“Jongsuk,” the familiar voice sounded from behind him. Jongsuk swallowed dryly and shut his eyes tight, before letting out a nervous sigh as the owner of the voice approached and stood beside him, leaning against the railings.

Jongsuk didn’t turn to look, neither did he move. He remained quiet as he waited for the other to say something. He knew it was coming, and that there was no way out of it.

“H-how have you been..?” The taller boy mumbled nervously. It was evident from the tremble in his voice that he too was afraid. It wasn’t very often that Jongsuk heard Woobin speak in this tone. No matter when, Woobin had always appeared very confident.

Jongsuk didn’t reply. Even if he knew what was coming, he hadn’t thought of how he should best react, and the only he think he could do was to keep quiet. After all, it wasn’t the best location for them to be talking things out.

“I…I’m sorry.”

Jongsuk took in a shaky breath. “Why are you apologizing again?”

Woobin looked down, shaking his head, not wanting to say more. Neither did he know what to say. It wasn’t a very suitable setting for them to sort things out.

In face of this awkward silence, Jongsuk pushed himself away from the railing, turning to walk away and mumbling a lame reason to excuse himself. “I’ll go back in first. It’s a little chilly here.”

“Jongsuk, wait.” Woobin said, still staring into the night sky. “Can we meet after this event ends?”

“I don’t think that would be good,” Jongsuk said, stopping in his tracks for a brief moment before disappearing into the crowd in the room.

Woobin sighed, a tear uselessly escaping his left eye. He quickly rubbed it off his face, looking down and forcing a weak smile on his face. He didn’t want that to be the end between the both of them. Even if they couldn’t be together as lovers, he didn’t want to lose a friend like Jongsuk. But yet, that seemed to be the way things were heading.

Woobin spent a while more trying to clear his head before returning into the room where the buzz was at. He found a quiet spot at the corner, his eyes quietly scanning the crowd, his gaze uncontrollably landing on Jongsuk.

Woobin quietly watched the younger boy greeting the VIPs and management. He watched as the boy plastered his professional smile on his face. His heart ached for the boy, whom he knew wasn’t in the least comfortable. More than anything, he cursed himself for having caused that pain.

Woobin just quietly watched. No matter how hard he tried to shift his gaze away from that boy, that boy never seemed to be able to escape his eyes. Even as Jongsuk was making his leave from the venue, Woobin was quietly watching. As he watched Jongsuk’s back view become smaller, he bit hard on his lips, clenching his fists as he controlled his tears from falling.

When Jongsuk eventually disappeared from his sight, Woobin couldn’t hold back anymore. He needed to talk to Jongsuk. He wasn’t sure what to talk about, but his body moved faster than his head did, and by the time he realized it, he had ran out of the venue and was running to the car park, silently praying that Jongsuk hadn’t gone far.

When he finally found Jongsuk, the other boy was just getting into the car, ready to leave. Woobin ran as fast as he could, stopping in front of the car, which came to a screeching halt with only a few millimetres of distance between the car and Woobin.

Jongsuk looked up, eyes widening in shock and fear. When he regained his composure, he quickly got out of the car, screaming as he went over to Woobin’s side, checking to see if he was fine, “YAH. What the do you think you are doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?!”

Woobin smiled weakly, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t kill me. And I guess I wouldn’t mind dying in your hands. Since it’s you.”

“God, you are crazy.”

“I am.”

“What do you want?”

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to.”

Woobin took one step closer to Jongsuk. Jongsuk took two steps back.

“Jongsuk, please.”

“I said I don’t want—“ He cut himself off halfway when he heard footsteps entering the car park. They weren’t in a situation which he wanted to be caught by anyone else.

He hurriedly got into the driver seat and signalled for Woobin to get into the car as well, but even before Woobin could get into the car, Jongsuk started the engine and drove off, leaving a helpless Woobin behind.

Jongsuk watched Woobin in his rear mirror. The look of helplessness and desperation on Woobin’s face was really hard to watch.

As he drove off, he tried to erase the image of a helpless Woobin from his mind, but it just kept coming back to him, tugging on his heart.

Two traffic lights away, Jongsuk couldn’t take it anymore. With a resigned sigh, he made a quick u-turn and returned to venue. He felt really guilty for leaving Woobin there like that. No matter how awkward it was between them right now, that wasn’t the way to treat anyone.

