[CONTENTID1]Of Pain and Sacrifice[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

[Siwon"s POV]

The engagement announcement/party did not push through that Friday. Not because my dad changed his mind or it was just a nightmare I dreamt of (how I wish it was) but because I stalled. I asked father to postpone the thing for another week. I told him I had schedule in Super Junior that cannot be delayed. I lied. I just needed some time to be with Kyuhyun a bit longer... I was also having a hard time thinking of how I could break it off with Kyu. God... Those words never crossed my mind since Kyuhyun and I have been together. 

The days were passing by so fast, I knew I have to do this as quickly or as gentle as I can. So my agony started. 

Kyuhyun and I usually spend the weekend either dating, hanging out with Eunhyuk and Donghae hyung, or just stay home and make love the entire day. The last option was the hardest to control. As much as I want to hold Kyuhyun in my arms, I never did since that night of our engagement. I don't want to make it harder for the both of us... Most especially to me. If I hold Kyuhyun, I know I wouldn't be able to let go. 

Kyuhyun noticed this. So when he made the move, it broke my heart.

We were on the couch watching TV that day. My eyes were glued to the screen but I knew Kyuhyun was staring at me the entire time. "Sweetie, you look hot just sitting there watching TV..." Kyuhyun said and scooted near me. He started to wrap his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. Kyuhyun's breath on my skin felt so good. I closed my eyes as he started kissing my jaw then finally landing on my lips. 

Siwon, you idiot. Don't answer back his kisses!

Good thing my head was taking over my heart. When Kyuhyun kissed my lips I opened my eyes and didn't move. He tried to make me kiss him back but I still didn"t. Kyuhyun stared at me with a confused look on his eyes. "Honey, is there something wrong? Are you sick?"

I shook my head. "No. I.. I just don't feel like it." Now that's a first for me. I always found my Kyu irresistable so saying I am not up in loving him would definitely leave a sting in Kyuhyun's heart. I stood up and walked to the kitchen to get a cold water from the fridge. Truth is, I don't want to see the look in his eyes.

"Siwon, do we have a problem?" Kyuhyun's voice turned serious.

"I told you Kyuhyun, we do not."

My phone rang suddenly. Saved by the bell. As if things were really on my side that day. I looked on who the caller was.

Agnes Mo.

Perfect. Kyuhyun hates Agnes. His jealousy shoots up to a hundred percent when I talk about this girl. 

"Hey Agnes! What a pleasant surprise..." I answered with a flirty tone. I wasn't really looking at Kyuhyun but I can see from my peripheral view that his eyes widened when I said Agnes' name. The changing of channels on the TV was also a sign that he is pissed.

"Oh, you'll be in Korea soon? That's great, Agnes. I can finally see you again after such a long time. When are you coming?"

Kyuhyun threw the remote on the couch and stood up. "Siwon... Honey..." He shouted in purpose so Agnes could hear.

"Okay, Agnes. Just call me when you get here. I'll see you then. Miss you. Bye."

Kyuhyun had his hand on his waist. "Miss you?"

"Kyuhyun, I haven't seen the girl for a long time. Besides, you know she's a good friend." My tone was cold. I felt I couldn't do this anymore. I knew I have to keep my distance from Kyu. I have to go out.

I was alerted by my phone's ringtone again.

Stella Kim. 

Lady Luck was really on my side, I guess. Stella was a worse case than Agnes for Kyuhyun. Everyone knows she is my ex-girlfriend so Stella was nothing but a threat to him. Kyuhyun was looking at me the whole time, as if observing all my moves. So when I saw who was calling, I smiled.

"Stella! Hi!" I answered in a jolly and again flirty tone.

"Hey Siwon. My father said your dad already told you the news. So I guess we will end up together in the end anyway, huh, Wonnie..."

Wonnie... It was music to my ears when Kyuhyun calls me by that name. But hearing Stella saying that name reminded me of everything.. How she used to call me Wonnie too and when we talked about marrying each other one day. I guess she was right after all. That gave me the motivation to pretend.. To put myself in this role.

