I decided to make it a double update because I feel so bad for leaving you all hanging for over a month! Wow, when you put it like that, it kind of . I'm a terrible person, I know, but hopefully this will quell your anger towards me. AND, since it's a special double update, I'll make it follow Jonghyun's side of the story so you can see how he reacts to the sudden disappearance from his one and only Jinki. Don't hate me. ;A;

Jonghyun knew something was odd when he found his arms circling something that was certainly softer than the frame he was so used to falling asleep with. Even without opening his eyes, he could tell that he was holding something other than Jinki. Perhaps it was the lack of Jinki's scent, or the tickle of Jinki's hair against his chin, or his empty hand which usually ended up intertwined with Jinki's as they slept. Or, perhaps it was the memory of an upset Jinki from the night before that had his heart warming up for disappointment.

He told himself it was just a bad dream, that his mind was playing tricks on him and that he'd wake up with the love of his life still wrapped around him and letting out gentle snores that always had Jonghyun laughing as a reaction. Maybe his heart already knew the truth, because Jonghyun refused to get up no matter how many times the alarm screamed at him to wake up. He sniffed the air desperately, hoping that there would be an aroma of food, and forced his ears to focus on any sudden yelps or clattering of pots and pans.

There was nothing. The apartment was still, scentless, soundless, Jinki-less. He had to confirm it for himself.

Thus, Jonghyun sat up and forced his eyes open, glancing at the pillow that was placed in his arms before his eyes desperately checked the room around him. The closet was open and there were clothes thrown onto the ground, but Jonghyun kept some hope in his heart as he stumbled out of bed, turned off his alarm, and ran throughout the apartment to find his Jinki.

First, he ran up to the door, and upon seeing it shut, he knocked his fist against it rapidly, "Jinki, open up."

There was no answer, however, and Jonghyun found himself being disappointed when he opened the door and the light inside the bathroom wasn't on. Still, he refused to give up and walked into the kitchen to see if the male was lazing around with a mug of coffee in his hands.

He wasn't in the kitchen, and the coffee machine wasn't even on.

Finally, Jonghyun walked into the living room because he knew that Jinki would opt to sleep on the sofa sometimes when he didn't feel well or just needed to be alone for a while. Yet there was no ball huddled off to one side of the sofa, and the television wasn't on either. 

Picking up his cell phone, Jonghyun dialed Jinki's phone number, because he refused to let him go. Not without him, at least. At first he thought he was hearing things when his own voice rang from the bedroom he shared with the elder, but Jonghyun slowly walked back into the bedroom and found Jinki's cell phone on the desk.

Back during the first week that he moved into Jinki's apartment, Jonghyun had hacked onto his phone and recorded himself singing the song he played back when they met at the bar. He knew the elder would like that song, but he didn't expect for Jinki to keep it when he realized what happened. Knowing that he even turned the song into his ringtone had Jonghyun's chest contracting painfully.

Jonghyun slowly pulled his phone away from his ear and hung up the call, his eyes never straying from the desk and the cell phone that was resting on it. What had really caught his attention was the familiar ring he'd given to Jinki on the night of their wedding.

Suddenly, Jonghyun felt tears streaming his cheeks, yet he did nothing to remove them or to make himself feel better. He knew what seeing that ring meant; that Jinki had left him and wasn't planning to come back. Jonghyun didn't want to look at the ring anymore, or to think of Jinki anymore, yet his eyes wouldn't pull away from the ring. Without knowing it, he'd walked forward and stood in front of the desk, his fingers weakly lifting the ring into his grasp.

The next thing he knew, Jonghyun was on his knees with the ring cradled to his chest, loud and violent sobs escaping his lips as he repeatedly told himself it was over; that Jinki was gone, that Jinki didn't want him anymore. He spent hours in the same position, though he knew he had to go to work, though he knew he couldn't live the rest of his life in grief because he had made the deal with Jinki with this in mind.

If he knew how painful it'd be if Jinki left him back then, he would have never allowed himself to make up such a deal. Yet he knew his own hurt logic was wrong, because marrying Lee Jinki was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and if he could choose either Jinki or his career, he'd pick Jinki without another thought.

But it was too late to think of changing it now. His debut was in just a week, and Jinki was probably long gone.

He pushed himself to his feet, finding that his legs were sore from being bent for such a long period of time. It was as he was getting used to being on his feet again that he noticed the note left on the desk for him to read. He didn't want to read it, because he knew what the contents of the letter would be; but he found himself reading every word repeatedly, until he felt like they were imprinted on his skin. He didn't want to think of Jinki saying things like that.

"I didn't give you freedom?" he asked himself, his voice raspy and maybe even a little nasally as he spoke. He was in disbelief because he had actually thought that Jinki loved him all this time, but this note said things that ripped his soul right out of his body, "Being with me leads to heartbreak? I'm strong enough to go on without you? Keep smiling? Find someone else? Don't look for you? Jinki, how could you-"

Before he knew it, another wave of fresh tears had made its way across his face, and Jonghyun had to crumple the paper up so those words would stop taunting him and reminding him that Jinki didn't want him anymore. He'd already been abandoned before; left in an orphanage and forced to depend on no one but himself in a cruel world that eventually caused him to go hungry and homeless. Jinki had saved him, Jinki had become the inspiration for his music, for his smile, for his sleep, for his everything. 

