(2/7)

Fix you

"I'm not stupid Kris. I'm a thinker. And thinkers reflect. I hired you because I know I have a problem, of which I myself have no solution to." Kyungsoo was not harsh but fragile and weak. They were in Kyungsoo's living room. The owner was nestled in the sofa, a glass of $300 wine enveloped in his hand. Kris sat opposite, fingers at his chin. Kris was thinking.

"Do you have any idea how this problem came about?" A nervous laughter, fidgeting hands, a sip of wine. Kyungsoo is afraid.

"I have a few notions." Kris waits, he knows he needs to be patient for Kyungsoo to elaborate. He cannot force Kyungsoo.

"My family wasn't perfect."

 

"AHHHH!" 5-year-old Kyungsoo's scream could be heard in a 5 mile radius. The blue and black on his skin already started to form as Kyungsoo cried in pain. They hurt and Kyungsoo can do nothing but cry. The bully in question was Kyungsoo's older brother by two years. He thinks its funny, as he continued pinching Kyungsoo, the reactions he can induce by twisting skin.

"MOMMY! Hyung is pinching me!" Kyungsoo wailed as he tried to find means to end his suffering.

"SHUT UP KYUNGSOO! Stop making so much noise! You're always making so much noise! And Kyungyi! Stop it!"

Kyungsoo flinched at the scolding. He didn't understand why he was in the wrong. Sensing an opportunity at his brother halted movement, he scrambled away and into his room. But not five minutes later, the door opened and in came Kyungsoo's worst enemy. Kyungsoo was trying to read the book in his hand but it didn't take long for a few punches to land on his arm. Kyungsoo hates fighting back. Because he knows that fighting back fuels his brother's need to hit him. Waiting it out stops it faster and creates lesser mess. 

What he did not foresee was his brother punching him right in the nose. The pain was overwhelming, and that induced the water works. He used his right sleeve to wipe away his snot, but when he pulled away his arm was coated in blood. His nose had started bleeding profusely. Kyungsoo was in shock. His brother was in shock. And now both of them were crying.

 

The bullying lasted throughout Kyungsoo's young life and the scoldings by his mom taught him to take the bullying in without making a sound. The hate Kyungsoo had for his brother was unhealthy for a kid at such a young age but how can he not? He never had a good relationship with his brother and it made him stand out against his friends because it seems like he is the only one that hates his brother. 

"Your brother is a jerk." Kris was pissed. No one deserved to be bullied, especially by their own brother.

Kyungsoo did not reply, just took a shuddering breath and sip at his drink. Silence engulf the room as Kyungsoo turn to stare at the window. Pretty snow. Pretty pretty snow.

Kris remained silent as he observed Kyungsoo. The eyes, his eyes were so filled with melancholy. A reserved kind of sadness. One that has already surrendered to what the world presented him. Kris realized, as he looked at the doll before him, that Kyungsoo has given up fighting for his own happiness a long time ago. And he was sure that it was caused by a combination of sad memories, not just one.

 

Kris stayed throughout the holiday weekend. He watched as Kyungsoo breakdown almost everyday, crying himself to sleep. Kyungsoo had told Kris he shouldn't bother, that he liked feeling the sadness. It fills him up, makes him feel full, less lonely. Sadness was his companion since forever, and Kyungsoo basked in the moments with it. It was like Kyungsoo was actively searching for the sadness, dwelling in past memories just to get intoxicated by the pain and hopelessness.

Kris had never gotten a case like Kyungsoo and it was making him feel helpless. This was new. But Kris could not do anything, because he did not now everything yet. Why Kyungsoo cries even when he sleeps, why Kyungsoo could fall into such vast amount of sadness over the weekend. So many questions that needs to be answered, all of which he can't seem to find. All he could do was to be a companion to Kyungsoo.

 

 

Come Monday morning Kyungsoo was back to normal. Kris awoke to the smell of pancakes wafting through his nose, teasing his senses. Saliva pooled in his mouth as he stretched on the couch. Kris mad his way to the tiny dining table that doubled as the Kitchen bench. He groaned in appreciation when Kyungsoo placed a stack of pancakes in front of him, smiling at Kyungsoo. Kris was shock when the smile was reciprocated.

"You're okay now?"

"Yeah. Thanks for staying with me."

"My pleasure."

"You still haven't fix me."

"I know I'm working on it."

Kyungsoo's eye were back to the default state. Kris didn't like it, but at least its better than hollowed out ones.

 

 

Jasmine. Jasmine was Kyungsoo's favorite scent. Its round, smooth and soothing. Nothing too spicy or sweet. That's what Kyungsoo's office constantly smell like. Kris can't help but wrinkle his nose.

"That bout of sadness. Do you know why you get them?" Kris studied the window as the snow continued to fall. Winter will be ending in a month to make way for Spring. There was a rustle of paper before Kyungsoo's answer.

