by Soulmetry

Evergreen. evergreen. like an inexperienced fool,

I lived without seeing the love you were giving me.

From now on I won't let you cry;

I'll be the warmth that covers any sadness and embrace you.

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The noise of different voices filled the small apartment. They swelled up and quieten down the next second. Just as waves breaking. But it was not as peaceful as the ocean. The anger which lingered in the air could make an out-stander fell uncomfortable.

A high pitched voice cut the tension abruptly. Stop it. I said already I don't want to go!The owner of the voice, a young man in his twenties, had his hands balled to fists. Dark bangs covered his forehead. He seemed outraged. In broad daylight his pale skin glowed. Another man sat on the ground and looked with big eyes up to him. His voice was pleading yet soft. Don't be like that, Jae. It'll be fun. Believe me.

There it was. Believe me. Those two words that had power over him. How he hated it. Sometimes, he wished he had never listened to the other. Then, he would not always be dragged around and had to clean up the mess, his supposed to be best friend created almost everywhere he went.

A sigh escaped his lips. Reluctantly, he gave in. Fine, under one condition: you won't try to cook, got it? The last time was way too embarrassing to remember it again.

He turned around to grab the keys. Even though he turned his back to the taller man, he could clearly see the other pouting. He shook his head. Why him? What did he do to deserve such a treatment?

The taller man stood up, a little grin placed on his lips. Can I at least drive the car?

He nodded. If that kept him from doing something crazy, he would let him. Besides, Yunho was a better driver. He would never let it say out loud because that stupid guy would probably about it for months with a smirk on his face.

Tell me. The demand could not be overheard.

Innocently, the dark haired man looked up. Hm? Acting as if he did not know what the other wanted.

They were driving on a road leading to the never-ending horizon. It looked dark and not very welcoming. The sky seemed to be in a bad mood. Gray clouds hid the warming sun and cast the world in shadows. Again. Why didn't you want to go? A few raindrops hit the window. He hold back a sigh. Not a big surprise. His best friend was that kind of guy who will be forever concerned about you, once you have his trust. And he won't stop asking what the source of your unhappiness is until you tell him. It's sweet but also annoying.

He didn't pay his surroundings attention and suddenly it went dark. Unintentionally, Jaejoong grabbed the fabric of the others coat. Yunho glanced at him curious. What? Since when are you scared of tunnels? A playful tone in his voice. It made him annoyed.

Look on the road. Not more than a grumble. I don't wanna day so soon.

A light laugh filled the car. Don't worry. I won't let you die ever nor will I leave you. True words.

It was just one sentence. One little sentence with easy words, yet his chest felt warm. Strange, wasn't it?

 

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Oh, my dear. Followed by those words a older woman cupped the black haired guy's cheeks. How come you became so thin? Does Yunho not take care of you at all? Her scolding was suddenly. The taller visitor took a step back, fear in his eyes.

No, it's alright. Her son reply was quickly, followed by a hug. I'm just busy with work. Yunho always has to remind me not to forget to eat.

Her gaze softened. Don't overwork yourself, my son. Your father and I know you're hard-working. Yunho, I'm sorry for my discourteousness. Please watch over that stupid son of mine. She bowed.

The taller man stepped forward and smiled. Of course, Ma'am. I'll do my best.

Don't be so formal, Yunho. She patted his right cheek. You're considered family for years. When will you call me 'Mom'?”

Jajeoong had to chuckle at Yunho's expression. It was priceless. Next time he would snap a photo.

Darling, you're scaring Yunho. Another man, already old, appeared behind the woman. A little wink to ease the situation. I'm sorry. You know how she is. Since we don't see you two that often your mother gets excited.

His words caused Jaejoong to look down. Guilt filled his mind. He knew his mother suffered because of the distance and the lack of interaction. It did not help that all his sisters left the house a long time ago and had their own apartments. His mother stopped his thoughts.

Enough of this depressing atmosphere. We should smile at this occasion. Her voice was demanding. No other opinion was allowed. Your sisters are waiting. Ah, Rina is also there with her husband. They rushed here when they heard you would visit.

His heart stopped for a moment. Her name. As a fool he was he had hoped to never hear that name again. Oh, he should have known fate liked to play. Memories of their last talk appeared for his eyes. Two years ago when she announced her wedding with another man. The one man he considered as his other close friend beside Yunho.

 

“I guess I should congratulate you, huh?”

She laughed. “Well, that would be very nice,” the woman agreed, showing her perfect teeth.

“The thing is. I can't” he said, eyes narrowed to the ground. “I just can't say I'm happy for you...”

Confusion was written on her small face. “What do you mean?”

He felt himself tearing up. Not now, he thought. When I am alone, I will cry. ”All the time when you were laughing with him – I couldn't stand it. You crying in his arms – it was too much. You wonder why? I still love you. It never stopped.

