Diana was a musician too and had a girlband, but looked up to Jing because she'd been at it longer and played several instruments. Diana could sing, but didn't have much depth to her musical skills. Jing had casually tried to teach her basic guitar chords over the 2 years they'd dated, but Diana seemed to be all thumbs.

It wasn't an unusual occurrence though that they sang together; jamming, with Jing on guitar or piano, and Diana on vocals. They sometimes even dabbled in songwriting as a pair. They often shared new lyrics for their respective projects with each other, to bounce ideas around.

So Diana found it odd one day when she walked in on Jing belting a new song, alone in her bedroom, that Jing had jumped and frantically tried to hide her lyric draft pages. She realized it wasn't the first time. She'd only half-noticed her slam shut her songbook backstage the other night but now it became more clear.

"Ah-Jing..." Diana stood in the doorway, afraid to enter the room.

". You scared me," Jing explained. She was a ball of nerves. Was she...panting?

"Maybe you need a break. Come have a tea with me?"

Jing tried to steady her breathing but felt very frazzled by the sudden intrusion. She put down her guitar and made for the door.

"Lemme go splash some water on my face," she said as she awkwardly pushed past Diana who was blocking the exit.

Though she knew it was wrong, Diana's curiosity got the best of her. While Jing was in the bathroom, Diana took a peek at the lyrics her girlfriend had tried to hide. It was disjointed and scribbled. This was unlike Jing, who was usually neat and organized even while writing drafts. Diana's eyes grazed the page and made out bits of verses,

Just don't have a heart to say so...

        Saying I love you cannot change a love that was once strong...

I don't have the heart...

          Don't hear me wrong - I don't love you...

Hearing Jing return from the bathroom, Diana quickly covered the badly-hidden pages and went to meet her girlfriend in the kitchen. Though she knew never to judge a songwriter's unfinished work, something about these lyrics left a bitter taste on her tongue. She felt...targeted.

She studied Jing for some indication of what was going on and noticed how red her face was. She approached her, took her hands in her own and looked in her eyes. They were watery. Her whole face was dripping. Normal, she'd said she was going to splash some water on her face, but...no, this was different. Some of the drops spilled from her eyes.

"Baby!" Diana was worried, "What's going on? I would ask if you're okay, but I already see that you're not."

Jing fought hard to keep the tears away, but it was no use.

"I want to break up," she suddenly blurted out. Diana thought she misheard,

"What?"

Jing swallowed hard and a small whimper escaped ,

"I want to break up!" she repeated, her voice breaking.

"Jing?" Diana was lost for words.

"Could you...go?" Jing asked. Diana stared blankly.

"Please," Jing closed her eyes and tears trickled down both of her cheeks.

"But..." Diana was a good songwriter but right now she couldn't string 2 words together intelligently. Nothing made sense. Nothing except for the song lyrics she shouldn't have snooped on. was dry. She said nothing, but headed for the door, feeling no words she could say right now could possibly make this better. Only worse.

After the front door slammed shut, Jing sunk to the floor. She sobbed with her head in her hands. In her mind, over and over she repeated the lyrics of her new song.

I don't love you, I don't love you, I don't love you, I don't love you...

When she calmed down, she felt utterly numb. She wanted her mom. She wanted to be comforted. She wanted her family - even if they couldn't understand. Just their presence would make her feel connected to humanity in some way.

She phoned her mom. Mostly, she let her ramble momspeak about soap-operas, bills and house renovations.

"Where are my manners!" she exclaimed, "How's my daughter doing today?"

Jing ignored the question and instead said,

"You know that Howie guy you've been telling me about?"

Her mom said, "Yes? What a nice fellow!"

"Can I meet him?" Jing asked.

Her mom was delighted.

"Can I come over?" Jing swiftly changed gears though her mother was clearly already planning a time and place for Howie and Jing to meet.

"Oh? You mean today?" her mom asked.

"I mean now. Are you busy?" Jing inquired.

"Well, I suppose not. Come over!" her mother replied.

Jing found her family to be much more accommodating once they learned she was ready to meet Howie.

She slept over that night, not wanting to be alone at her apartment, surrounded by reminders of Diana. She left behind her cell phone and laptop too, not feeling up to taking calls from her manager, the record company, nor a bewildered and hurt ex-girlfriend.