The sun will keep ascending

There will be no end There will be no tear

Because we are able to think it that way

Someday we are able to live on.

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With a loud bang the door was been opened. Two entangled persons stumbled in the apartment. They didn't look right or left, just focused on each other. A vase fell down and broke with a clanking sound and burst into thousand pieces. They didn't care, they didn't hear. The woman moaned as she felt the man's lips on her neck. Closing her eyes she enjoyed his touches. She had known, when she saw him in the bar the first time, that he was special - different from the others. He was worth a try.

So she took the initiative and caught him before one of those stupid girls could get the idea of flirting in their brainless heads.

This night was not the first time she slept with him. There were numerous times before and she liked it. But she knew she was not in his heart. If he got tired of her he would dump her. She could read it in his eyes. Her heart on the other side wished foolishly it could be the one. Well, this night will crash all her hopes forever...

 

Laying beside him on the bed she still could feel his hands touching her skin. Electricity It felt good to hear him saying her name in a husky whisper. She felt special, loved. Her mother would probably shake her head and scold her for being naïve. 'A guy is no good.' That was what she always said. But her daughter never listened to her. She was young, carefree and enjoyed life. Lovesick, a broken heart, she had never thought about those things. They hadn't existed for her. A long time ago.

A happy smile was formed on her red lips. Slowly, she turned to the right. The young man slept peacefully facing her. Tenderly, she caressed his right cheek. His skin was lightly tanned and seemed to glow at the light which danced through the room. Waking up next to him, to be greeted with the sight of him sleeping. She knew the bliss wouldn't last long. How much she wished her dream to become reality.

Seconds passed into minutes until he finally woke up. His fierce stare pierced hers and made her fell vulnerable. He reached out and touched her exposed leg. His fingers left fire marks and for a brief moment she closed her eyes. Oh, she enjoyed it too much, way too much. The smirk played on his face said it all. Deep inside, she was ashamed of herself. She should have him in her palms, not the other way around. But who doesn't understand? Desire can not stay hidden. She tried and failed. From the beginning, he knew how to treat her to get what he wanted. There was no mercy.

A sad smile appeared on her face. The conversation she wanted to start for a long time had to start.

She opened . She had a somehow soothing voice, calming in the most heated conversations.

For you it's just , right?

As expected, he froze for a second, before getting his cool again. Standing up, he walked to the mirror. She watched him consciously. If you know the answer, why wasting time asking?

Harsh words. Hurting more than weapons stepped in her chest. You're horrible... don't tell me you didn't feel the change?

What change? He looked at her reflection apathetically, hands in his pockets. The jeans fitted him perfectly. Your behaviour towards me? Your loving gaze? Your tender touches? I'm not an idiot. I'd noticed everything.

You have nothing else to say? An intense stare at his back.

Frustration was seen on his face. What do you want? He wasn't good at this. He would never be. Still, he didn't turn. An excuse? Hearing me say 'I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you'? What did I do that you have to hear me say sorry? I didn't force you to fall in love with me. I never did. So don't blame me for your broken heart. It's not my fault.

Why are you so cruel? Tears formed in her eyes. Fits tightly clutched the blanket. Don't you have pity? At least reject me nicely and don't throw me away like trash. I have feelings, too. Her voice – a mere whisper. Her pleading – louder than a scream.

So what? The coldness in his voice wasn't as hard to bear as the nonchalantly manner. She bit her underlip, refusing to cry. Not again. Don't cry those crocodile tears. He captured her gaze through the mirror. The disgusting expression made her feel even worse. I hate women who cry. They always think they get through with everything if they let a few tears flow. Who do they think they are? Rage filled him up. He opened his wardrobe and chose a white shirt. He looked innocent and young, a lie. You want me to reject you nicely? Aren't you supposed to fight for my heart? What a strange woman are you? The last sentence was more a question to himself.

Starting a battle I can't win? A bitter smile formed on her lips. Her normally bright eyes became dull. It costs energy nobody will give me back. Maybe you like the imagination a girl trying so hard standing by your side created in your mind. Well, you don't have the pain to endure. You're always protected by your self-created shield. Great, isn't it? The bitterness could not be overheard. His face did not tell anything away. Expressionless he turned around, looking at her only for a short moment before he walked in the bathroom. She grimaced and followed him.

Staying silent won't change a thing. It won't turn back time nor can you deny the existence of my feelings for you. You can ignore them, yeah. Do it for the best so I can get going. But don't refuse to say anything. Isn't it enough already? We both suffer.

Their eyes met in the mirror. She had her hands clenches to fists. He hold a toothbrush and continued the incomplete task. Who says I suffer? Do I have feelings for you? No. do I wish for a change? No. Am I unsatisfied? No. I'm happy. So please shut your mouth and stop talking about things that don't exist.

Furiousness was shown on her delicate features. You don't want to admit it? Fine! Well, I have nothing else to say. Keep being stubborn. I don't care. I have enough of your attitude. I'm tired. Since I'm not important you won't mind if I leave, right? No answer. Tears rolled down her cheeks. I hate you. I seriously do. You hurt me more than a knife stabbed in my chest. I want to escape this nightmare called love. But the more you wish the more you get dragged in. It's exhausting. Her voice was not mere than a whisper. He raised an eyebrow. Didn't you said a second ago you loved me? Suddenly changing your mind? You're funny. Actually, I don't know if your feelings for me are true or if you just want somebody who warms your bed. Maybe you aren't as angelic as you do? Maybe you are no better than those women down the street. I don't know. Won't you tell me? His last words were teasingly said, full with malice. Only the sound of a banging door answered.