Look at you, your shocked expression. You know, I suffered since you two were dating. But I couldn't change a thing, right? I thought with time the hurt will fade. I was wrong, it never did.”

She opened and closed it. Her eyes were big. So beautiful and innocent, he thought. What would he give to look at them forever. A foolish dream, no more.

He blinked a few times, trying to hold back the tears. The girl was right in front of him but far away at the same time. She lowered her head. “You're unfair,” she said, her voice a mere whisper. ”Telling me you're still in love with me. Why are you so cruel?”

He shook his head. “You know me. I never hold back. Maybe I thought it's good to let you know. I won't hope you leave him. I'm not a bastard. I know you love him and he loves you. I just want to feel better.” A bitter smile graced his lips. “I'm a selfish man. Don't expect me to wish you happiness because I had to lie. Rather than that I have a wish I hope you can keep: please be happy. If you are I know it was right to give up on you.” His voice nearly broke. “So go to him. He's waiting for you.”

She stared at him, not knowing what to say. “Will you still be his best man?” she asked. “You know he wants you to give him the ring.”

“You're really cruel, Rina,” he laughed. “I won't disappoint you. My answer stays the same: yes. So go, before he throws a tantrum.” Go, before you see the the ugly side of me. The side I wish you to never see.

She hesitated a brief moment. “Thank you.” were her last words.

He watched her retreating figure. Finally, he let the tears flow. Silently, he cried tears of an one-sided love. His heart bled and wanted to jump out his chest, following his first love. Life wasn't all nice.

 

The touch of Yunho's hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Don't lose yourself, Jae. His warning was spoken softly. Giving up on her was the best thing you could do. See how happy she is with HyunJoong.

His eyes searched for the woman he shed so many tears for in the past. She talked with Jinhee, his oldest sister. Her husband stood beside her, an arm slung gently around her hip. They looked good. You're right. She truly is happy.

Yunho smiled. Did you doubt me? I'm hurt. A pained expression appeared on his tanned face. Jaejoong laughed drawing the attention of his sisters at him and before he could escape the mob he was already trapped and being showered with hugs and kisses. Yunho! His voice sounded desperate. Help me! The other ignored his shouts and joined two people standing aside: His former classmates.

 

Nothing changed. The spoken comment sounded amused. Eyes were focused on the siblings.

They really love Jaejoong. The woman spoke lightly, blowing away a strand of her hair.

The tallest grinned. He's their little baby-brother. He'll be forever be pampered by them.

Well, everyone needs to be babied at some time. A true statement. The woman winked at the tallest of the men. I heard he pampers you a lot, Yunho. Especially with food.

It was a rare sight to see the composed man getting embarrassed. Who said that? His head went red.

Me. A female flipped him against his forehead. News spread faster than you expect.

Sooyoung. Annoyance showed on his face. His eyes were unfocused. Go to Jaejoong and bother him.

Nah, I already did.

I'm doomed. Only a sigh. The married couple shared a laugh.

The woman called Sooyoung cooed. Ah, you're so cute. She pinched him, making him flinch. Stop it. I'm not five years old.

She raised an eyebrow. Sure? I heard from my lovely brother you act like one. What would everyone say if they knew who the charismatic and manly Yunho really is...? Quite shocking.

Yunho took a deep breath. He should have known. Jaejoong was not someone who kept his mouth shut. His eyes scanned the room but his target was nowhere to be found. Did he survived his sister's greetings?

He's in the kitchen helping mother. The woman who had been talking with the couple spoke up. Yunho did not bother to ask how they managed to appear without a sound. He gave up on getting a clear answer. They would not tell. He thanked her and went to the kitchen where two persons were busily cooking the dinner, chattering over the noises.

Where is the kettle?

Are the potatoes cooked? - In the bottom drawer, where else?

Show respect, youngster.

Sorry...

Oh, Yunho. The woman who greeted him at first stopped in her tracks. Perfect time. Come and bring the dinnerware in the dining room. Oi, Jaejoong. What are you doing? Put the salt down. Do you want to give everyone a stomach ache?

Jaejoong did not answer but stared at something behind Yunho. He turned around and saw himself face-to-face with Rina. A smile graced her face. A little question. Mrs. Kim, may I help?

Oh, dear. That would be nice. The older woman nodded in agreement. The men in this house fit for nothing. No one laughed. The married woman stepped in the kitchen. Hello, Jaejoong. You look good. Said man was frozen. He did not know what to do nor to say.

Y-You, too. Only two words, making things worse. He snatched the plates in Yunho's hand fled out the kitchen. The oldest sighed. When will you be able to talk properly? Her wondering startled the two young people. Rina cracked a little smile.

