Hyukjae frowned, although it was something too advanced for him, he hated the idea of not understanding in the first try. He sighed and took his eyes back to the first paragraph to read again. "Hey Hyuk..."

He froze in his spot, slowly looking up to look at that familiar face, finding a charming smile directed at him. "Hey Hae..."

"How are you?" It had been already two weeks, but it still hurt to think about him. 

"I'm fine, and you?" Hyukjae smiled, feeling his stomach clench painfully. He put down his book, afraid Donghae would notice how anxious he was. 

"Missing you," Hyukjae didn't know why he believed it. Donghae's eyes were so honest, so beautiful... Hyukjae swallowed the small knot in his throat. And then that smile, so honest, so charming, so perfect. How much Hyukjae missed Donghae. 

"Hae... I-" 

"It's alright," Donghae smiled gently, reaching his hand to hold Hyukjae's softly, caressing the back of it with his thumb. "You don't have to force yourself...”

Hyukjae was stunned. He didn't move. He didn't even know if he wanted to move or if he wanted Donghae to keep holding his hand. He missed him. And Hyukjae hated it.

Donghae had always had the ability of making him laugh and feel comfortable within minutes, no matter how deceived he was. It didn't take long for him to forget his pain to get distracted by Donghae's stupid and simple jokes.

Kyuhyun took longer than he expected to go and get his notebook from Victoria and he ran to the library, just minutes before the break would be over. He stopped his tracks as he saw Donghae and Hyukjae, sitting in front of each other, laughing together, their hands intertwining.

Kyuhyun frowned deeply, clenching his fists tightly before walking towards the table, sitting by Hyukjae's side as he threw a glare at Donghae.

Donghae's smile faded away and Hyukjae gasped, taking his hand back from Donghae's hold. "Kyuhyun...," Donghae called, frowning slightly and clearing his throat.

"Donghae, how rare to see you again," Kyuhyun said, glaring at the other. "Ever since you broke up with Hyukjae in the park and left him alone there. Again."

"K-Kyuhyun!" Hyukjae scolded, looking how Kyuhyun was trying to kill Donghae with his glare. 

"I have nothing to say to you," Donghae simply said, standing up from his seat before looking at Hyukjae, smiling gently. "I'll wait for you."

Hyukjae nodded slightly, looking down at his book as he saw by the corner of his eyes how Donghae walked away.

They stood in a heavy silence before Kyuhyun broke it. "What the are you doing?" He demanded, frowning deeply. "Hyukjae, what the hell were you ing talking about? You were even holding hands!"

The bell rang and Hyukjae stood up. "Let's talk later," he said hurriedly, arranging his things before running to his class.

Kyuhyun groaned annoyed, running his fingers through his hair. "ing dammit," he hissed, now hating the fact that he didn't have any other class so he could talk to Hyukjae.

At the end of the day, Kyuhyun ran to meet Hyukjae, leaving Victoria behind. He cursed under his breath when a classmate told him Hyukjae had gone a few minutes before with Donghae. He groaned, looking at Victoria that was waiting for him.

…………………………

It was already darkening when Hyukjae came home and Kyuhyun was waiting for him outside. "Where were you?" 

Hyukjae looked at Kyuhyun before looking away, avoiding his gaze. "Out...," he dragged his voice, opening the door.

"With Donghae?" Kyuhyun frowned, standing behind Hyukjae.

"My parents aren't here but I still have to say what I did and where I went," Hyukjae chuckled, turning around. "Yes, I was with him."

Kyuhyun was raging by then, grabbing Hyukjae's shoulders firmly, looking into the smaller's eyes. "Hyukjae, we've talked about this before," he frowned deeply. "What did he want?"

Hyukjae looked down, biting his lower lip, feeling the tears starting to stink his eyes. "Just... Talk..."

"I'm not ing stupid, Hyukjae," Kyuhyun said dangerously. "What did he want?"

Hyukjae sighed deeply, his fingers playing with each other because he felt so anxious under Kyuhyun's gaze. "He asked me to come back together..."

Kyuhyun let go of Hyukjae, groaning lowly. "What did you say?"

Hyukjae felt his hands tremble, his stomach clenching uncomfortably. "I told him I would think about it..."

