It was one of those nights. Jongsuk tossed and turned in bed, closing his eyes as he desperately tried to put himself to sleep. His eyes had already accustomed to the darkness of the room, and he wished that it could become even darker just so he could get to sleep. He looked at the clock on the wall. 3a.m. It had been 2 hours since he got into bed, but he only became more and more awake. He pulled the blanket over his head, but the heat got to him too quickly he crawled out of it almost immediately.

“, I give up.” He muttered and kicked his blanket away. He got out of bed, annoyed, and dragged his feet to the living room, throwing himself on the couch and lit a cigarette stick as he took a glance at the scripts strewn all over the table, as if they were shouting at him to pick them up and consider them for his next project.

Jongsuk didn’t deal with having rest time very well. He had always wanted to rest, but at the same time, he was afraid of resting. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to pick up his momentum again once he rested. For the first time in two years, he finally had some time off from his never ending projects. He finally has the time to rest, but yet he’s unable to. He didn’t get sleepless nights very often – of course, that is only when he is actually given time to sleep – but the past few days had been pretty bad.

He sighed and picked up a piece of script from the table, mindlessly flipping through it but threw it back onto the table after a minute or so, restless. He switched on the television and surfed the channels, but was uninterested in anything that was showing. He picked up the DVD of his favourite drama, putting it in and letting it play. This usually did the trick of keeping his mind occupied. But that night, it just didn’t feel right. It could have been due to the fact that he hadn’t been sleeping well the past few nights, but that night felt exceptionally long and Jongsuk was slowly engulfed by loneliness. Jongsuk didn’t usually mind being alone. In fact, he really enjoyed having alone time, but for the first time in a long while, he wished there was someone next to him.

He reached to pick up his phone, scrolling through his contact list, wondering if there was anyone he could ring up at this hour. He scrolled through the entire list, his finger ending at a particular name on the phone. Kim Woobin. Jongsuk stared hard at the name on the phone that was screaming and calling out to him. Woobin. He didn’t want to call Woobin, but without actually realizing it, he had already pressed on the call button and was biting hard on his lip and holding his breath.

On the second ring, before anyone even had the time to pick up the phone, Jongsuk quickly hung up the phone and threw it aside. “Damn it.” He cursed himself silently as he leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and trying to clear his mind. He took in a couple of deep breaths, his eyes jolting open when he heard his phone ring. He wasn’t expecting a return call, he definitely wasn’t. Maybe it was someone else. Jongsuk lied to himself as he picked up his phone again. He looked down at the name on the phone – Kim Woobin. He swallowed hard, contemplating whether or not he should pick up the phone. He hoped Woobin would end the call soon, but the call never ended. He took in a deep breath and answered. After all, he was the one who initiated the call.

“Hey, you called?” Woobin.

“Umm…yeah. Thought you were asleep.” Jongsuk. He threaded his fingers through his hair, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Just ended work, what’s up?”

“Ah, nothing much. Just...couldn’t sleep and needed to talk to someone.” Jongsuk thought of making up an excuse, but decided against it. Lying was never his forte, and he knew Woobin would hear through any lie straight away. “Plus we haven’t talked in quite a while…” Jongsuk muttered.

Woobin let out a low chuckle, which sounded crisp and clear in Jongsuk’s ear.

“Yah, what’s so funny?!”

“Mmm, nothing. Want to hang out for a bit?”

“Aren’t you tired? You sure you don’t need to rest?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Anyway, I’ve got tomorrow off. You said you couldn’t sleep? Just get your out of your house and come meet me. We haven’t seen each other in a while, I missed you.”

 “Yeah right.” Jongsuk snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you in a bit then. Text me the address of wherever you want to meet.”

He hung up and sighed, getting up to change into a casual but presentable outfit. What the hell, Jongsuk, what the hell. There was no way he could get out of this, and he knew he shouldn’t. Not when he was the one who started it, kind of. He checked his text and drove off to said address.

Woobin was already in the café, sitting at a table in the corner and drinking a cup of coffee. He signalled to Jongsuk when he saw him enter through the door. Jongsuk acknowledged with his chin and walked towards the table. He was slightly surprised when he noticed that there was a cup of iced latte sitting on the table, in front of where he would be seated.

“Iced latte.” Woobin smiled and pointed to the drink.

“Thanks…” Jongsuk returned the smile.

“Why, you look surprised.”

“I am…I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“Wha-what?! Do you honestly think I’m that bad a friend?!” Woobin, a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

“Maybe?”

Woobin rolled his eyes and shrugged. “You’ve been busy?”