I don't know. Maybe one day, maybe never. I miss talking to him, HyunJoong, too. I've hoped after all this time we could go back. Her honest answer made the atmosphere heavier.

That's a foolish wish. The comment of the only man in the room was harsh and direct. He grabbed the cutlery. He excused himself and went to look for his best friend. Something inside him told him Jaejoong was outside. He arranged the plates correctly on the table and accepted Jinhee's 'thank you'. Then he walked outside and breathed the fresh air. The garden was still the same. To his right the artificial pond shimmered in the twilight. Dinner would be hard to endure. Especially for his best friend and former classmates. A part of him had the hope, a reunion would help.

Jaejoong! A loud call. Silent answer. He was not surprised. His best friend hid somewhere and refused to come out. He did that since a child. Slowly, he set a foot on the cut grass. The landlord had told him recently a new layer of soil was added and it could sink in. luckily, his feet stayed clean. Deep in thoughts he sat on a stone and stared in the deep water. On the ground he was able to see a few koi carps. They did not wanted to be seen. Like him. To hide the vulnerable side from society, it was hard. And exhausting. Why did he do it? Why not saying who he was? Was it fear, uncertainty, cowardice? He was not able to answer those question.

He heard the sound of rustling leaves and the next moment two arms slid around his torso. He felt warm breath tickling his sensitive neck.

I'm sorry. His whisper barely caught. The grip on his hips tightened. I'm sorry for my knee-jerk-reaction. He meant it.

It's okay. An answer he expected. Two hands placed on the pale one's. Just try to smile, please? You know I love it. Misleading words. The other's body trembled. Stupid. Next sentence only a mumble but full of complain. Can't you be serious for a moment?

A harsh counter. Can't you ease up? Making it worse. The shorter let go. Fine. The lights of the house lightened his angry features. Then I go to Sooyoung. At least, she understands me. He turned around and went back.

 

He was angry. Why could Yunho not be comforting? That was what he needed, not those stupid antics. He should have stayed in his hiding place. But seeing his best friend in front of him was too tempting. And now he felt worse than before. It repeated over and over again. Why he still hoped his friend would understand him, he did not know.

At that moment he was turned around. Warmth embraced him. Stupid. One word, so many meanings. The hold tightened. Didn't I told you that I know you better than me? I may not understand every part of you but I do feel when you are hurt. Jae, stop assuming things that aren't true. He breathed in the scent of the taller. Naturally, his arms wrapped around his waist. He buried his nose in the crook of the other's neck. I'm sorry, Yunho. I'm sorry. I act the same I did a few weeks ago - again. I run away - again. I leave you behind - again. I isolate myself - again. I'm sorry. His body shivered. It was not cold, no. Still, his heart clenched at the thought of going back in his parent's house.

I told you not to be sorry. Did you already forgot what I said before? I fill the parts you're lacking. Stop blaming you for who you are. Gentle touch. Eyes staring at each other, searching for things no one knew. I have to go back, right? The other shook his head. We have to go back.

Silence. I... can I...? His voice broke.

It's okay. Assuring words. Jaejoong let his tears flow. Yunho hold him, patted his back, did not say a word. He was thankful for that. For the mere presence of his friend who cared. He buries his face deeper in Yunho's shirt. His scent was calming. He liked it. Somehow, it remembered him of home. Not his parent's home but the one which was his. His shelter towards the world, towards judging eyes.

 

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Son, wake up. The only answer was a groan. I said wake up!

What? I slept so well. A young man answered in a whiny voice. You better have a good reason for waking me up. The threatening tone would have most scared away.

The older man wrinkled his nose. Don't be such an , Changmin. I have good news for you. A smirk played on his lips.

Really? His son perked up. What kind?

Today is Saturday, right?

Yeah... And you tell me that why...?

Short silence. You can sleep longer. Gleeful laughter filled the room. The younger one's face turned red. Dad...I'm going to kill you! His loud shouting voice startled the woman in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Keep your voice low, Changmin-ah! She sounded outraged. It's early in the morning. The neighbours are still sleeping. Behave!

The young man rolled his eyes. As if she doesn't do the same. His father raised an eyebrow. Did you say something?

No. Go away, already. You ruined my day.

He wanted to kick his father. Not that he would do it, actually. Just a wish, nothing more. Every week he had to wake up at six o'clock. It was rare to sleep in. Even on weekends he had to get up half past seven. It was not fair! Since Victoria left him he thought regaining strength at his parent's house would not be a bad idea. I should stop thinking, he said to himself. A sigh escaped his lips. Looking nowhere, he sat in his old bed. Should I call Hyung? The unanswered question lingered in the air. No... he's probably occupied with work. Yawning, he stumbled in the bathroom.