"Trauma, bad things, scarring memories. The usual. Shouldn't you know that already?" Some more rustling of paper.

"Yeah but why the sudden depression? There must be a trigger." The rustling stopped for a moment. Kris could feel Kyungsoo studying his back. He didn't turn around.

"It happens when I'm alone. When there's a break in the routine. When I'm by myself for more than a day. It didn't use so be so fast, the rate I succumb to the pain. But lately it's been getting worse." A drawer slammed shut. Kris continued staring at the window.

"It's an addiction." Kris could see Kyungsoo flinch through the reflection of the glass. He could see Kyungsoo's fist clench. He watched as Kyungsoo took a deep breath.

"That's why you're here Kris. To fix me." Kris looked down, away from the reflection. It was too heartbreaking.

 

 

The club was bustling. It was Friday night and Kris and Kyungsoo thought it was a good idea to club. Between the gargantuan man who can't stop touching his arm and the sweaty stench of humans, Kyungsoo was already regretting his decision. Kris, on the other hand, was having a hell of a time sending suave smiles to his left and right, smirking but not letting anyone come to close to him. His charisma was charming, yet daunting.

They found a space at the bar, miraculously, and ordered their drinks.

"Tell me more about yourself." Kris half yelled into Kyungsoo's ear and had the audacity to look apologetic when Kyungsoo winced.

"What about? You need to learn to be a little more specific Kris." Kyungsoo swirled his scotch and tip it back, drinking everything in a go. The bartender promptly refilled the cup.

"How was school life? What clubs did you join? Were you popular?" Kris was more careful with his drink, the taste of juniper berries pleasant in his mouth.

The conversation when on normally, with them exchanging questions at a steady rate. It didn't take long for Kyungsoo to get drunk and Kris had to pry off the dirty man's hand that found its place permanently on Kyungsoo's arm when Kyungsoo was too tired to move it away.

Stumbling out of the club, they made their way to Kyungsoo's apartment a few blocks down. Kyungsoo was a talkative drunk, much to Kris's delight.

"The only time I cried in school... was when I was a senior." Kyungsoo slurred on Kris's back. Kris had given up trying to make Kyungsoo carry his own weight and had heaved him on his back. Kyungsoo was much heavier than he looked. Kris nodded, urging him on.

"It was one of the last session we had with the debate coach... competition was around the corner and one of my teammates was having a meltdown... Everyone was trying to be understanding, I was too. Trying so hard to be. It took two hours, with every single member of the group both not in the team and those in the team, to comfort her... To give her a little courage. Everyone except me."

Kris shoe clicked against the granite pavement, his slightly labored breathing filling up the gap of silence.

"I was angry... So angry... Yet confuse... Because I wasn't angry at her. I was angry at me. When I saw the amount of people she had around her, the amount of people that was there for her. The emptiness in my chest hurt so much... because... because I realized that I don't have anyone like that. No one was there for me when I was hurting, no one was there to save me. I didn't go to her, whisper her words of encouragement because I was jealous, selfish. I was weak Kris... "

The clack of Kris shoes against the pavement stopped as Kris took it all in. 

"It's okay to cry Kyungsoo, sometimes we cry because we have been strong for too long."

When Kyungsoo didn't answer, Kris turn his head to look at Kyungsoo. The sleeping, tear stained face was enough to break his heart once more.

 

 

The next day, Kyungsoo woke up to a piercing headache, a cup of water, an aspirin and a note that said: I'm here for you.

 

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LeiShiYue
#1
Chapter 1: ...intriguing pace and quite fun to read (sorry, got cut off in previous comment).
LeiShiYue
#2
Probably needs a Chapter 6.5 where Kyungsoo recovers gradually from the shock of discovering that the greatest betrayal in his past was actually false, though it still doesn't excuse the way Jongin generally treated him, and tentatively starts being friends with the latter again. That would probably make it flow more smoothly. Otherwise set at an
apoksea
#3
Chapter 7: Omg... the more i read krisoo the more i love them:-):-):-)
T-araFans #4
Chapter 7: Awh!!! That so sweet amd beautiful...
I really like Krisoo...
Nice update...
Good Job Author...
I hope you can make another Krisoo story...
miyukicheerful #5
Chapter 7: my imagination going wild over the ending.
Aigo-is-Deby
#6
Chapter 7: I hope I won't sound mean but this doesn't seem like the ending for this. I just felt like it's two different stories between the rest of the fic and this ending. I loved your last chapters, it was really fun to read but this seems way too perfect way too fast compared to how you portrayed everyone, Kyungsoo especially, in the last chapters. :/
This was just my pov, good job anyway. ^^
collin12 #7
I hope you update soon! It's really good and I'm being kind of selfish right now but I need an ending! Haha!
T-araFans #8
Chapter 6: Kris...just go to Kyungsoo and confess you love to him...
Nice update...
Please update soon...
keunsuk_ #9
Chapter 5: anticipating an update, cries -