Jongsuk nodded. “Pretty much. But I’ve got some time off these couple of weeks.”

“Ah, that’s why you can’t sleep eh? You never ever rest when you are given the time to.” Woobin said, laughing a little.

“Tsk, funny huh?”

Woobin grinned and nodded. “It is. It’s funny how you’re always so conflicting. But were you really that busy, that you didn’t even have the time to call and text me until now?”

“It’s not like you called me either. And there wasn’t a reason to, anyway. In fact, I wasn’t planning on calling you today either…” his voice trailed off.

Woobin nodded and acknowledged the statement. It was the truth, he never actually called Jongsuk either. He had sensed that Jongsuk was avoiding him, but he never exactly knew the reason.

Woobin sighed. “I don’t know why you’ve been avoiding me, but the fact that you’ve called me today – even if you didn’t plan to – I guess it means you are fine now, so tell me.”

“I’m not avoiding you!” Jongsuk protested. He continued, matter-of-factly “I just….didn’t want to bother you too much. You have been busy anyway.”

Woobin just stared at him with questioning eyes.

Jongsuk sighed and avoided Woobin’s eyes. “I hate you.”

“Uh huh, you do.”

Jongsuk rolled his eyes. It seemed like Woobin wasn’t going to let it go. “Fine. Truth is, I found myself getting over reliant on you. You know I don’t have many friends, so when I found a really good friend in you, I unknowingly started relying on you a lot. In the sense that whenever I felt like I needed help with something or just needed to confide in someone, you were the one who came to mind. That was fine when we were still working together and all. But after all our endorsements and photoshoots together ended, and we couldn’t meet much, I still continued looking for you a lot. And somehow, I just felt like you were keeping your distance. So I felt like I was bothering you too much so I kind of tried to tone it down a little. And it was when I fell sick and couldn’t go for the Australia trip that I realized I really did miss you a lot, so much that it didn’t make sense. I decided that it had to stop so….it was really difficult to be honest, to get used to being alone all over again. And that’s also why I didn’t really want to call you, in case I get overly attached again….”

Woobin listened attentively and nodded. He took a while to think through what he just heard, before speaking. “Jongsuk-ah, there are a couple of things I want you to know. Firstly, I never thought you were bothering me. In fact, I really enjoyed the times when you called me just to talk and tell me about how you were. It kind of gave me strength to know that you were working hard as well, and that I shouldn’t give up as well. Secondly, I’m sorry I made you feel like I was keeping a distance. I was probably just tired from schedules. Thirdly, I wished you went for the Australia trip too. And most importantly, I’m annoyed. That you actually thought I was such a bad friend who would think you were bothering me. I thought we were friends.”

Woobin felt bad. The truth was, he really was keeping his distance. The two of them were getting too close and his company had told him many times to keep his distance. Of course, he himself had agreed it was better to keep a distance, at least for a while. Even so, he never wanted to lose the friendship. When he actually felt like it was alright for him to go look for Jongsuk again and that he didn’t have to keep a distance anymore, he was slightly appalled to find that Jongsuk was avoiding him. It never occurred to him that he was the reason for that. Of course, Jongsuk didn’t have to know this, and Woobin never showed it. He was a whole lot better at concealing his emotions as compared to Jongsuk.

Jongsuk murmured a soft apology.

Woobin smirked. “Are you really sorry? Make up for that?”

“How?”

“I haven’t thought of it, I’ll tell you when I think of something.”

“Fine.”

“But seriously, anytime you want to hang out or talk, just ring me up. I really don’t mind.”

Jongsuk looked at his drink and stirred it mindlessly, not answering. He wasn’t sure what the right thing to say – or do. He knew Woobin wasn’t just being polite and that he really could call Woobin whenever he needed to. Yet, at the same time, he was cautious. He didn’t want to become overly reliant. Not only because of Woobin, but also because of himself. He knew it was unhealthy, and he was afraid that the over-reliance might end up in grey boundaries. He had felt differently for Woobin – he just withheld that part and not told Woobin about it, there wasn’t a need to – and he wasn’t sure that he would be able to suppress it again if it happened once more.

Woobin furrowed his brows at Jongsuk’s silence, kicking his legs. “Yah. Are you still going to continue keeping your distance or?”

“I’ll call you. Don’t complain about me calling you too much.”

“I won’t complain. I’ll just not answer.”

Jongsuk laughed and kicked Woobin’s legs.

“So we’re all good now, right?”

Jongsuk nodded. “Mmhmm, I guess.”