While he looked in the mirror reflecting his image, Changmin thought about the things he could do this day. He was young and free, yet, he had nothing to do. Really pathetic. His glance fell on his razor. His best friend in crime bought it as a present for him. Intentionally, it was a bet where the loser had to shave his armpit hair. To Changmin's surprise it was him who lost. He still remembers the shame to be complete under his arms. He was not a girl! His friends laughed and had some good days until the hair started to grow again. His revenge was so horrible no one dared to mess with him again – except one.

A grin played around his lips. Eyes sparkling with excitement he rushed in his room, changed clothes and ran down in the kitchen. No words escaped his mouth as he gorged the prepared food. The two elders shook their head in amusement and continued their conversation, ignoring the fact that the youngest stood up and vanished outside.

There was someone Changmin needed to pay a visit. It was way too long since he saw his friend after the day he moved to a bigger town with his brother. Six months? He did not know. They stayed in contact through letters. Junsu how old fashioned he was but being the smart guy he was he ignored everything the duck said and continued to write letters about the life he lived. The period of time he did not see this particular friend of his he stopped playing pranks. Strangers would argument it was because he grew older and matured. He just accepted their reasoning. He knew why he stopped: his partner in crime have not been by his side. Without him it was less fun and also did not seem right. So he let it be.

Humming a popular song he skipped down the street, earning wry looks of passers-by. He did not care. Why should he? Was a twenty-four years old man not allowed to show his good mood? Did he has to act all serious? No.

He stopped at a detached house. How many times did he came here when he was young? What nostalgic feelings. Ringing the doorbell he waited impatiently for the door to open. At the time he considered to go back he heard footsteps. A few seconds later a man in his fifties appeared. A gasp escaped his mouth. C-Changmin-ah? He sounded unsure as if he could not believe who he saw. The called man nodded. Yeah, it's me. Long time no see, Mr. Choi. He greeted with a smile.

I guess you came to see my son? Again a nod. Well, come in, then. I call him. He will be surprised for sure. Laughing quietly the man called Mr. Choi led the visitor in the living room. Please, wait. He went upstairs.

Changmin looked around. Nothing changed. A warm feeling spread through his body. He loved this house. It was warm and welcoming. Not once did the owners sent him back. Deep in thoughts he didn't hear the sound of a nearing person. Only when a voice called his name he reacted.

Changmin? Again, the disbelieving tone.

A grin was placed on his face. You look as stupid as ever, Kyu.

The other snorted. Says the one who looks like a beggar.

At least I'm a good-looking beggar. A usual retort. Changmin felt good. He missed bickering with his best friend. As he had expected wore Kyuhyun pyjamas. Well, it was early in the morning.

The shorter of the two clicked his tongue. I know I'm so great you wish for my presence but why the hell at eight o'clock?! I need my beauty-sleep.

He was given rolling eyes. Don't be such a princess. I'm not here to hear your self-praising. The taller man grinned. I have to add: You call yourself a genius but I'm acknowledged as one. Silence.

Why are you here?

Changmins locked eyes with his best friend. Normally, he did not belong to the category 'sentimental' but Kyuhun standing in front of him... he had not known how much his absence affected him.

I've missed you. Quiet rushed words. Embarrassed laughter answered them. Woah, did the town turned you all mushy? Or did you switch personalities with Junsu hyung?

Kyuhun shook his head and patted Changmin's shoulder. Aw, if I have known... what wonderful pranks I could have played on you...

Don't you dare... the threat in the other's voice let him smile widely. Silly guy. Your payback remains in my head forever. I'm a genius not an idiot, remember? Short silence. Don't take so long for your next visit. It's boring without you. Heart-warming words.

How about finding a job?

Nah, there is nothing to match my niveau.

Have you ever heard the word 'moving', Kyu? No twenty-five old lives with his parents. Well, retards maybe. But no normal person.

I'm not normal, Minnie~.

Not that name. A whiny voice. I hate it. The complain made the shorter snicker.

Still sensitive, I see...

Kyu, one day I'm going to kill you.

His best friend raised an eyebrow. I don't think so. you love my greatness too much. He put his index on his lips. Let me guess... your father woke you at seven o'clock?

Changmin groaned. Don't mention him. I'll contrive a plan to pay him back. This time, he overdid it. The determination amused the shorter one. Yeah, yeah. How about telling me about your life with your brother? I'm curious.

 

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I'm sorry for taking so long T.T

But I'm busy with school... Homework piles up and many exams are coming up. Argh, one day I'm going crazy.^^

I hope you like the chapter. It lacks  inspiration and everything -.- Next chapter becomes better. ;) And maybe the start of the conversation(if yu can call it that) between Changmind and his Dad happens to occure to some of you slighty famliar... I'll confess: I was inspired by a meme.(Well, i copied it more or less°~°) Forgot who created it...Credits to the owner.

Well, I wish a good morning/afternoon/night. :D

See ya~