmyun chuckles embarrassed. “You’re right.”

“It’s okay to cry, you needed to all week.”

“You can tell?” he wipes his eyes.

“I can always tell,” Minseok throw a gummy smile in Joonmyun’s direction. “Come on take the rest of the day off,” Minseok gives him a hug. “You need it.”

“Thanks Minseok,” Joonmyun hugs him back, relived.

Jongdae sneaks over when Baekhyun and Chanyeol are off to work. He makes sure Joonmyun is gone as well. He quickly goes through the walls and enters Joonmyun’s condo – well his (technically its still his condo!). He plays with Byul and heads for the bedroom. But he finds nothing. He comes back and plays with Byul some more and he hits his head on the coffee table. He curses under his breath and rubs the damaged area. He fluffs his hair and curses at the table and that’s when he sees it. The letter. The scribbles of Wu Fan in the top left corner.

He sits there for a while quietly and unsure. But he knew this was why Joonmyun wasn’t himself. The letter was flat, and thin. He didn’t dare to touch it but he knew Joonmyun hadn’t open it yet.

“Oh Byul,” he lays back against the sofa. Byul jumps onto his shoulders, two front legs against Jongdae. He barks and Jongdae on the face. “Kiss your master not me,” he says playfully.

“Jongdae you ,” Baekhyun glares at him.

“Hmm?” Jongdae looks up from his haze.

“You went over didn’t you?” Chanyeol begins now.

“Yeah I did,” Jongdae didn’t feel any better about it (he kinda felt guilty).

“Jongdae I can’t believe you,” Chanyeol was really annoyed, Jongdae knew he would be. “Dude that’s a total invasion of privacy, like what if it was something really bad that had happened?” Chanyeol starts on his lecture. “What if he finds out you knew about it?”

“No you’re right Chanyeol,” Jongdae felt bad. “I shouldn’t have gone over there.”

“Well,” Chanyeol felt a little bit better. “You should’ve listened to me, now excuse me,” he walks away to the bathroom.

“Sooo…” Baekhyun quickly turns to Jongdae. “What was it?”

“Baekhyun you ,” Jongdae puts him in a headlock.

“I want to know too!” He laughs, tickling Jongdae’s side.

“You’re the one giving me crap about it and now you’re being nosey!?” he tightens the hold.

“I was just curious!!!” Baekhyun laughs about it.

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STRESSU!!!!!! sooo stressed lately that's why i haven't been able to update but i hope you guys enjoy this one! also have yall watched the MCM xoxo vid???? it's soooo cute!!! they all looked sooo good in it and it kills me ;alkjsdfaiowes ;lkdjfaiow;ej ;oijf  xo ahaha ^^