Sorry for such a late update. I've been having trouble getting inspiration to write this, but when I finally decided to sit and write it again, I ended up with this long chapter. It's full of angst and might just be one of my favorite chapters in this fanfic, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Also, please don't kill me for such an angsty chapter. ;A;

Jinki was planning a special holiday treat for Jonghyun. It was Valentine's day, and in his mind spun several different plans that he had a sure feeling Jonghyun would like. Which one he'd be using, however, hadn't been made clear to the elder male. He had woken up earlier than his husband, choosing to spend some time in the morning sitting up in bed with his back against the headboard. It was a more comfortable way for him to gaze at his love, he learned. Jonghyun's silver hair had once again sprawled out onto the pillow, and he was lying on his stomach with his arms tucked close to his body.

As his chest slowly rose and fell, Jinki felt his lips curve into a thoughtful smile. Perhaps it was because a small smile lit Jonghyun's sleeping face, and Jinki wondered of all the things that the younger male could be dreaming of. Jinki reached out slowly, his fingers barely brushing against Jonghyun's cheek before the younger's eye peeled open. The elder was always surprised at how quickly Jonghyun reacted with his touch, and couldn't help but let out a chuckle as the younger himself sat up and leaned against him, a sleepy grin on his lips.

"Good morning." Jinki's voice was soft, as he didn't want to startle Jonghyun with loud speaking the second he woke up. 

Jonghyun reacted by wrapping his arms around Jinki's midsection and resting his head against the elder's shoulder with his eyes already drooping shut. Jinki would have loved to let Jonghyun sleep again, yet it was quickly approaching the time they both had to head off to work and Jonghyun's debut was in less than half a month away.

Jonghyun's voice was thick with sleep and he opened his right eye to gaze up at the elder with the sweetest smile Jinki had ever seen, "Happy Valentine's day, Jinx."

In response, Jinki trailed sweet kisses from Jonghyun's forehead down to his chin, finally ending with a kiss to the younger's lips. Jonghyun laughed lightly as he did so, lamely pushing Jinki's face away with one hand.

"I love you, Jonghyun-ah." It was only the second time Jinki ever told the male he loved him, so Jonghyun's shock was understandable as he stared up at his elder with his sleep successfully driven away.

There was that gaze again, the one that read so many emotions that Jinki couldn't understand fully. He could only hope that Jonghyun loved him as much as Jinki loved Jonghyun, but maybe he was thinking too much into everything. He often thought too much about things relevant to their relationship; like the fact that Jonghyun never seemed to want more than a kiss or a hug. Jinki would have expected for Jonghyun to want more... much more, but he never asked and he never initiated anything.

They never even made love after their first night, and sometimes, Jinki would feel himself sighing because maybe he was doing something wrong and Jonghyun just didn't want to go there with him again.

"Go get ready for work." Jinki had been the first to speak, as he finally had enough of Jonghyun staring at him in such an unnerving way. He turned his gaze away from the younger, yet Jonghyun gently cupped his cheek and turned him back to look at the younger again.

"I love you too." Was all the younger said before his lips landed on the elder's. When he pulled back, Jonghyun's face was red and he was panting, and Jinki knew he was no better.

Jonghyun finally got up and went into the bathroom, and Jinki felt his lips curve into a smirk as he himself got out of bed and ran into the kitchen to start on his Valentine's Day surprise for the younger. He was glad Jonghyun was the type to take hours in the bathroom, because by the time the younger came out of there, Jinki had whipped up a full breakfast for the two of them.

Jinki didn't realize the younger was there at first, of course. He was too busy humming to himself in pride and washing out the pots and pans he'd used to cook their meal. Like a cliché movie scene, Jonghyun walked right up to the elder and wrapped his arms around Jinki, successfully frightening Jinki and then causing him to blush like a teenage girl even though the younger had certainly done that before.

"Is this my Valentine's Day present?" Jonghyun's tone was joking, of course; and his lips were against the back of Jinki's neck, kissing the spots uncovered by his hair or shirt. 

"Sadly, all you can get today is me." Jinki joked right back, though he did feel his body shiver under Jonghyun's touch. He wanted to turn around and just hold the younger, but he'd decided that being held that way was just as comforting and loving. 

"That's not fair. You're my present every time I wake up." Jonghyun's lips frowned against Jinki's skin, and the elder bit back a chuckle at the cheesy words Jonghyun had spoken.

That did make Jinki turn around, his eyebrows raised at the younger's comment, "Does that mean you're happy with me like this?"

Jonghyun pulled back slightly and Jinki almost blushed again at the look Jonghyun was giving him; one that said that yes, Jonghyun was happy with him, and yes, he'd always be happy with him.

"Just go brush your teeth." Jonghyun let go of him and nudged him aside so he can finish washing the rest of the dishes by the time the elder finished his routine.

Unlike Jonghyun, Jinki had his routine done with in under twenty minutes, and the two of them ate their quickly cooling breakfast with a comfortable silence between them. It wouldn't be a proper meal without them glancing at each other like lovesick puppies, however; and that's exactly what they did. Jonghyun was blunt about it and would only look away after Jinki's cheeks reddened while Jinki would only look up when he was sure Jonghyun wasn't looking back at him.

Before they knew it, the two of them had finished breakfast and were now in the company's elevator with their hands intertwined. They weren't stupid enough to hold hands and be affectionate in public, yet they'd do whatever they could when they were sure they were alone to do them. Jinki had walked the younger all the way to his dance lessons and kissed him when no one was looking before hurriedly heading off to their president's office.

