Himchan threw his keys on the kitchen counter and cracked his neck. There was so much on his mind, it felt like there wasn't enough time in the day to deal with it all. He didn't want to involve the other members since their lives were going back to normal, so it was just him.

And it was wearing him out.

He paused when he passed the glass cabinet and took a few steps back.

Something was wrong.

He opened the cabinet and frowned when he noticed a few bottles missing. He was pretty sure that all the bottles were there last night when he passed it.

His eyes widened when he noticed that the strongest bottles of liquor were all gone. There was only one other person in the house.

Eun Ah.

.

Himchan ran up the stairs, his feet slamming into the wood as he swung her bedroom door open.  The room stank of stale liquor, even he felt like it was too strong. His heart jolted when he heard Yongguk's voice in the room but he shook his head when he noticed her phone.

She was listening to the voice mail Yongguk left her on loop. Himchan knew because he was the one who told Yongguk to call her.

She was passed out with a few bottles of alcohol laying on the bed. He gingerly moved around the dark room to get a better look at her.

He had been gone for about 4 hours but there were two empty bottles of vodka on the floor and three more bottles of absinth and gin beside her.

He put his hand over her nose and sighed in relief when he felt her steady breaths. He had no idea how the girl was alive after drinking that much.

"Eun Ah. Hey, Eun Ah. Wake the up." Himchan barked as he kicked the bed.

Eun Ah groaned and rolled on her side before clutching her head.  She felt her head spin before nausea creeped up .

She stumble out of bed and pushed Himchan aside to race to the toilet. She leaned over and threw up all the alcohol she had consumed.

It felt like acid was pouring out of .

It hurt so much.

But oddly, it felt good.

It felt good to hurt over something that wasn't Yongguk.

When she was positive that her system was emptied, she flushed the toilet and crawled to the sink where she washed a dozen times.

Sweat formed on her forehead as she leaned back on her , swaying.

"Here." Eun Ah looked over and grabbed the handkerchief from his hand to wipe her forehead. She leaned her head against the cool marble counter. Her eyes slowly peeled open and stared at the piece of cloth in her hand.

"Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe."

Her eyes widened when she recognized the stitching.

"W-where did you get this?"

Himchan's eyes flashed a little, when he heard her speak. Her voice was dry and scratchy but it sounded so good to him.

He hadn't heard her voice in forever.

She never spoke to anyone since the day of the accident.

"Woon gave it to me."

Eun Ah stared it. It was exactly the same as the one she was given from the stranger when she got her tattoo.

It was Woon? He bumped into me on the street? Why didn't he say anything about it?

"What the is wrong you?" He snapped when she zoned out. She blinked out of her daze and scowled at his harsh tone.

"What are you talking about?" She mumbled defensively. She dragged herself up and hobbled back to the bed.

She rubbed her face as her head pounded. She really didn't want to deal with Himchan's y attitude. She could feel herself getting irritated.

Why can't he just leave me alone?

Eun Ah reached for the covers, but her foot caught on one of the stray bottles and she slipped, falling too fast for Himchan to catch her.

She fell on her back, her head hitting the floor.

"!" Himchan raced to her side, helping her back up. She ripped her hand out of his grasp and crawled into bed. The pain just rolled off her back as she suffocated herself under the blankets.

"It's not even noon and you're smashed out of your mind. Do you what you even drank? You could've died!"

"Good." Eun Ah said soullessly.

Himchan scoffed incredulously. "Good? You think it's good if you died?"

"It'd be a lot better than living in my hellhole of a life." Her eyes landed on the faced down photo frame.

"You bloody lucky that Yongguk isn't here to see you acting like a pathetic mess. I doubt he'd want to stay with a girl who can’t even keep it together.  What man would want a girl who spins out of control like you?"

Eun Ah gasped, his words striking her across the face.

How ing dare he.

"Get out of my room."

His eyes widened at her harsh tone. "You need to stop doing this to yourself."

"I don't need you telling me how to deal with the pain. It's my ing life so leave me alone and GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Himchan said softly. "I know you had to deal with mom and dad's death on your own. But we're all going through this together. You aren't alone this time."

Eun Ah didn't answer and reached for a half empty bottle and put it to her lips, chugging it down.  Himchan snarled and ripped her from her grip.

"Stop. You need to stop drinking away the pain because it won't make any of it go away. It won't make him come back. He's gone Eun Ah. He's gone."

Eun Ah's voice trembled in anger, "Stop telling me what to feel. Don't tell me what to do. You don't know anything. You don't know what I'm going through. YOU'RE NOT DAD!"

Himchan snapped, his voice bellowing. "You're my sister! I'm not going to let you rot away. I'M NOT GOING TO WATCH YOU KILL YOURSELF! Yongguk wouldn't want you to be like this."

Eun Ah sneered, "What do you know? He's dead, he'll never get to see what I've become. I don't need to act to make him happy anymore. You want to know why? HE'S DEAD!"

"You think I don't know that? You think I don't wake up every morning and realize that my best friend is gone?" Himchan's voice was a whisper, but his eyes were masked, hidden.

Eun Ah looked away but Himchan kept talking, his voice getting louder. "You need to grow the up and stop moping around like the rest of us are. Life moves on and  you need to as well. Hurting yourself like this isn't going to bring him back."

Eun Ah started trembling. She was getting a migraine, "Just get out. I'm done with this conversation."

Himchan stared at her before he picked up the bottles off her bed and floor and stormed off, slamming her door behind him.

Eun Ah held her head and started sobbing.

She was ruining her relationship with everyone. She couldn't help it, she was angry.

Why is everyone antagonizing me? Why can't they just see it through my eyes? Just leave me alone.

She hated this.

She hated fighting.

Yongguk swung the front door open, fuming as he stormed into their house. He threw his jacket across the living room and whipped his keys on the table as Eun Ah barrelled in after him.

"You're impossible." She spat angrily as she slammed the door behind her.

Yongguk scoffed incredulously and glared across the room at her."Me? You're the one that's spending so much time with that random guy that people think the two of you are engaged."

She groaned in frustration. "Random guy? He's my co-worker, and what's your problem? He's was just being friendly!"

"Friendly? He obviously had other ideas that just being friends with you. But you seem to be so brainless to see that." He boomed, his eyes hardening over.

Eun Ah's eyes widened a fraction. "Brainless, huh? That's a new one."

Yongguk  rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Friends don't touch each other that much."

"What the hell are you talking about? We don't 'touch' each other. And in case you forgot, I'm going to get married. To you." She said while poking him in the chest.

His shoulders sagged, but it wasn't because he was softening. It was like he was giving up. "Are you so sure?"

 She widened her eyes. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Yongguk shrugged but spoke to her with a steady gaze. "You don't have to be with me, I'm not forcing you to stay with me anymore. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If it's such a damn burden, why don't you go off and marry that guy from work?

"What is your problem?" She could feel a headache coming on.

Yongguk snapped. "You! You're my damn problem. Just because I give in to you, it doesn't mean you can take adv