The two boys were both puffy-eyed and tired from all the crying that night, but neither really wanted to move from the couch, where they were comfortably leaning against each other. Perhaps, they were afraid that any movement they made would cause the warmth they were receiving from the other to disappear. Perhaps, they were afraid that this was again, a figment of their imagination, stemming from the suppressed longing they had for each other.

They both knew that there were still a lot to sort out, but neither knew if that was the correct time for any discussion at all. Neither dared to speak a word. They were both lost in their own thoughts, eyes shut tight, pretty sure the other too was trying to make sense out of all of this.

Jongsuk was beginning to waver again. He wasn’t really sure that the warmth that he was feeling from Woobin really was something he could afford to have. He was still scared, definitely was.

It was as if Woobin knew exactly what he was thinking. Maybe Jongsuk had flinched, he just didn’t realize it. But the moment Jongsuk began wavering, Woobin had taken Jongsuk’s hand in his.

Feeling Woobin’s hand around his, Jongsuk slowly opened his eyes. As he turned his head slightly to glance over at Woobin, who still had his eyes closed and a stern expression plastered on his face, Jongsuk felt a small but reassuring squeeze on his hand. This small gesture from Woobin had resulted in a weak smile forming on Jongsuk’s lips.

“Woobin…?” Jongsuk whispered uncertainly, his eyes fixed on the other’s face. Maybe, what he couldn’t sort out on his own, the other could help. After all, Woobin was the smarter of the two.

“Mmm...” His eyes still shut.

“Wh-where do we go from here…?” Jongsuk mumbled, even softer than before.

Silence.

Woobin slowly opened his eyes, adjusting himself a little and looking Jongsuk in his eyes.

“Where do you think we should go?”

“What do you think are the chances of us…returning back to just being friends? To how things were, before…everything? If we both try…without avoiding each other?” Jongsuk asked timidly.

“At the end of all of this, is that still what you want?”

Jongsuk shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want. And it isn’t just about me. It isn’t about what I want. It’s about what /we/ want. Woobin-ah, this is about…us.” He swallowed dryly and looked up at Woobin. “I’m…scared.”

“I get why you are scared. I am too. It isn’t all that simple, with our careers, family and all---“

“It’s not just that,” Jongsuk cut Woobin off. “Sure, I’m scared of that. There are so many things at stake, but more than all of that, I’m scared of losing you. Because if we do become a couple, or whatever it is called, then there is a rather high chance that I’d lose you because we break up. Because what if one day we decide perhaps that isn’t the way things should be? I’d lose you completely. That’s worse than if we never started at all. Because what if…starting is ultimately just a route to losing you completely?”

“So you think it’s safer if we just remained friends?”

Jongsuk nodded. “But…is that still possible? We tried it, didn’t we? Because if going back to just being friends means that I’d lose you too, then I don’t want it either…”

“Honestly, I did think about it too. I thought it would be nice if we gave it a try but I too am not sure if we are both ready for what is to come. Going back to being friends seems like the better option, for now. The last time we tried going back, we were doing it alone. This time, we aren’t. We have each other. Promise me, whatever it is, we’ll be facing it together.”

“Am I very selfish to want that?”

Woobin shook his head slowly, giving Jongsuk a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. Just whenever you feel like giving up and letting everything go, don’t do it. Also, trust me on this, as much as you don’t want to lose me, I don’t want to lose you either. So…whatever it is, let’s never let go of each other…? It isn’t going to be easy, but let’s just do this together, shall we?”

Jongsuk blinked slowly, nodding firmly, his hand turning in Woobin’s and interlaced their finger together. “Just for today though, Woobin, can we…”

Jongsuk couldn’t finish his sentence. Woobin didn’t need him to finish it. He was already off the couch, pulling Jongsuk along with him into the bedroom. He lied down on the bed, signalling for Jongsuk to join him. Jongsuk smiled, climbing onto the bed and immediately snuggling close to Woobin’s body, making himself comfortable against Woobin’s chest. Woobin wrapped his arms around Jongsuk, spooning him close to his body.

“Just for today, Lee Jongsuk, I love you…” Woobin mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on Jongsuk’s forehead before he buried his face in the other’s hair.

Jongsuk doesn’t respond, except he shifted even closer to Woobin, his hand grabbing and holding on tightly to Woobin’s shirt.

They ultimately fell asleep in that position. Maybe it was because waking up meant that they had to go back to becoming friends again, so neither of them really wanted to wake up and they both ended up sleeping past 3pm.

Ultimately, it was Woobin who stirred awake first. He smiled, looking at Jongsuk’s peaceful face in front of his eyes. He never thought that seeing Jongsuk’s face the first thing in the morning could be such a blissful thing. He wanted to remain in that position a little longer, but he didn’t want it to be awkward for Jongsuk when he woke up, so he tried as carefully as he could to move away.

