Jonghyun tried falling asleep but it was no use. The thought that Onew was out with Joon doing god knows what made him feel uneasy and anxious and there was no way he could just go to sleep. So he waited. And finally, somewhere around 2 AM he heard the long awaited sound of opening the door and quiet footsteps. But the anxiousness didn't go away. So before he knew he was already out of his bed heading towards Jinki's room. He needed some kind of reassurance that his hyung still liked him, that Joon hadn't taken his place in Jinki's heart, that everything was like it used to be.

He gently knocked on the leader's door and let himself inside.

"Jonghyun? What are you doing up? Is something wrong?" Jinki sat up on the bed and ruffled his already messy hair.

"Can I sleep here tonight hyung?" Jonghyun asked quietly.

Jinki thought he must have heard him wrong. Why would a grown man come in the middle of the night to his bedroom and ask if he could sleep with him?

"What?" Onew asked dumbfounded.

"Can I sleep with you?" Jonghyun was extremely thankful it was dark. Not seeing his hyung's face made it a little easier for him to talk.

This is not a good idea, Jinki thought. Sleeping in one bed with a person you have hidden feelings for is definitely not a good idea.

"Ummm... Why do you want to sleep here? I think..." he sighed "I think it would be best if you went back to your room Jonghyun."

It was like a slap on the face to the younger. He felt terrible at that moment, his insecurity bubbling up in his stomach. "Why are you being like this hyung?" he said, his voice hurt and accusing. "We used to sleep together in the past. What changed?"

"That was when we were all living in one room, it's been years since we did that Jonghyun. Things are not the same anymore." Jinki rubbed the bridge of his nose, 2 AM was not the time for conversations like this.

The younger felt his chest squeeze painfully, his eyes started to tear up involuntary.

It was silent for a few seconds, then Onew heard a small whimper coming from Jonghyun's direction.

"Jonghyun? Are you okay?" he said, standing up from the bed to check on the younger. "Are you crying?"

Jonghyun shook his head but Jinki already noticed wet trails on his face. He got startled a bit, then felt guilt wash all over him. He wiped the younger's eyes with his thumbs. "Please don't cry.. I'm sorry, okay? I just..." But he didn't know what to say, he couldn't tell Jonghyun the truth so he just uttered another silent "I'm sorry"

After a few minutes the younger calmed down. He wiped his face with his shirt and sniffled. He looked up to where he assumed Jinki's eyes would be. "Can I sleep here?" he asked hesitantly once again.

Jinki sighed. He still thought it was not a good idea but he found himself nodding and making space in the bed for the younger.

As expected neither of them got any sleep that night. Onew was too aware of Jonghyun's presence right next to him, he could feel the heat radiating from the younger's body, could smell the shower gel and the shampoo he used, could hear his slow, peaceful breathing. He wasn't able to calm himself even for a second, so he just lied there, his eyes wide open and his heart beating so loud in his chest Jinki wondered if it could be heard by the man next to him.

Jonghyun on the other hand spent the whole night thinking. Thinking about the way Jinki refused him to sleep together, how he said things were not the same anymore, how he just proved to Jonghyun that indeed things between them had changed. And not in a good way. Jonghyun wondered whether Joon really had something to do with the situation they were in right now or maybe everything started to collapse a long time ago and he only noticed just now, when he found out he was in love with Jinki. What was he so busy with he hadn't noticed when they had started to grow apart? Jonghyun tried to remember the last time he really talked with his hyung, but he only managed to recall one-sided conversations where he just blabbed about himself, his life, his girlfriends... And then it hit him. It had always been all about him, he hadn't even noticed when Jinki started putting on those fake smiles when they talked, or when he started answering only with "That's great Jonghyun" or "I'm happy for you Jonghyun". Suddenly, he felt sick. For how long had this been going on? For how long Jinki kept quiet and endured his selfishness? For how long had he been slowly destroying their relationship? And now when his hyung's attention wasn't on him anymore he dared to throw fits? He dared to feel hurt and neglected when he had been ignoring Jinki's feelings for god knows how long? Jinki found himself someone who cared about him, who listened to his worries properly and Jonghyun couldn't even find it in himself to be happy for them, his own feelings again being the most important.

His eyes teared up in guilt, suddenly every heartbeat becoming painful. Jonghyun turned around to his hyung's back. He reached out to touch Jinki but his hand froze at 3 centimeters from the target. His fingers curled and he hesitantly retreated his hand and hid his face in it.

"I'm so sorry hyung" he whispered, almost inaudibly then turned around on his other side hoping to fall asleep.

After that tiring night Jinki slipped out of the bed trying not to wake Jonghyun up as it was still very early in the morning. He dragged his feet to the kitchen and made himself a hot cup of coffee.

"Hyung? What are you doing up so early?"

"Good morning Kibum." he smiled softly and patted the seat next to himself. "Come join me for a second, I have to ask you something..."

Kibum nodded and sat on chair next to Jinki.

"Do you..." he hesitated "Do you know whether something has been bothering Jonghyun lately? He's been extra moody recently and yesterday he came to my room and asked whether he could sleep with me. I... I refused him and he started to cry. I swear I didn't do anything, I was extremely surprised because I don't think I gave him a reason to do so... Do you know if maybe something has happened to him? Did he get in any trouble?" Jinki asked worried.

"Don't stress about it hyung. People in love are always too sensitive and irrational. I'm sure everything's fine." he waved his hand dismissively.

Jinki felt like someone stole all the air from his lungs. "I-in love?" he stuttered. "H-he's in love with somebody?"

Kibum chuckled, happy that his hyung's dream will finally come true. "Yeah. He's been in love with that person for a very long time now but he's only figured out his own feelings recently." he grabbed Jinki's hands and gave them a small squeeze. "Isn't that great hyung?" he beamed.

Jinki though felt anything but great. He was used to Jonghyun meeting up with multiple girls but him being in love with one of them was a completely different case. It was serious. It meant settling down and being in an actual relationship which never really happened to Jonghyun before.

Jinki laughed at himself internally. Why are you so surprised Jinki, you knew this was going to happen sooner or later.

"Yeah, that's really great Kibum." he answered trying to put on a genuine smile.

Some angst for everybody... I guess I wouldn't be myself if I didn't mess with the story a bit.  ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Thanks for reading and for the comments, I shall update soon~~ (that means no sooner than in 2 days XD)