Kwanghee automatically hid his blushing face and pretended to be asleep. He didn't know why he was acting like this, why did he find siwan so beautiful. He kept asking himself "Do I love him?".

Siwan was awake, but didn't realize kwanghee was marveling on how beautiful siwan was. He also didn't know that his first kiss was taken by kwanghee. Siwan thought kwanghee was asleep, so he did the same to him. Including the kissing. He stared at kwanghee for a long time and faced the fact that he was in love with him. "but what if kwanghee doesn't love me back?" siwan was somehow sure that he didnt. Siwan was never the one to take the first action, including confessing. He knew he would never have the guts to say I love you to kwanghee. Never. Siwan didnt know if he could stand being just friends to kwanghee for who knew how long? But he had to, he wasn't sure if kwanghee would accept him, but he didn't want to take a chance.

Kwanghee on the other hand, doesn't want to admit that he's gay and loves his best friend. He was afraid Siwan wouldn't accept him. He felt as if in Heaven when Siwan kissed him, he wanted more, but it could wait.

So years went by as friends. They both tried as hard as they could to suppress those feelings. They both wanted love but were afraid of being rejected. At some times they just wanted to scream out their love, but again they kept it away in their heart. It both killed them inside but it was to keep their friendship alive.

-the PRESENT-

Minwoo was pacing back and forth in front of Siwan's room. "What should I say? What should I say?" He kept saying to himself. I think I love you siwan-hyung....that kiss was the best kiss I ever had....Minwoo shaked his head side to side. He was confused, why did Siwan kiss him? When did Minwoo even like Siwan? "No, but I don't think it's love, I'm so confused." Minwoo thought.

It was just a kiss, that's all, that's all, he tried to convince himself. It wasn't the kiss that had an impact on Minwoo, it was the idea of giving up Hyungshik , he just wasn't sure if he could really stand leaving Hyungshik for real. He figured that if Siwan kissed him, that meant that Siwan liked him, and he was ready to move away from Kwanghee. He should just start liking Siwan. He knew that Siwan was different than Hyungshik in so many ways, Minwoo didn't know if he could really love Siwan like he did with Hyungshik.

Minwoo finally gathered his thoughts and barged into Siwan's room. "Minwoo?! " Siwan was suprised to see him. He was so lost in his thoughts about Kwanghee, he almost forgot that he just kissed Minwoo. 

" I need to know if siwan really does love me." Minwoo thought. ..... Minutes passes as minwoo still isn't sure how to put it. "Minwoo what is it?" Siwan asked "Umm...siwan why did you kiss me before?" Siwans expression was just blank and took a while to understand what kiss he was talking about. 

Minwoo inhaled deeply and said quickly "Siwan do you love me?"  Siwan took a long time to think. Do I love Minwoo? The kiss... Now I forgot why I did it...was it revenge or love? Then the memory of kwanghee came back.

The one I love is kwanghee. The one I first kissed is kwanghee. Kwanghee. I love him.

Stop thinking that siwan! He yelled at himself. Kwanghee doesn't love you! Minwoos the one that loves you idiot. "do you love me Minwoo?" siwan finally said something but wasn't the answer Minwoo expected. 

Minwoo didn't love siwan. He truly loved hyungshik. Minwoo loved his laugh, loved everything about hyungshik. But now he is a cheating bastard a stupid . Minwoo loved the old hyungshik.

But the past is the past.

You can't make the old hyungshik come back! He yelled at himself. The old hyungshik would never come back. It was time to move on time to find new love. To start a new life a new chapter.

"Yes siwan I love you"  How could he say that so easily siwan thought. The words I wished could come out of kwanghees mouth. Those beautiful words he wanted so terribly from kwanghee. Why I waited so terribly long for kwanghee, I thought he would truly accept me. But the past is the past. I can never turn back time.

"well..Minwoo I love you too then" siwan replies half heartedly. They both felt no kind of love however. Nothing at all. 

Weeks passed by and both Minwoo and siwan still felt nothing at all. They tried many things together, they went on dates. But nothing was like the first night together at the movies.

 Why are things so different now? Why?  Siwan tried his best to act normal around kwanghee. Everytime he acted lovey dovey with Minwoo he would glance towards kwanghee and see him sad and on the verge of tears. Was he jealous? The kwanghee, jealous? Why? Siwan was confused and didn't understand.