"Yes, Stella. I know now. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Wonnie... And you can also say I am a little excited. Hey, before I forget the reason I called, our parents wanted us to meet later to talk about things."

"Sure, Stella. Why don't we meet in an hour at the coffee shop we used to go to?"

I saw Kyuhyun hold his knees near his chest. I knew he was smoking of jealousy now.

"That would be great Wonnie. I'll see you later. Bye."

Stella already disconnected the line but I went on. "Bye, Stella. Miss ya." ! I am such a great actor.

When I finally ended the call, I heard Kyuhyun say from behind the couch. "So, you'd rather spend time with that than with me."

"Kyuhyun, it's just for coffee. I won't take long. Stella is also my friend you know." 

"Friend my !" Kyuhyun went to our room and slammed the door behind him. 

"There that's better... Go on Kyuhyun. Hate me.. It's better this way... At least I think it is."

It's a good thing I'm still dressed decently to meet Stella, wearing ny striped shirt and Khaki shorts. I decided to leave early so I can drop by the church and pray for guidance. I would also ask for forgiveness for lieing and deceiving the man I love.

====================

[Kyuhyun"s POV]

Wonnie has been avoiding me all week. I don't know why... I am not sure what's going on but since that night he returned from his father's house, Siwon has not been himself.

I shrugged off the times he gave me the cold shoulder or the nights we spent dinner with a one question-one answer conversation. What I won't ignore though was when he resisted me flirting with him.

I never was the type who would make the first move but .. We haven't made love for days, for God's sake! Eversince that night of our engagement, Siwon has never been sweet to me or made a bit of flirticious move on me... And it was unusual. Not that I brag but even just a damp of my fingertips on his skin would give him a wood. Besides, I miss my boyfriend.. I miss my Wonnie so much.

So when I finally did make the move, I got no response. I thought he will at first because I saw him close his eyes when I kissed his neck and felt the goosebumps on his skin. But when I kissed him, I got nothing but steady lips. Siwon's eyes were just open looking at me and not answering back my kisses even if I tried and his lips. Siwon never opens his eyes when we kiss. Not at all, except maybe when he wants to see me or to search my eyes. But him not kissing me like he used to sent a pang of pain in my heart.

So when I asked if there's something wrong or if he was sick, he just said, "Nothing.. No.. I just don't feel like it." I was like, 'WHAT THE !' and then came the worse...

Agnes and Stella called, and Siwon sounded like he was flirting when he talked to them. Great! Just great! I thought feeling so mad, I want to punch Siwon in the face. I just hated these two woman in Siwon's life. Agnes Mo was.. Well, it was obvious this girl has the hots for my man, even if Siwon says they are long time friends. I just don't feel comfortable.

And Stella... Well.. She was Siwon's ex-girlfriend, whom he left because of me. So Stella therefore was a threat to me. Crazy as it may seem because I know Siwon loves me but Stella is and has been my only rival/competitor in Siwon's heart... For me, that is. So when I heard them talking and Siwon sounded excited, I felt blood rushing to my head. Then Siwon told her to meet him at the place they used to frequent to. Now that just ticked me off!

I went inside the bedroom, banging the door after me, and I threw myself on the bed crying. I didn't want Siwon to hear my sobs so I rolled over to lie on my stomach and buried my face on my pillow. Usually, when Siwon and I are in this kind of situation, he would storm right in the room to comfort me. But that didn't happen this time. I heard the door of our apartment close and I knew he left to meet Stella. And so I cried more.. Wailing out loud since I am already alone. 

"What's going on, damn it?! YOU CHOI SIWON!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

I spent the next 15 minutes breaking down, not noticing that the pillow I was holding onto was now dripping wet with my tears. After choking up on those tears, I don't think I would want to be alone in this house. If I bury myself here, all I would imagine of is Siwon and Stella making up for loss time over a cup of coffee, laughing their heart out with Siwon's dimples showing and Stella clinging to him. No! I don't think I can take that the whole day! But then again, I don't wanna talk about this to others without talking to Siwon first. But the silence of this house is killing me!! 

"What the heck?!" I have proven myself in acting through my musicals so I can just act a