But with each move Woobin made, Jongsuk just inched closer, whining at the loss of the warmth and tightening his grab on Woobin’ shirt.

“Yah, that isn’t the way to do it,” Woobin laughed bitterly, muttering under his breath. “You’re cheating.”

Woobin leaned in to give Jongsuk a light kiss on his nose bridge before prying his hand away and rolling off the bed.

Without the warmth from Woobin’s body, it didn’t take long before Jongsuk stirred awake too. He hadn’t had such a good sleep in quite a while, but he wasn’t going to admit that it was because of Woobin, at least not now.

Jongsuk sat in the room for a bit more, adjusting his mindset before leaving the room to where he knew Woobin was. “Friends, that’s what we are. Friends, that’s all we can ever be.”

As Jongsuk left the bedroom and joined Woobin in the kitchen, where he was busy heating up some food in the microwave, the mood was inevitably awkward. It wasn’t that they hadn’t expected it to be, but they both needed some time to really adjust to it.

Jongsuk hated the awkwardness. His face flushed red and he rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat a little. “U-uh…hey. I think I should go. It’s kind of late…”

“Have breakfast…I mean lunch…I mean, whatever, eat something first before you go…” Woobin replied, not really making eye contact with the other.

“Uhh, it’s fine, really…”

“Yah, whatever happened to no avoiding?”

“I’m not avoiding!!!! B-but…it’s awkward!!!!!” Jongsuk whined, scrunching his nose a little. “I hate awkward.”

“Like you are the only one. And wow, thanks, you just made it more awkward than it already was.” Woobin snorted, taking the food out from the microwave and setting it on the table. He gave Jongsuk a stern glare, and Jongsuk knew it meant that he had better listen. “Eat.”

Jongsuk whined, muttering under his breath complaints about Woobin being scary, but complying and sitting down by the table anyway. “Woobin is so mean and scary. Those people who say he is nice must be blinded. And it’s not like he is feeding me anything nice. It’s just microwaved food.”

“Yah. Shut up and stop complaining.” Woobin made a face at the other boy, giving his leg a light kick and pulling the food away from Jongsuk. “Forget it if you don’t want to eat.”

“Yah! Who said anything about not eating?” Jongsuk’s eyes widened, snatching the plate of food back. “And who was the one who insisted I finish eating before leaving?”

Woobin rolled his eyes, his lips breaking into a grin as he looked back up at Jongsuk, who now had a victorious look plastered on his face. Their gazes met. For the first time that day, neither avoided the other. For the first time that day, they just allowed themselves to look the other straight in the eye.

Maybe, it wasn’t that difficult after all. Maybe, all that problems they thought they had were just problems they made up themselves. Maybe, those really weren’t problems at all.

During that brief conversation they just had, there wasn’t a problem of what sort of a relationship were they in. There wasn’t a problem of trying to overcome whatever romantic feelings they had for each other. There wasn’t a problem of whether hey were friends or more. During that short period of time, it was just a matter of Jongsuk and Woobin.

That moment of eye contact didn’t last long though. Looking straight into the earnest and sincere eyes in front of him, Jongsuk felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn’t going to allow himself to get trapped into that emotion of longing. He knew that h He quickly cleared his throat and looked away, his food suddenly looking way more interesting.

Watching Jongsuk’s reaction, Woobin could guess what was going through Jongsuk’s mind. The grin on his face faded as he too turned back to his food, eating silently in awkwardness. He wasn’t sure if it was the food itself or the mood, but it was perhaps one of the worst meals he has had in a really long time.

Jongsuk finished up his food really quickly, a lot faster than he normally would have. He silently cleaned up his utensils and disposed of the waste, before giving Woobin a quick glance. “U-uhh…thanks for the food. I guess I really should go.”

As much as Woobin wanted Jongsuk to stay for just a little longer, he wasn’t sure that that was the right thing to do now. “Mmm…okay. Be safe. I don’t think you are going to allow me to send you back, so uhh, yeah, text me when you get back.”

“Tsk, why do I have to text you when I get back? It’s not like I’m your-- “ Jongsuk blurted out, stopping himself just before he could say ‘boyfriend’. He knew that Woobin didn’t mean it that way, but Jongsuk had always felt that texting to inform that he is safely home is something couples do. He cursed himself silently for having blurted that out. “I mean, ah, yeah, sure, I’m going.”

“Mmm, yeah..see you soon?”

“Mmm, see you~!” Jongsuk forced a smile and hurriedly left the house.

Woobin let out a deep sigh as he watched the door close, mumbling to himself, “Yah, stupid. Friends can text to let each other know they are safe too. It’s not like we didn’t do that before. Or is that not allowed now too?”

A/N: Sorry the update took so long, I was away and couldn't really write much. The next chapter probably would be soon I think.

I'm not sure but it kinda feels like the story hasn't been making much progress, but it's because I really haven't decided what kind of an ending I want to have so bear with it for now.