And all the things that I wished I had not said

are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head.

Sehun had always been reliant on his pride. Even when he is wrong, he still likes to believe that he’s right. This fact had brought him a lot of mishaps in life. From school brawls to fist fights in clubs, name it and it will be on Sehun’s record. It’s safe to say that he had regret—if not all, then—most of the he’d done because of his pride, they weren’t something to be proud about after all. But if anything, Sehun was very sure that out of all the dumb crap he’d pull off in the past, there is only thing he doesn’t regret. And would most likely never will in a million years.

The day he met Luhan was like the usual days. With his favourite ripped jeans and leather jacket on, Sehun strode through the busy streets, heading to the dance studio he works at. He was late again, unsurprisingly and would probably get another yelling from his best friend—Jongin’s—boyfriend. That was the last thing he wanted to happen. But it seemed life would just not have it. Because just as he was about to cross the street, a slight commotion caught his eyes. By the alley a few steps away from where he stood, a mugging was taking place. The man with honey-blond hair looked helpless against the two brusque, ogre-like pricks. But he didn’t look wavered by them, even seemed like he was about to fight back.

And because Sehun liked to rely on his pride so much, he wasn’t just about to let this slip by.

A black-eye and a few possibly broken ribs later, he was sitting side-by-side with a honey-blond haired boy at a hospital—waiting for his turn. Sehun looked at him with much affliction, mostly because his body was aching so badly and partly because the boy had been clinging onto him like a koala bear, shivering in fear, the moment he’d saved him. He looked like he was barely out of high school, contrary to what the information on his I.D. says. Apparently, his name is Luhan and like Sehun, he’s also attending university. The one near his too.  And on the way there, those two nauseating scoundrels decide to steal from him.

“Of course I had to fight back!” Luhan exclaims when the other asks him why he didn’t just comply with the muggers, and Sehun couldn’t help but mentally coo at him because he really did look like a baby. “This is for my tuition at the university, and I did not just take a part-time job cleaning toilets just to have my money stolen from me.” He pouts.  And oh, Christ. Why is he too adorable?

As far as Sehun knows, he only goes for girls with nice racks. He’s had his fair share of breaking hearts when he was younger, sweeping ladies off of their feet only to drop them when he already feels tired. But he started laying low when he reached college, only dating a few here and there, never taken seriously though.  What Sehun doesn’t know is that he’s had a complete misconception of the human body’s tendencies all along.

It was only 5 weeks after his meeting with Luhan, when his bruises had healed along with his ribs with the help of honey-blond hair boy himself and Jongin’s boyfriend had given him a week-off to rest, that Sehun realized he didn’t just like girls with nice racks.

Also boys who resemble koala bears, have nice honey-blond hair, wide round eyes and a rather angelic voice.

Luhan.

Luhan.

Luhan.

Sehun had always been reliant on his pride. Even when he’s wrong, he still likes to believe that he’s right. This fact is the sole reason why he’s been curled up on what used to be his and Luhan’s shared bed for two and half weeks straight. The words he had hurled unto the other won’t stop replaying inside his head. He feels lost and most of all, bereft of life. Because without Luhan, he might as well be.

“Tell me, Luhan. Did it feel so damn good around those men when I wasn’t around?! You good for nothing, . I should have left you to those muggers, you’d probably enjoy them anyway”

It was like a broken tape inside his brain. His own words eating him alive. He shouldn’t have said it, he should have known better than to let his pride get the worst of him. Sehun felt like a monster for doing so. He blamed himself eternally. He deserves it anyway.