Our night was sleepless. Kyuhyun and I just stared up at the wooden ceiling of the treehouse, wondering to ourselves if this was reallly what the world had in store for us. 

"You ever heard of the sea of youth?" he spoke up suddenly.

"No." I said, slightly shaking my head.

"It's this sea where when you dive into it, you get younger. Like, you'll never grow old."

"Really?" I asked him. "But I want to grow older. I want to be a grownup and be a writer."

"You do?" Kyuhyun asked. "But I thought you said we wouldn't part forever." 

Tears welled up in my eyes when he said that. I recalled my promise to him that I wouldn't leave him no matter what. I really didn't want to. I lunged towards him and locked him in an embrace. Kyuhyun returned the embrace only to pull away instantly. 

"Do you want to see the sea of youth?" he asked. I nodded, smiling smally. I was confused at this point in my life. 

"When do you want to go?" I asked.

"Tomorrow." Kyuhyun said. "I'll be at your door. Come with  me please." he begged as though it meant his whole life.

Ever since seeing his mother with another man, I noticed a slight change in Kyuhyun's demeanor, almost instantly. He was sombre, lonely most of the time. He started to have a grim, pessimistic outlook on life, as though the world was against him and that there was no such thing as happiness, it was obsolete, to put it in adult terms. It puzzled me as to why  he often thought that way. Maybe we were both too young to understand but we were old enough to feel, though it was unexplainable to us. 

Tomorrow night, I thought long and hard about this "Sea of Youth" that he was talking about. It made me curious as to if it was really a sea of youth, not knowing any better being only nine and literal or if it was a metaphor for something. I soon  learned that it was the latter.

Evening came and I was tucked in bed. I was so sure that my parents were asleep in their bedrooms for I could hear my father snoring. Confident that no one would hear me or detect me when I escape, I stood from my bed, pulling the covers away from my body and walking slowly towards the window. True to this word, Kyuhyun I saw came walking towards our house and stood in front of it, his head turned upward, looking directly at my window. I was sitting at the end of the window, looking back at him.

"Come." his small lips opened. I didn't hear him but I read his lips as they moved. I noticed this and nodded at him. I was quickly on my way down, silently making sure that my steps weren't heard from mother's room. But I was pretty sure that they weren't. 

At the doorstep, I slowly and anxiously unlocked the door and went out, closing the door behind me. The December chill was well on the soles of my feet upon stepping on the pavement. I slipped on my snow boots which I left outside and dashed towards Kyuhyun.

"C'mon. Mother's asleep. We can escape without anyone seeing us." said Kyuhyun.

"I'm scared." said I. Kyuhyun waved a hand  in front of his face and grabbed my wrist, tugging me along with him. Being of a smaller and weaker stature, I was easily pulled to his side. Despite the chilly weather that usually got colder in the nighttime, we prodded on.

"Where is this sea of youth that you talk of?" I asked.

"It's nearby." he said simply, not even looking at me. Not a glance. I started to doubt him and this tale that he spoke of. Nontheless, being naive, I simply followed my friend. 

Kyuhyun and I got to a bridge where a river flowed beneath. I could imagine the coldness one would feel on one's skin when plunged into it. I was sure I would freeze to death. Nontheless, we just looked at it, watched it flow 

We were on the bridge, overlooking the river when he looked up at the stars, gazed at them a long time and then looked back at the river. I knew that he was dying to say something but he just couldn't put it to words.

"Joo hyun, I don't want to grow up." he blurted. I looked at him and was surprised to see tears rolling down his pale face, his nose and eyes red. I had no idea he had been crying the whole time. 

"What? Why?" I asked him. I believed he told me this before.

"I don't like the world. I don't like what it's becoming. I don't like it at all, Joo hyun. I think things would be better off if we stayed kids instead of becoming aduts and getting married and feeling horrible raising horrible children." his tears poured out, the sensitive soul of his was bare before me. I was starting to see his true emotions. 

"Kyu..."I walked towards him and embraced him. He did not embrace back which only made me cry harder. I couldn't pinpoint for certain what was making me cry for I did not understand it that time. 

"I'll see you when I do. I understand you wouldn't jump. So I'll just jump..."he started to grip tighter on the railing of the bridge and propped his foot on the railing. I gripped him to stop him.

"What are you doing?" tears were freey falling from my eyes. I couldn't bear the idea of seeing him plunge into the river.

"It's the sea of youth. Or the way there. You said you would come?"

"But..." I was obviously hesitant. I didn't want my life to end by plunging into a river and drowning. I was a bad swimmer, heck, I didn't even know how to swim. The mere thought of this was haunting to me, hence my apprehension from going with him.

"You aren't?" Kyuhyun said. He shook his head smally and smirked. "Everyone is that way to me. Nobody was ever true." I wanted to hug him and console him but the tears just fell as I stood there, wanting to reach out and pul him back into safety but I knew that would be a rather futile act. Kyuhyun was still going to jump no matter what.

At that age, I was still too mundane of a thinker to even know what suicide was and its causes. Why people did it. Kyuhyun was obviously depressed, in disbelief. So much so that he couldn't find a way to deal with it. He just had to do it the only way he could. 

"If you're not coming with me, Seo, it's okay. I understand perfectly. Nobody does understand me. It's ok. I don't blame you." 

"No! Kyu! No!!" begging and crying were the best I could do. Then, both feet on the ledge, Kyuhyun stood upright, spread his arms to the side and free fell into the waters. I was too late and to reach for him. I didn't budge from where I stood. I just grasped the thin air before me as his frail, little boyish figure submerged into the icy, dark blue waters. My tears fell uncontrollably as my shoulders shuddered rapidly. I was at a loss. I knew not what to do and did only what I could...

Run. Run away. Go back home.