Woobin knew what Jongsuk meant when he was scared he would feel empty. It was the same for Woobin, having spent the entire day together. They had both really enjoyed the day together and it was so good they were both afraid they were imagining it. What they needed was to have someone next to them, for them to be able to process and believe that the entire day wasn’t just a part of their imagination.

They had both cleaned up and freshened up. Woobin had changed into one of Jongsuk’s larger T-shirts and sweatpants, and was sitting on the couch reading a book. Jongsuk was in his pyjamas and sitting in the corner, sorting out and reading through the presents he had received from his fans. They were both in silence, the only sounds coming from Woobin’s flipping of the book and Jongsuk’s flipping of his presents. They were both doing their own things. They didn’t need a conversation to know the other was around. At that point of time, all they needed was to know that the other was around, that everything was real. They had their own agenda and things to be done, but at the same time, they needed the other person around.

Time flew by just like that. They were both tired from the entire day but neither wanted to rest yet. Jongsuk finished reading his last fan letter and packed his gifts and cards neatly in his cupboard, stretching his arms and back as he threw himself onto the couch next to Woobin. Woobin quickly finished up that paragraph and put his book aside, looking up at Jongsuk.

“Aren’t you sleepy?” Jongsuk slouched on the couch and rubbed his eyes.

“Aren’t you?”

“Mmhmm I am. It has been a long day…but I don’t want to sleep…yet.”

“Ditto.”

Silence.

“Thank you.”

“You’ve thanked me a lot already.”

“Still.”

Silence.

“Eh, are you still looking for a girlfriend?” Woobin asked.

“I have never been actively looking for one.”

“But you want to be in love?”

“I don’t know. I felt like I needed to. But right now, I don’t think I need to.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because I have you now.”

Silence.

“Woobin-ah, what does being in love feel like? I haven’t dated in so long I think I might have forgotten how that feels like…”

“I can’t describe it. It’s a weird feeling…but if you love someone, she’ll be top priority. You’ll want the best for her, you will go all out to protect her, you will do anything to make her smile, you will want to take care of her…I don’t know, it’s just a very special feeling…but it’s not only that. It is when that person is the first person you will want to talk to when something good or bad happens, you want to share your happiness and your troubles. You just want to share your life with her. ” Woobin found himself staring at Jongsuk’s profile as he spoke, quickly blinking and turning his gaze away.

Jongsuk looked down and snorted, shaking his head a little. “That feels so distant and foreign…it makes me wonder if I have actually loved before.” He laughed a little and looked up at Woobin, half-jokingly saying, “Right now, you’re probably the closest to that…”

Woobin turned to look at Jongsuk. Jongsuk couldn’t read that expression. There were a lot of emotions in that expression and it was too late into the night for Jongsuk to even want to study that look. He just shrugged and continued, explaining himself “I mean…you are the one person I look for whenever something happens, good or bad. You are the one person I want to share my life with. And I really like being around you…I just automatically go to you all the time…it’s not like I have a lot of other people to go to…”

“Yah, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get what you mean. And you know what, I’ll gladly take up that role, until you get a girlfriend, or just someone who can take care of you.”

Silence.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“I’m nice to everyone.”

“No, really. I mean, I’m such a bad friend.”

“Because you’re a very important friend.”

“You know, at this rate, if you continue being this nice to me, I might end up leeching on you too much.”

“Am I complaining?”

“But one day, you will. And I will have to let go. Woobin, we both know it. There will be one day when you start having your girlfriend, your own family. When that happens, we are still going to be friends, but it won’t be right for me to be looking for you over every small little thing that happens.”

“Maybe that day will never come. And even if it does, I’m never leaving you alone so don’t worry about that. I’m not going to get together with someone who doesn’t allow me to spend time and to care for my best friend.”

“Woobin, don’t do that, don’t. I’ve always needed you more than you needed me and I don’t want to hold you back, from the happiness you deserve.”

“Shut up. You think it only works that way for you? You obviously have no idea how important you are to me. And you know what, you’re the one person I’ll never be able to let go of. Not until I know you’ll be happy.”

Jongsuk was slightly surprised by what he heard. But more than that, he was touched. There was a tingly ticklish feeling inside of him which he couldn’t explain. It definitely wasn’t something that he felt between friends, but neither was it love. He was unsure of what it was, but he liked that feeling. He was strangely comfortable with it. He edged towards Woobin and wrapped his arms around his waist, giving Woobin a tight hug. “I can never thank you enough. For being my friend. For everything.”