But Jinki was gone, and Jonghyun had no idea what he was supposed to do next. He brought his phone back to his ear, because there was one person he could talk to that could possibly help him understand why he'd suddenly been left behind by the love of his life.

"There better be a good reason as to why you're calling me, Kim Jonghyun. Woo and I are supposed to be meeting our wedding planner soon." 

Jonghyun would have smiled at the tone Kibum was using to speak to him in if it weren't for the fact that Jinki left him.

"Kibum." his voice was still raspy and nasally and he could hear Kibum's sharp intake of breath.

"Are you crying? What did that idiot do to you?" Kibum sounded annoyed and worried as he took in Jonghyun's tone.

"He left me." Jonghyun answered, and then he had to take in deep breaths to calm himself down.

"WHAT?!" Kibum was shouting now, even cursing at Jinki as they spoke. Jonghyun would have stopped him or at least told him to give Jinki the benefit of the doubt, but he was too busy crying.

Kibum demanded to know what happened, and so Jonghyun told him about how Jinki had been acting the night before and then ended the story with the note he'd found on his desk.

"He was crying?" Kibum had stopped shouting, and was speaking softly now, as if he were now more worried about Jinki than Jonghyun.

"What do I do?" Jonghyun asked, running a hand through his hair as panic filled his tone. At the sound of it, Kibum himself didn't know where Jinki could have gone, and Jinki didn't leave a trace of himself behind as he disappeared.

Kibum was quiet for a few minutes before he let out a deep sigh, "All you can do now is get ready for your debut, Jonghyun." He must have sensed that Jonghyun would protest, for he continued on quickly, "I know that idiot well, and if there's even the slightest chance you want him back, you have to work hard and show him exactly what he's missing."

But would Jinki even care? He had left, after all. There's no need for him to show the slightest bit of concern if he left Jonghyun alone like this.

"Change of plans." Kibum's sudden words had Jonghyun snapping out of his thoughts quickly, "We'll be there soon."

Then, Jonghyun was listening to the sound of the dial tone, and he hung up slowly, allowing his phone to drop onto the desk beside Jinki's phone before he slowly walked out of the bedroom. He didn't know who Kibum meant by "we", but any sort of company would be good for him at this time before he could drive himself insane. He unlocked and opened the front door just slightly before he took a seat on the sofa; Jinki's favorite spot, and curled up into a ball.

There, he cried until the front door was swung open, and then Kibum was suddenly holding him, rubbing circles into his back. Kibum wasn't alone; Woohyun was there, along with Minho and Taemin. They'd all worried about Jonghyun and had rushed over immediately after Kibum told them the news. Even Woohyun, who didn't have any personal connections with Jonghyun was there, and Jonghyun felt grateful to the four of them even though it didn't make him feel better at all.

He knew he'd only feel better if it were Jinki holding him.

"I'm sure he'll be back, hyung." that was Taemin's gentle voice speaking, though Jonghyun could hear that even Taemin's voice was wavering as he spoke.

"No he won't!" he found himself being frustrated with himself as he spoke, "He left me because he hates me."

"That's not true and you know it." Kibum's voice was stern as he spoke, just as Jonghyun expected.

He knew it wasn't true, but blaming himself was so much easier than blaming Jinki. Other than not loving Jonghyun anymore, there wasn't another reason for Jinki to leave so suddenly without the hint of him returning. At least, that's what Jonghyun told himself.

"I have a feeling he'll come back." Minho said quietly. Jonghyun didn't know Minho very well, but the tall male was quiet and seemed to only speak when he found it necessary to do so.

"I need him to come back." Jonghyun felt his eyes dry up from the hours of endless crying. He knew he'd be able to cry more later, and he knew he'd end up crying more later, but his energy was spent fully from just the few hours without Jinki, "I can hardly take being without him for a few hours. How can he expect me to be okay for the rest of my life?"

"We'll help you find him." Woohyun promised. Jonghyun knew that he was being sincere, and that he probably could find Jinki. Heck, Minho could probably find Jinki too, since the two of them were influential and probably had enough contacts for that kind of thing.

"No, we have to let him come back on his own." Kibum shook his head to make the rest of them drop the idea, and brought his hand to Jonghyun's hair, rubbing the elder male's head gently.

It felt wrong to be touched by someone other than Jinki, but Jonghyun didn't let out another sound after that and just allowed himself to be given some sort of comfort after he was left behind. He'd follow Kibum's advice to let Jinki come back on his own, but he wouldn't give up on the elder, ever.

He glanced down at the ring he'd once given to Jinki, the same ring he was clinging to even now and would never allow for himself to be separated from. His fingers tightened their grip around it, and his exhausted eyes dropped shut to let the day's events go.

He could only wish to be awakened from this nightmare quickly.