Kyuhyun was raging. He didn't care he would hurt himself when he punched the door behind Hyukjae, just by the side of the smaller's head, making the other gasp scared, terrified at the way Kyuhyun was acting. 

"What the are you going to think about?!" Kyuhyun demanded. Hyukjae had never seen Kyuhyun so mad, and much less at him. It was dark already and the light reflecting against Kyuhyun's skin was making him even scarier. 

"K-Kyuhyun...," Hyukjae called nervously, bringing his hands up to hug his arms tightly. "W-Why are you so mad?"

"ING DAMMIT HYUKJAE!" Kyuhyun screamed, trapping Hyukjae against the door. "HE ING CHEATED ON YOU! HE BROKE YOUR HEART COUNTLESS TIMES! THERE'S NOTHING YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT!"

Hyukjae bit his lower lip, looking down as he felt himself shivering, both in fear and coldness. "I-"

"No," Kyuhyun said firmly. "You can't think about it. He doesn't deserve you! Dammit Hyukjae! Love yourself a little!"

Hyukjae had tears dancing in his eyes and he blinked, letting them fall down his cheeks as he looked up to face Kyuhyun. "And who does?" He asked, so lowly that it sounded as a mere whisper.

Kyuhyun was taken aback by the sudden question. "W-What-"

"Who deserves me?" Hyukjae asked, the corner of his lips lifting up in a weak, painful smile. "I'm not you, Kyuhyun."

Kyuhyun frowned. "Hyukjae, Donghae is just a piece of bull!"

"And so I am!" Hyukjae exclaimed, finally letting his voice crack, his tears falling down freely. "Kyuhyun! How can you not understand it?!"

Kyuhyun felt his chest contract painfully. He wanted to scream in frustration. It wasn't the first time he had seen Hyukjae cry in front of him, but this time it was different. "Hyukjae," he called, frowning because seeing Hyukjae like that was physically painful and he wanted to cry too. How much he hated looking at those tears. "You're not bull." 

Hyukjae let out a dry, empty laugh. "Oh Kyuhyun...," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You really can't see it, do you?"

"I don't need to see anything, Hyukjae," Kyuhyun said firmly, frowning deeply as he felt his insides clench so horribly that he wanted to scream. 

"I'm not like you, Kyuhyun," Hyukjae said. His voice was empty, so cold that sent shivers down Kyunyun's spine. "I'm not a genius, I have to study all night to get the same grades as you. I'm not handsome or pretty, the fact that Donghae noticed me was as impressive as the man reaching the moon decades ago. I'm not charismatic, I can't attract people the same way you do. I have no talents, even if I try there's nothing I'm good at that can give me hope to keep on doing it," Hyukjae bit his lower lip tightly, pushing Kyuhyun's chest away from him. "Kyuhyun," he called again. "Donghae is the first and probably the only person that has ever felt remotely interested in me," he said, his voice cracking.

It hurt. It hurt to accept the cruel reality. Hyukjae knew it. He had known it for long time ago already, even if he was only seventeen. It was painful. To voice it out.

Kyuhyun gulped down the knot in his throat. He looked at Hyukjae incredulously. "Hyukjae-"

"Just because you can have anyone you want doesn't mean everyone does," Hyukjae said, looking down at his feet. "You can have the prettiest girl in the entire school. You can be perfect and handsome but I don't. Even if I try my hardest, I can't seem to look pretty enough to make someone talk to me...," he chuckled bitterly. "Aside from you, Seohyun seems to be the only friend I have and that's only because she wants me to share information of you..."

"Do you really think of yourself like that?" Kyuhyun asked, looking directly into Hyukjae's eyes.

Hyukjae looked back at Kyuhyun and smiled softly, gently. "Isn't it how it is?" He asked back. The way Kyuhyun was looking at him was breaking his heart and he had the sudden urge of hugging the taller tightly and cry in his embrace. "I told Donghae I would think about it because being unhappy with him is way better than being unhappy with myself... At least I have someone to blame when I cry."

They stayed in a heavy silence that made them both feel in pain. Hyukjae turned around, opening the door of his house. "Go home, Kyuhyun, it's late."

"What about me?" Kyuhyun's voice was hoarse, maybe because he wanted to cry or probably because he was so angry that he couldn't even control himself. "Why are you counting me out?"