Jongsuk wasn’t sure Woobin would still be there, and he did feel slightly disappointed when he didn’t see anyone at the spot they were at just now. It was only when he started driving out of the carpark again did he see Woobin’s car parked nicely at a corner, and the owner sitting in the car, his head rested against the steering wheel.

Jongsuk hesitated, before he eventually stopped his car, getting out of it and went up to knock against Woobin’s car window.

Upon the soft knock against his window, Woobin looked up. A surprised look formed on his originally tired face. He quickly got out of his car.

“I’m sorry…for just now. I was a bastard.”

Woobin shook his head, saying apprehensively. “C-can we…talk?”

“Why are you so insistent?” Jongsuk asked, even if he knew the answer.

“Because—“

“Never mind. We can’t talk here, not in the public. Come over to—no, let’s go to your place.”

Woobin nodded. “I’ll see you there in a bit then.”

Jongsuk drove as slowly as he could to Woobin’s apartment. What would usually have taken only 20 minutes, Jongsuk took a whole hour to get there. Woobin sat on his couch, watching the door intently. He was confident that Jongsuk would ultimately appear.

The door wasn’t locked when Jongsuk arrived, but he still knocked and waited for Woobin to open the door to let him in. The both of them silently walked to the couch and sat down in silence.

“What do you want to talk about?” Jongsuk broke the silence.

“How…have you been?” That was all Woobin could master.

“What do you want me to say? That I’ve been good? Or that I haven’t been good?” Jongsuk said coldly.

“Jongsuk, I need to know how you are feeling. I need you to tell me, so that I know what to do, so that everything will be fine between the both of us.”

“I don’t feel anything. You don’t need to do anything. That’s all.”

“Yah. You’re not the one that’s going through right now.” Woobin said, frustrated with Jongsuk’s unwillingness to talk.

“I know. That’s why I have been avoiding you. But you’re the one who wants to talk. I said I didn’t want to.”

“God, Lee Jongsuk. Stop it.”

“Stop what?!”

“Stop being so stubborn. Stop being a kid. ing hell, stop avoiding me. Can’t we deal with this like adults?”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m so childish. I’m so sorry you have to deal with a kid like me. You really don’t have to. I guess I’ll just leave.” Jongsuk said, getting up and heading to the door.

“YAH. Lee Jongsuk. You know leaving isn’t going to solve the problem.” Woobin stated. Jongsuk stopped in his tracks.

“Why not? If I don’t see you and you don’t see me, then where’s the problem?”

“Am I really worth nothing to you? That you can just let me go like that?”

Jongsuk wished he could say yes, that he could say that and just leave. But he couldn’t.

“Maybe you are,” he weakly managed.

“Look at me in my eyes and tell me.” Woobin said, grabbing Jongsuk and turning him around to face him. “Look at me in my eyes and tell me, that you don’t need me. That you can just let me go like that, and that I’m not important at all, not even as a friend. If you can tell me that, I’ll take it that I’ve been stupid all along and never bother you again.”

Jongsuk looked at Woobin in his eyes, tears welling up in his eyes. He tried his best to control them from falling. His lips quiver as he tried to speak, but no words comes out.

“You can’t say it, you know you can’t. Jongsuk please, let’s talk it through, let’s work it all out. Together. I am sorry I took it one step further, I’m sorry I couldn’t just leave it and pretend it was nothing. I’m sorry I didn’t think through it, that I didn’t realize that I could have upset the balance and that I could possibly lose you completely. I’m sorry.”

“Shut up. Stop apologizing. It was me who asked you what we were. It was me who couldn’t hold it back. It was me, who didn’t know what to do with what I was feeling.”

“Jongsuk, please, let’s work this out, together…”

“How? We can’t take a step back anymore. I can’t pretend nothing happened. Why can’t you just let me be? You said you needed time to clean up those feelings, and so do I. Why couldn’t you have just given both of us time to clean them up? And then after that, we could go back to being friends again.”

“Because I’m scared. I was suddenly scared that we would completely lose contact and that you would completely walk out from my life. I was scared that if these feelings don’t go, I would lose you completely. I already upset the balance, and now we need to find it back. It isn’t something that we can do separately. I’m sorry for--“

“I said, stop apologizing.”

“If we can’t take a step back, what about we take a step forward?” The words which spilled past Woobin’s lips had left Jongsuk in shock. It wasn’t just Jongsuk though, Woobin never thought that he would