Listening To My Heart

Chapter 6

(Kyuhyun's POV)

It's been two days since I arrived in New York... yet it feels like two years. I miss my Wonnie... so bad. Siwon's the only thing on my mind, day and night. How is he? What has he been doing? Does he even think of me still? Does he miss me? Does he still love me? All those questions kept on bugging me for the last two days. Young Jun Hyung often asked me if I were okay because I've been silent since we left Incheon. Not to forget the fact that I've been crying like a kid in my room all night because I want to be with Siwonnie... to call him.. to hug and kiss him. For the past two nights, I've been staring at his number on my phone, wanting to hit that 'dial' button so bad. But the other side of me won't let me. I have changed my number, so I am clueless of what has happened back in Seoul. For sure, all the members have been trying to get in touch with me. But I plan to call Teukie Hyung later today though, just to let him now I am okay and to ask how's everybody been doing.. especially Wonnie.

My stay here in New York has been comfortable so far. SM has provided me a luxiurious condominium unit in the heart of Manhattan, just near Broadway. The unit is huge... too huge for me. I kept on asking myself if Siwon's father has got something to do with this and if this house was even theirs. I was right. The house that I'm living in is under Siwon's name. At least my manager was honest with me. How could I even forget Siwon now when this house even reminds me of him. There goes my effort in moving on. Nevertheless, I am still thankful for Mr. Choi for this chance. If I get lucky to pass this audition, it'll be another milestone not just for myself but for Super Junior as well.

I wouldn't start practicing for my auditions and my English lessons after a couple of days, so I just hang around at home. Reading and sleeping. I didn't dare go online yet... not ready for what I am to see. I don't wanna cry anymore, I don't want to feel that lingering pain no more. I am not ready to see Siwon yet, not even his pictures. It would just add pain to my injury. My manager keeps on telling me to roam around New York while I still have time, but I just don't feel like it.

I just got up from bed when I heard the doorbell rang.

"Who could it be? No one even knows I am here? Young Jun hyung said he'd be in his room sleeping, catching up with his jet lag." I told myself as I headed for the door only to be surprised to see who my guest was.

"Hi Kyuhyun Oppa."

It was Stella.

"Stella!" I was really startled to find her at my doorstep. I didn't expect Siwon's wife would appear right in front of me this very moment. Does this mean...?

"Oppa, are you not letting me in? Do you really hate me this much?" Stella remarked pouting cutely.

"No, no, no. Please come in, Stella. I'm sorry. I was just..."

"Thinking of Siwon Oppa. If he is here with me in New York?" Stella said as she let herself in and walked straight to the living room. Stella looked back at me. "No, Kyuhyun Oppa. Siwon Oppa is not with me. Have you not heard about my heroic deed yet?" Then she sat down on the couch.

Heroic deed? What is she talking about?

"No, Stella. I haven't. I don't even have the strength yet to go online, let alone call the other members. I changed my number. I am using a U.S. number for now."

"Aaah... That's why Teukie Oppa wanted me to come see you. Figured." Stella nodded as she scanned the room. "Wow. I didn't realize how huge this place is after a long time."

So, she has been here. Okay, there's that stabbing pain again on my chest.

"How are you, Oppa? I mean, how are you coping up?" Stella asked a bit concerned.

"So far, so good. Wait, Stella. What did you do? What was that heroic deed you were talking about?" I had to ask her. I had to know.

Stella looked down and played with her bracelet. "Oh, that." Then, those pretty eyes searched for mine. "Kyuhyun, Oppa. You should have stayed there. You should have not left the party so early. If you did stay, you probably wouldn't be here after all."

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think I am here, Oppa? Why am I here back in New York talking to you face to face right now?"

I lowered my head. "Because Siwon is stupid to end your engagement."

Stella snickered. I furrowed my eyebrows wondering why she did. "Tch. Oppa, wrong answer. I... I was the one who told all those hundreds of guests at that party that I wanted to continue what I've started here in New York. I was the one who admitted to have left someone here in the Big Apple..."

"Stella... What? Why?" I am still not getting this.

"I realized I could never give Siwon Oppa what you gave.. what you are giving all these years, Kyuhyun Oppa. When I saw how you tw