Even if your heart is in pain,

after confronting with reality.

At the end of each tears,

there's a stream of light.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

His look is not focused on you. His touch is on you but not his attention. You're there, he's not.

I in' hate this. Do I look like some random doll you leave in the corner to entertain you? I am not. I don't care if you treat me as trash. Actually, I'm kind of thankful. At least my heart won't hurt as much as it did back then. What did you think leaving me behind? Was it funny? It must had...

 

You talk with them, talk about things that are not funny. It seems easy.

Ah, I really can't change. You know, I felt good when he came. Giving me the feeling to be cared of. It's great. I forgot what it can do to you. And now? With a few words I destroyed everything. I'm stupid, I'm seriously are. But I don't want to turn back time. I would hurt him again. Because I just can't change. I should just leave, right...?

 

Noises fill the room. You work out, trying to forget the harshness you experienced so far.

Maybe I should give up. Thinking doesn't help a little bit. I'm so confused – no, I'm angry. I thought it wasn't hard to understand. I mean, come on! My little sister... she never did anything to anyone. It's not fair. Why not me? Don't laugh. Men can other man, too. It's not always the opposite . Don't look at me like that. I know... I know I'm in the wrong, too. Is it too much to ask for forgiveness first? Ain't I the one who gives up everything in an instant? So, why can't I ask for a favour this time, just once.

 

You listen but never reveal your feelings. You stay quiet. It's what you do the best.

You're a liar. I saw you back then and now. I can tell: you changed – to the better. You were always nice, caring. Still, people didn't think highly of you. Because you gave off the vibe of being arrogant. Thanks to him you were able to express yourself. Showing who you truly are. It's amazing. I wish I have somebody like that. You were always my light. Pushing me in the right directions. Don't give me that look. I hated it as a child and I still do! Give me food. I'm hungry.

 

You still hear her voice. But there is someone who takes her place slowly.

I'm not a bastard. I don't want to hurt people who are important to me. Say what you want, I won't let you blame me. I know I am not perfect. I know I have many things to learn. I know I am stupid acting this way. But you should know. Love is not easy as that. You can't throw it away and take a new one. Love isn't a pair of shoes. I... I'm not the same.

 

----------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--

 

Two persons sat on a bench in a park, early evening. The tension between felt manifest.

If you hadn't cheat on her we wouldn't have met. It was stated matter-of-factly.

The answer sounded kind of offended. Are you trying to justify our affair?

I'm rational. It's a good thing, right? Mischief glint in the other's eyes.

Short silence. Well... Hesitation swung in his voice. I guess...

A sigh. Don't think bad of me. I feel ashamed. I wanted to apologize to her. I really wanted. Life can be so cruel...

Hollow laughter. Hearing you saying that is kind of funny. Who would thought I would be attracted to a man? Society won't like this.

Hurt flashed the other's face. Never did and never will. The words sounded like they had been spoken a lot before. You don't need to feel responsible. Just give me one last night. After that, we can say goodbye. A bitter smile. After all, you hurt me.

Leaves rustled in the wind. Junsu... I'm sorry-

No! Don't apologize. That's worse than saying I was a mistake. A head-shake. It would give me the feeling you care about me. My heart can't stand empty words meant to be comforting. He smiled at the older one. I'm glad I met you, Yoochun. I really am. I don't regret the time I spent with you. I only regret lying to the one who is the most important to you. I never wanted your girlfriend to feel worthless...

It's my fault. His bench partner stood up. I shouldn't have slept with you. I shouldn't have kissed you while being drunk. I shouldn't started a conversation with you. I shouldn't have entered the bar. He stopped and turned around. He looked down on the man who stared at him. Eyes filled with unshaded tears. I shouldn't have made you cry. His last sentence was a whisper. His fingers caressed the other's cheeks.

What's done is done. The sitting man leaned in the touch. I could say the same about me. We are both at fault. So, will you give me this night? Will you fulfil my last request?

You never requested anything before...

He only got a playful smile as an answer.

 

----------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--------------------°--

 

He sat on his bed, pondering if he should call or not. Slightly embarrassed he pressed the call button. As expected, after one ringing the other line answered. You're hungry? The question threw him off-guard. Hyung!

What? The other laughed. You always call when you need new meals. Silence. Half a minute nobody said anything. The troubled expression on the caller's face would make anyone uneasy.

Changmin, tell me what's wrong. The soft tone was comforting.

The reply came hesitantly. I-I don't know, hyung. I feel strange. My body wants to eat but I can't. Am I going crazy?