Hyukjae turned his head slightly to look at Kyuhyun. The taller was looking down, his fangs covering his eyes, his fists clenched so tightly that he was trembling in anger. "I didn't count you out," Hyukjae whispered softly, only meant for Kyuhyun to hear. "But you let it clear that you won't be with me forever."

Kyuhyun looked up, eyes wide open. "When did I even say that?!" He groaned annoyed, looking at the smaller stepping into his house. "Hyukjae!"

"Calm down. My poor ears can't stand such annoying voice of yours," Hyukjae smiled playfully at Kyuhyun. "Go home, I'm not giving you shelter tonight."

"What the -" the door was closed just in front of him and he screamed in frustration. "YAH HYUKJAE! YOU WON'T ESCAPE TOMORROW!"

………….……………

Hyukjae wasn't avoiding Kyuhyun. It was more like they didn't get the chance to even greet each other.

Kyuhyun laughed loudly at the joke they were told. He used to eat lunch with his club friends and Victoria at least three times a week and he always had a great time with them. He hugged his girlfriend by the waist, looking at the other guys playing around and doing some imitations.

His eyes traveled to a small figure and his smile faded away. Hyukjae was sitting alone. Donghae was a year higher so their lunch break was different. He wasn't even eating, Hyukjae was just sitting and reading a book. He felt his abdomen contract looking at how fragile Hyukjae was. 

Seohyun came after a few minutes. She was a girl no one talked to because she was especially weird. She sat down in front of Hyukjae and the smaller smiled up at her, letting his book down to pay attention to whatever she had to say, even if it was senseless and crazy stuff. 

Kyuhyun hadn't noticed it before. Hyukjae had really no friends. He thought it was fine but it wasn't. Thinking about Hyukjae eating alone most of the time made him feel nauseous. He didn't feel guilty, but it hurt.

The hell rang and Hyukjae stood up, walking with Seohyun to their next class.

Kyuhyun felt a pang of pain in his chest. He abandoned Hyukjae. He decided being with Victoria was the best decision and he didn't care whatever Hyukjae felt being alone in his classes. He never told Kyuhyun not to do it or that he was going to be alone. Hyukjae never let Kyuhyun know how lonely he was.

By the end of the day, Kyuhyun learnt that Hyukjae was bullied sometimes, mostly because he defended Seohyun, which happened to be his new best friend.

The feeling of being replaced made Kyuhyun feel like killing someone. He wanted to claim Hyukjae as his, to make everyone realize Hyukjae had been with him ever since they were babies and that no one could beak such strong bond between them. But he didn't want anyone else paying special attention to his Hyukjae.

"So you came back with Donghae?" Kyuhyun asked as soon as he sat down on the table, just in front of Hyukjae. 

Hyukjae looked up and smiled. "Yeah," he simply answered. "You might not know, but Seohyun will probably come and eat here."

Kyuhyun groaned. "This was my seat before it was hers."

"She'll come with more reasons if you're here," Hyukjae sighed in annoyance. "And then I'll have to ing stand her talking about your face all day long."

Kyuhyun laughed. "My face is perfect, I don't know what you're talking about," he smiled. They didn't talk about what Kyuhyun wanted to, but the calm and friendly aura Hyukjae had was enough for him to feel way better.

"I have no idea what you have that made her go crazy like that," Hyukjae wondered. "You're literally an ." 

"Not literally," Kyuhyun glared at the smaller. "And why are you not eating?"

Hyukjae raised an eyebrow. "I ate already," he said. "Where's Victoria? She's the most beautiful thing about you."

Kyuhyun frowned. "She's with her friends," he said. "And she'll stay the entire afternoon with them so I'll get to go home with you."

"Why would I want you there?" Hyukjae sighed. "And my parents come home tonight, we'll go out together."

Kyuhyun groaned. "Why tonight when I'm free?!"

Hyukjae laughed, standing up just a second before the bell rang. "Strangely enough, I'm not available for you whenever you wish, idiot."

Kyuhyun sighed out loudly, just looking at Hyukjae go before standing up. Why wasn't Hyukjae always available for him though? It was no lie Kyuhyun wanted to spend as much as time as possible with the smaller and not having classes together was annoying him quite a lot.