I wanted to ask her for my hand in marriage on this trip. I don’t want to do it while she is still in so much pain. Her life is on hold right now so she can’t make the decision I need her to make. I need her to decide if she can fit me and all my baggage into her life here in America. I won’t be able to live in Chicago. If I move to America I am going to have to relocate to either LA or NYC. Her company has offices in both places. I just don’t know if she would uproot her life for me.

“I don’t want to leave you. I will be in LA next month for a business trip and NYC 2 months after that. Can I send for you?” I ask her. By then she will be moving around more and even working again. “Yes I will come see you in LA and New York. How could I not?” she says kissing me. We spent every night of this month long trip in each other’s arms. I have not been able to make love to her like I wish I could because she is still healing. It is torture for me but I love her too much to hurt her.

The sunlight is playing with the multi-toned strands of her hair as they flow across her pillow. I will be leaving for the airport in an hour. We lay fully dressed on her California king bed face to face her in the shelter of my arms. I could spend every morning of my life just like this and be a happy man. I feel blessed beyond measure because I can call her mine.

“This was not the reunion I had planned for us.” She says running her hand over my chin stubble. I have to remember to shave I probably look like a caveman. “I don’t care about any of that. I am happy to be here with you no matter what we are doing. Whether I am playing nursemaid or Casanova I am happy to be doing it with you.” I tell her honestly. I will be with her in sickness and in health until death do us part. She just doesn’t know that yet.

“It’s time to go isn’t it? That should be the car beeping for us downstairs.” She sighs. I help her out of the bed and we go outside to the waiting car. I had already taken my things that I was bringing back with me down to the foyer so the driver could load them into the car. “Are you sure you want to travel all the way to the airport with me? The trip tired you out so much when we saw Jiyong and the family off 2 weeks ago.” I ask her.

“Yes I do. The only reason I was tired is because we were dealing with 10 thousand questions from the kids. This time it’s just you and me.” She say leaning on me for support as we walk to the car. I love her more every second we are together. I have to keep telling myself that I will see her again in 30 days. 30 days is not that long. You survived 8 months without her when it was only supposed to be 7. That is 226 days!

We kiss goodbye in the terminal before I board the plane. I can’t hold her as tightly as I want to. I can’t kiss her as deeply as my heart yearns to do. All I can do is tell her what I want her to know the most.

“I love you”

“I love you too and I will see you in LA in 30 days.”

“Be safe”

“I will”

“You said that the last time remember?”

“Okay! I Shinay Lawler solemnly swear to stay out of trouble so help me GOD.”

Her left hand is in the air and the other is on her heart like she is saying a pledge. She is the most adorable creature on God’s green earth. I kiss her once more and depart for Korea.