It wasn't often that he was called into the office, so Jinki's heart had swelled in worry and he'd made sure to only tell Jonghyun that it was a producer's meeting before they had to split. In case he were to get into trouble, he didn't want Jonghyun to end up worrying about him.

Except, maybe going to the meeting was a bad idea in itself; because it was obvious as to why he'd been called into the office immediately. As soon as he sat down across from the president at his desk, Jinki's eyes flew to the pictures on his desk of a very familiar pair of heads. 

"What is this?" he asked the president in horror. Jinki barely remembered the night he'd first met Jonghyun, yet there were pictures of the two of them kissing rather passionately in front of a little jewelry store.

"The shop had caught you two on a surveillance video," his boss replied, and though the male with the athority didn't look angry, he didn't look very pleased with the situation either. "They sent this to me after noticing Jonghyun's face on some posters of upcoming debuts."

Jinki's hand flew to his hair and he felt his eyes stinging, because a scandal wouldn't look very good at all since Jonghyun's debut was literally just around the corner. Their boss didn't care about relationships or anything, but the fact that Jonghyun and Jinki got married just before Jonghyun was signed into the company would bring about a lot of questions and doubts, plus the fact that the new face of the industry would be married to a male. Face it, the world's not accepting of this new change yet.

"Onew," his boss was obviously aware of the male's inner turmoil and let out a sigh as he stood up and turned towards the window, "tell me the story between you and Jonghyun."

So, Jinki told him everything; from how they met, to how they actually ended up falling for each other.

"Well, he's a pretty smart guy, if the deal wasn't enough proof." the president mused, his arms now crossed over his chest, "A lot of idols use less than honest ways to get into the limelight; it's just that not all of them get exposed. The second Jonghyun's news gets out to the press, he can kiss his career goodbye."

"What if I said... I found out he had a good voice and forced him to marry me so that he could become an idol?" now that he thought about it, Jinki's plan was pretty fool proof, yet the president only turned to him and shook his head.

"It still wouldn't look very good, Onew." the president sat down again and glanced down at the pictures before his eyes flew back to the panicked and utterly devastated male before him, "The only way to keep this all quiet now is... to separate you two."

"Separate?" Jinki's heart shattered with the one word, and he felt some tears making their way down his cheeks, "You mean to divorce him?"

The president shook his head almost immediately and leaned forward to take both of Jinki's hands in his own, squeezing them with assurance, "No, Onew. In time, once Jonghyun is well established, telling the fans about the two of you would be fine... right now, however would be dangerous considering Jonghyun has yet to even debut."

Jinki was surprised by the male before him. He'd never expected the president to even be concerned about any of this, yet he was acting like a father, "Then what should we do?"

Later that night, Jinki took Jonghyun out for dinner at an expensive restaurant on the other side of town. He decided not to tell Jonghyun about the pictures or the meeting, or the fact that he had to leave the younger. Though he only wanted to cry and scream and tell the world to go and screw itself, he couldn't utter a word about it to Jonghyun.

"Jinki, are you okay?" Jonghyun's eyes hadn't left him once during the meal, and Jinki felt his heart shatter again. He didn't realize that Jonghyun was quickly starting to understand everything about Jinki.

"Yeah, I'm just worried." It was true of course, so Jinki decided to steer clear from what was really on his mind to tell Jonghyun about his other great fear, "What if we're not able to be like this again soon?"

Jinki felt his eyes tear up again, but he was quickly pulled out of his thoughts when a chair scratched against the ground and he looked up to see Jonghyun getting out of his chair and quickly crossing over to where the elder was sitting. Without a word, Jonghyun took a necklace of some sort and hooked it around Jinki's neck; and when the elder looked down and saw a gold letter J hanging off his neck, he actually did start to cry.

Jonghyun was startled by this, but turned Jinki around to brush his tears away with gentle of his thumbs, "Nothing's going to change, Jinx. I won't let anyone keep you away from me."

That wasn't helping Jinki try to calm down, but of course the younger wouldn't know that. Jinki just cried harder and kissed Jonghyun with all that he had because that was all he could do before he had to part from the younger.

"I love you, Jonghyun." he muttered as he pulled back, forcing his lips to smile at the younger that just kept staring at him with the same expression he'd given Jinki several times before, "I love you so much."

Jonghyun didn't seem to understand why the elder was crying, but didn't say anything about it and took Jinki home instead. For hours, he tried to calm Jinki down, but every time he tried, Jinki only cried harder. Finally, when it seemed that Jinki had cried himself to sleep, Jonghyun pulled the elder to his chest and let himself fall asleep, though he hadn't realized Jinki was still awake then.

The elder waited for Jonghyun to be deeply asleep before slipping a pillow in between the younger's arms and climbing out of bed. He walked over to the desk sitting in the corner of the room and took out a piece of paper, sitting down and picking up a pen with his shaking hand.

"You promised to let me go free once you became an idol.
You're not there yet, I know, but you have what you want, so please let me have what I want.
Let me be free again, Kim Jonghyun.
Because being with you is wrong, and being with you can only end up in heartbreak.
You'll do well without me, Jonghyun, you have the strength to and the talent to.
Don't let my disappearance ruin all the hard work you put into your debut.
Keep smiling, don't stop singing.
Find someone that you can be a cheesy idiot for.
And most importantly, don't look for me.
Please.
Love
From,
Kim Jinki."

He pulled his ring off and set it on top of the paper before hurriedly grabbing a duffel bag of things he could take with him without waking the younger up. He walked over to Jonghyun and with fresh tears running down his face, he kissed the younger's forehead; and then he was gone.

Then, he was alone again in a world without Kim Jonghyun.