Where are you?

Home. I came back from my parents' house.

Don't move. I'll be there soon. The other hang up. The man called Changmin stared at his mobile phone, wondering what exactly they were talking about. I just said I'm not hungry, he thought. Not moving as he was told he sat there, waiting for the one who took care of him since he was a child to come. The clock ticked without disturbance. It showed two minuted before midnight.

You look like a lost kitty. The comment made him look up. A raven haired man stand in front of him, a smile on his lips. Still, the worried expression in his eyes could not be overseen.

How did you come in?

A key was shown. You gave it to me, remember?

The sitting man stared wide mouthed. That was ages ago, hyung. I thought you returned it to me.

I treasure the things you gave me. Let it be a key. The man kneed. Why did you sound so desperate? Did something happened? There it was. The mother-alike-look. The one Changmin loved the most. Without thinking he slid down the bed and hugged the other tightly. He felt a hand his back softly. I'm scared. He could just whisper. My brother acts strange since that guy appeared.

Which guy?

The one you brought; Yoochun. He buried his face in the older man's chest. I've got the feeling they know each other. More than that. What if he hurts Junsu hyung? He has it hard already. I want to help. But what if I make things worse? I don't know that guy. I don't know hyung's feelings. I'm scared he gets angry with me. I don't want to lose him, too. The quiet sniffle told everything. The warmth was nice. He felt safe.

Oh, Minnie. He was hugged tightly. You won't lose Junsu. Never. He loves you more than anything. Nobody will change that.

Liar. Yunho did. The mention of said name made the other stiffen. What do you mean?

I'm not dumb, hyung. Changmin lifted his head to look him in the eyes. Both of you have a connection to each other that's not normal. I know you're hurting because of him. And I know he doesn't feel good, too. You're both going to destroy the other by acting this way.

A sigh. You're amazing, Min, do you know that? A soft chuckle. After all this years you're surprising me. But now it's you who is important. Not me, not Yunho. It was said sternly. We'll fix it. Don't worry. After all, I can't live without him. He smiled sadly. Changmin looked down embarrassed. I'm sorry, hyung. I'm too straightforward, ain't I?

A shake of the head. No, that's who you are. I like your honest feelings. You say what you think, you don't up to somebody. You have a strong personality. Be proud of you. People who criticize you are envious of you. Don't let them bother you. I'll stand behind you. You won't be alone. And Junsu will be by your side, too. As if he could ever leave his adorable food monster behind. He pinched Changmin's cheeks. The younger whined. Hyung~

Light laughter filled the room. You're precious, Changmin, you really are. A yawn escaped the older one's mouth. Guilt flashed the other. You should go to sleep, hyung. I held you awake not worth a reason. He was interrupted. You feel bad, Min. that's reason enough. I won't go until I am assured you can sleep peaceful.

Can you sing me a song? The request came suddenly. I want to feel like a child again. Please?

A nod. If you wish. Changmin was been pushed on the bed, a blanket covered his tall body. He robbed closer and placed his head on the other's lap. Slowly, he closed his eyes and listened quietly to the song the other was singing. A smile crept up his lips. His features relaxed and his breath became steady. Soon, he went to dreamland. Good night, my lovely Changmin. The one who took care of the younger left the room, a sad expression on his face. He opened the front door and met the surprised face of a short man.

What are you doing here?

Changmin called me. He couldn't sleep.

Why?

Shouldn't you know? The other looked down. Is it because of Yoochun? Surprising the raven haired man. I take it as a yes. I guess I have to talk to Changmin. I was a horrible brother these past days... I'm sorry, Jaejoong. It should have been me by his side.

The man called Jaejoong waved it off. It's never too late to apologize. Go, he probably wakes up soon. It's time for his midnight snack anyway.

You really know him well.

A shrug. Well, he's kind of a son to me. Even though he's only two years younger. Take good care of him, Junsu. He isn't supposed to experience the darkest corner of this world yet. Inside, he's still a kid.

Changmin's brother nodded. I will. He vowed. The raven haired nodded before exiting. Outside, he took a deep breath. He's way too smart, he thought, staring into the sky. A murmur. I guess I'll have to see a certain person ...

 

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Hope you liked the chapter.^^

Well, the story itself gets to an end.

But I'm planning to write one shots to every couple^^ (videos on the internet are really inspiring... :3)

Maybe - one day in the future - I'll write an ectended version :)

Ah, before i forgot: there will be a part 4 of Love in the Ice. I'm kinda obsessed with this song lately O.o And it gave a nice ending hehe

See ya~