 

Nothing changed since the day she left. He thought she would come back – overconfident, as he was. Silence filled the house. Again. But soon it was replaced by loud cursing. Angry, he kicked the sofa and groaned at the pain flooding through his body. Taking a deep breath, he went to stand at the large window. The scenery of an alive town laid-out down his feet. Someone else would been captivated by the sight but after seeing it countless time the effect became less and less. This time, his own silhouette took his attention. The look in his eyes did scare himself. A look he had only seen on broken men. Trying to erase the picture he slammed his fist against the glass which vibrated slightly.

He felt stupid. So stupid. Oh yeah, he had felt good when he humiliated her. Why? A question which answer he couldn't find. All of his friends laughed and patted his shoulder after he told them the story. Well, most of them. His best friend had frown on his face. When he asked him what was wrong he had shook his head and murmured some in-apprehensible words accompanied by a judgemental glance. He left him confused on the entrance of the campus. Now, four days later he was lost.

On the first day he started to doubt his behaviour. Even regretted it.

On the second day he had thought of calling her but didn't do it.

On the third day he tried to call his best friend and was ignored. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. Normally, it was him who decided when to acknowledge somebody's presence. Was it time for a change?

On the fourth day he found her letter. It was placed beside his bed on the little table he merely used. 'To my dearest person'. Instinctively he reached out and opened the cover. Two folded paper were put inside. His moves hesitant he opened them and stared at the beautiful handwriting. From the corner of his eyes he saw something blinking on the ground. Curious, he picked it up: it was one of her earrings she wore whenever she could. Pain shot through his chest.

Trembling, he started to read.

 

Dear my stubborn idiot,

when you find this letter I assume we have long broken up. It takes some time for you to find things, right? Maybe you're wondering why I'm writing you instead of coming back and slapping you more then one time. If I'm honest, the thought was there. Well, in the end I wasn't able to do it.

I love you but I can't stand the humiliation I'd received through the time I was with you. The neglect whenever we were outside. The flirting with other girls. The pity on my friend's faces...

You're probably reading these lines without much emotions. Who can blame you? The heart chooses who it loves. Not the mind. My heart chose you but yours not mine. The pain is unbearable sometimes but it would hurt much more if I knew you won't be happy with me.

My friends say I'm generous and I don't back down. Well, I don't think so. Why? Because I ran away. Away from you, my love. While I'm writing this I can hear your laughter. I know you don't like cheesy things like this. We're totally different, huh? Maybe you feel a little regret. It brings satisfaction. I know it's stupid to think about it. But the hope you don't think apathetically about me does exist. The delusion makes it easier to bear. You're wondering, why I'm telling you this? Honestly, I don't know. At the moment, I can't even understand myself. Funny, isn't it? Me... who started all this, making it sound as you're the culprit and I'm the victim. I'm sorry for that. I need to blame you for the things you neglected. We never were in a serious relationship. We both know. It was all about and forgetting the hard life. To find joy. I would lie if I say I didn't like those nights. They were exciting. You were amazing, still are.

I guess, for you it stayed the same. For me, it changed. When? Don't ask – you wouldn't anyway. The feelings were just there. Wanted to be seen. Useless. I got it. The only request I have before I lay the pencil aside is I hope you'll treat the woman who'll replace me better. Nobody deserves to be used and unseen just because. Can you fulfil it, Changmin? Maybe I'm brazen. Who cares? I am who I am. You are who you are. As long as we don't lose us it's okay, right? So, be strong and rise bright as the sun. I'll watch you, far away. You'll be seen by me but you won't see me. In a few weeks you will have forgotten me. Inescapable after all.

I won't ask you to remember the time we had together. It'll be okay if only I cherish the memories. One day, I'll forget you. I swear it. Be happy or not, I don't care. Seriously, the times I shed tears for you will stop. Why the sudden change in mood? I'm unpredictable, didn't you said that before? I won't keep my head down. Sound the same as an announcement to war? I keep it by that then. Come what may. Min – I know you hate that nickname. Be glad, you don't ever have to hear it again. I wholeheartedly wish you the best. Still in love,

Victoria

 

The letter became blurred in front of his eyes. His body trembled and he had to lean against the wall next to him. Disbelieve filled him. How could she leave ultimately? What a stupid script was it fortune played him? It wasn't true. Nobody left him. It was him who leaves. Not the other way around. It was wrong. So wrong. The world turned upside down.

Something wet ran down his cheeks. He looked to the ground. Dark spots were seen on the carpet. Wondering what it was he stared at the mirror three feet away from him. The sight made him gasp. His eyes were filled with tears, a sorrow look graced his handsome features and his nose started to get red. Slowly, his fingers followed the trail of tears. It was still unbelievable. He cried. When was the last time he did? When he was a child? He grow up with the thought that man don't cry. So why did he now?

A quiet whisper, hard to hear. If she could had heard it the woman would have been happy: Weren't you my girlfriend? Pain in his chest rose. Ria...

 

 

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So I hope you liked the chapter.^^

At first I was thinking of changing the writing style in a 'standard' one. But somehow it came out like this. Please comment and tell me if you like it. Suggestions are welcome.~

Skurril