Kang Chae Min

The Split Personality

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Chae Min doesn't know when it'd started. but her trusting issues is slowly growing, making her anxious everytime thinking if she's being cheated or lied. She doesn't like at all, maybe it's a disorder, you know sometimes maybe there's those who need to know that everything is in order or they will be staying up, awake, anxious that everything don't go smooth. yes, it's OCD you might say. Trusting issue is not something new. Her case is quite cliche, not rare but yet it frustrated her. It annoyed every part of her.

Thinking back, maybe it started when she was 11, she's in the 4th grade just then. She's those normal kids who just enjoying their classes like always. She went to meet Sungyeol. They always went home together, the fact that they were both neighbours and childhood friend making them the best among the best friends among their friends. 

She waited on their usual spot which is the bench in the school garden. Chae Min glanced his wristwatch. Weird. Sungyeol's never been this late. She ignored the uneasiness she felt at that time. She could just walked home alone, but thinking that Sungyeol will come here later anf find she's gone made her felt guilty. So, she decided to wait. Waiting for a quite long time, she drift to a nap. 

She regretted it soon because when she woke up, the sky's turning dark. Mom's going to kill me. She hurriedly walked out of the school. Wait, Sungyeol i haven't. Ahh...maybe he went home already. Guilt washed all over herself. She tried to think it's okay but she ran home just to realise that no one has even notice that she was late. Even Sungyeol. 

No. it was too early for the trusting issue to start. Maybe it started when she was in the 6th grade. She was 13. It was quite the worst year in her life. Her family was shattering. The reality just hit her, her parents wasn't in that i-love-you-you-love-me condition. It's long gone. her mom cheated on her father. She felt disgusted with her mom. She's everything to her. Her world, her lfe but then she destroyed it. She felt the worst betrayal. She just hopes that their marriage could be saved although she knew it;s quite impossible. For the past months , arguing, those loud noises, those bicker, those curses, she had enough. She held onto tat little ray of shine and poof, the little ray's gone. 

They divorce. it was hard, really hard to her. Amazingly, her father got the custody and she was pretty grateful for that. She's not ready to face her mom. Not yet. Not after what had she done. Her times after that filled with friends, friends and friends. She had these wide range of friends to held. Thy made her felt loved, felt worthy. And her closest is were Sungyeol, Kyungsoo, Hwa Young and Rye Eun. There were her friends. The others were just those she socialised with. It may be  a bit harsh but it's what she felt at that time. Amongst them, she always liked Kyungsoo. He understood her the way others can't. Soon, Kyungsoo moved and indeed, she did missed him. Chae Min didn't know if it's her imagination or what, everyone seemed so close but distanced at the sam time. Well, the others and her like usual but they were not that close anymore.

People change and there were no exception for Sungyeol, Rye Eun, Hwa Young and Chae Min. Sungyeol was really busy with his tennis and always with that tennis group of him. Rye Eun with her tuition and Hwa Young was so busy seeking attention. Trying to make herself one of the hot stuffs. She could be quite dumb sometimes. While Chae Min just stick in being herself. Nothing much, just being her. Not talking too much, study and appreciating every moment she had. She's one of those kind of girls who're not hots stuffs but not reached the wallflower type. She's living an enjoyable life with her friends. 

Chae Min got home like usual, she was 15 that time. It was dinner time and her father had cooked the meal. "Chae, come, let's eat" She watched her father setting up the table. If mom was here, appa wouldn't be this tired. Just if. "Wahh, seems delicious. i'm hungry. Like soooo hungry" she patted her stomach and her father smiled hearing her daughter. They sit andate with peace and sometimes her father asked her about schools. 

"Kang Chae Min" Her father said. She didn't like this kind of voice. This voice reminded her of the old days when her father telling her about divorcing.

"Waeyo?" She calmly replied.

"You're moving"

"You can't be kidding me. Where?"

"I'm being serious. You're going to Seoul"

"But you're going to, right?" He seemed to swallow his saliva. God, please tell me it's not what I think.

"You're going to your mom" .

"I don't have a mom!" She put the chopsticks away, trying to hold in the rage. The rage, it's burning

"Chae, please. It's her turn. This is law, I'm sorry" His voice hoarse. like he wanted to cry.

"Fine, I'll move but promise, you're going to take me back" Chae min extended her pinky towards him. She knew it was childish but she just wanted to make sure that he promised.

"Of course, dear" 

The dinner was continued. Silence filled up the table.

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"Guys, I'm leaving" Chae Min said in the middle of their chatting. They stopped. Rye Eun looked at him, wide eyes. "Really?! Where?! When?!" Chae Min tried to keep her calm face.

"Seoul. Going to my mother's" She laughed awkwardly but no one's laughing. They looked at each other and Chae Min sat there, clueless. 'Chae Min ah, i have practise. Bye~" Sungyeol, the first one to take his leave and then followed by Hwa Young. then, Rye Eun stood. "Wae, you have something to do too?" Chae Min asked sarcastically. "Uhh...uhh..ye-yea, I need to complete my maths. See you later" she hurriedly took his leave.

Chae Min sat there motionlessly. She laughed suddenly and then tears b her eyes. "My life "

_____________________

Chae Min walked, she wanted to take some fresh air. She walked to the roof. She inhaled the air and spread her arms, enjoying the wind. She dropped he arms when she heard people's voices and followed the voice. 

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US. IT'S CHAE MIN'S PROBLEMS. JUST STEP OUT FROM THIS. ALL OF US, WE NEED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH" Sungyeol's frustrated voice greeted her the moment she's around the corner. Then, there's Rye Eun's voice, frustrated too.

"AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? TELLING HER THAT ALL THIS TIME, WE ARE TIRED OF HER, TIRED OF HER PROBLEMS. THAT SHE'S A BURDEN. THAT WE HAVE OUR OWN PROBLEMS TO TAKE CARE TOO? It'll break her heart, Yeol... She's fragile, and you know that, Yeol........." Her legs becomng weak. She silently gasped. I am a burden after all this time? They're tired of me. Kyungsoo.. I..I need you..

Then, slowly yet painly Hwa Young's statement made she didn't have any guts to stay there anymore, hearing their talks.

"And the fact that she doesn't even knows that Kyungsoo is the son of the man her mother she cheated too"

And Chae Min found herself running. Tears streaming down her cheek and she couldn't care less. She took out her phone and dialled her father's numbers.

"Yes, Chae?"

"Appa... I want to move. Now. Right now, please............." 

________________________

The blood streamed down from her cuts and she looked heartlessly as the red liquid continously came out. She smiled slowly and found herself collapsing to blackness.

She's tired. Too tired of the reality.

 Hey, the first chap is out. How is it? Don't worry, this is just the beginning of her life. Eheheheeheheehehehee //evil smiles//

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