Is it too late to remind you how we were?

But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur.

Luhan stands outside their apartment door. Two cups of bubble tea and ddeokbokki, Sehun’s favorites. It’s been a long two months for him, finding solace in his best friend—Yixing’s—house for the meantime. They haven’t spoken since he left, and the guilt of just leaving like that had been keeping him up all night.

How could he just leave Sehun, the person who had saved his life despite being strangers to each other? The man had even given him the privilege to love and be loved. He protected him in many ways he could, held his hand, made him feel special every day, brought him flowers and plushies, sang to him (despite his unflattering voice, danced for and with him, and wiped his tears when he cried. Took him to the university and fetched him back. Listened to every song he’s ever written and his dreams of singing all of it on stage. He faced his parents with him, despite getting reprimanded and told to leave immediately. He still loved him after that. For four years, he did all of that for him.

In the fifth year, he asked Luhan to marry him.

In the fifth year, they fought and argued for a long time; said things they wish they could take back.

And in the fifth year, they decided that breaking apart was the only answer left.

“I wish I’d never met you! I wish you’d never come into my life and made me feel so useless all the time. I wish you’d just leave me alone!”

Luhan never meant all of it, he’s sure of that. What he wanted was the angry Sehun to calm down, and embrace him and wipe his tears like he always does. But that never happened. He’d always had that feeling of insecurity gnawing in his guts, that one day, this man he loved the most would grow tired of him because he depended on him too much. But what could Luhan do? He’d spent most of his life depending on himself, and for once in his life, someone took a chance on him and said, “Don’t cry anymore, Lu. You can come to me all the time and tell me everything, even the most random things. I’ve got you now.”

The last time he ran to Sehun, the love of his life just looked him with spite in his eyes and turned away.

He doesn’t have him anymore.

While Luhan contemplates whether to ring the doorbell to face whatever the future’s got in store for him and Sehun or not, he takes a stroll down memory lane and reminisces of the good, happy days of them together. It was cut short though, as he heard a familiar voice coming from the other side of the door. It was Jongin, Sehun’s best friend, talking rather fast that he couldn’t really understand. But he was sure it was some sort of a joke, because a much more familiar voice followed. Sehun’s. He was laughing, so hard. It was genuine, the kind that he emits when Luhan foreshadows his favorite lines in Disney movies.

So Luhan takes a step back. The love of his life seems happy now. Without him by his side. And maybe they were both right on their decision. And that he shouldn’t regret any of it. At least one of them isn’t miserable anymore. He hopes this one he’s about to make would be right as well.

Luhan turns around and leaves.