Woobin smiled and ruffled Jongsuk’s hair. “Thank you too, for letting me be your friend.”

Jongsuk looked up and smiled softly. “It has been a very long day. Sleep? You can take the bed.”

Woobin nodded and grinned. “Your bed is big enough for both of us eh.”

Jongsuk laughed and shook his head. “Not used to having someone sleeping next to me. I’ll take the couch, really.”

Woobin went into the room and took the bed. Jongsuk threw himself on the couch. Neither slept. They spent the time staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking of the entire day that passed, thinking of how grateful they were for the other. They didn’t know what time it was when they eventually fell asleep.

When Jongsuk woke up the next morning – or afternoon – breakfast was already on the table and there was a post-it note stuck on the table. It was Woobin, of course. It was a note to inform Jongsuk that he had to leave first because of work, and that he didn’t wake Jongsuk up because he was so soundly asleep.

Jongsuk smiled at the note and started on his breakfast. It had already turned cold, but Jongsuk didn’t really mind. He was too lazy to get any other food anyway. He grabbed his phone and texted Woobin. “Thanks for breakfast. Let me know when you’re free. Treat you to dinner soon.”

“Dinner? Sure, will let you know. I hope you aren’t cooking though.”

“…I can cook..”

“Yeah, you can. Ramyeon.”

“What’s wrong with ramyeon??”

“Everything”

“…but you like it.”

“You think?”

Woobin was smiling at his phone as they exchanged texts. In fact, he had been smiling a lot recently, and was a lot more motivated at work. Not that he usually wasn’t already, but recently, he had a lot more drive and looked like he was constantly recharged. The staff on set had noticed it too, and they had wondered what it was that made him like that, some speculating that it might be that he had a new girlfriend. His manager had noticed it as well, and he guessed that it might be Jongsuk. After all, it happened after their Beijing trip. Although he was glad that Woobin was a lot more energized and recharged, and it wasn’t like Woobin had neglected his work, but he didn’t fancy the idea that it was because of Jongsuk, especially since the staff were speculating that it might be because Woobin was in love. He didn’t like to think what could happen if they figured that Jongsuk was the person they thought Woobin was “in love with”.

Of course, Woobin wasn’t oblivious to what was going on around him. He just decided to ignore it. He didn’t mind providing the staff with something to gossip about, especially since it wasn’t anything majorly bad. He also knew what his manager was thinking, and he understood his concern, and he decided he needed to talk to his manager about it to clear his stance. He knew it was for the better for Jongsuk that he did that.

“Hyung, I need to talk to you about Jongsuk.” He finally found some time on the van as they were moving between destinations.

“Yeah, I need to talk to you too.”

“Hyung, I know what you are thinking. I know it’s for my good that you don’t want us to become too close. I know, post School 2013 era, every article about me, Jongsuk would be mentioned, and it wasn’t beneficial for me. And you are scared it will happen again. And that gay rumours will arise. I know there are a lot of things you are worried about, and I can understand them. But hyung, it is different now. Those rumours only arose because we had a lot of work together and when they saw one of us, they will see the other. But it’s not like that now, we don’t even work together anymore.”

“That’s what you think, Woobin. The industry isn’t that straightforward. I know he is a very important friend to you, that you even appeared at his fanmeet. I’m not asking you to stop being friends with him, but it really could be harmful to your career if you guys became too close. Don’t you think you are starting to care a little too much for him?”

“Hyung, I don’t want to sacrifice our friendship for my career. I promise I’ll be careful that no bad rumours or anything negative will arise from our friendship. I don’t want to end up keeping my distance from him again. It isn’t right for me to do that, it really isn’t. And hyung, can you promise me, no matter what happens, don’t release any articles that could harm his career? It’s not only about me…”

“Woobin-ah…”

“Hyung, please?”

His manager sighed. “I never had to worry about you. I’m going to trust you this time round but know where to draw the line…and Woobin, I don’t just mean your friendship in front of the camera…I won’t intentionally do anything to harm him, you can trust me on that.”

“Draw the line…” Woobin repeated his words. What line? There was a voice inside of him which was telling him exactly what his manager meant, but he didn’t want to hear it. Why would he need to draw a line? Why should their friendship have a boundary? And who is to define what this boundary is?