This chapter was cowritten by royalvelvet

The weather outside was frightful. That was the first thought Jinki had when he checked out the window one morning. It was well into winter, so it was to be expected. He didn’t want to leave the comfort of his bed but he had to remember he was a married adult whose husband and client had a full day of schedules to go through. Jinki didn't glance at the male who was actually not asleep but looking at Jinki rather than the window and let out a deep sigh.

"I'm going to cancel your schedules. There's no way we're going out in that blizzard." He was more concerned about Jonghyun's health since he was sleeping less and practicing more.

Jonghyun didn't speak, but Jinki could just feel him nod before the elder walked away with another soft sigh, escaping the comfort of the bedroom they shared together.

After the first kiss they shared while sober, Jinki couldn't help but get awkward around him and constantly avoid him, especially after he realized his true feelings toward the younger. Jonghyun looked betrayed by this, of course, since the man that had kissed him back was suddenly scurrying away from him like he was the plague. But Jinki didn't have the energy to worry about the younger's feelings, nor did he have the courage. After telling himself not to fall for Jonghyun for over six months, he had actually fallen for the male.

With his phone pressed against his ear using his shoulder, Jinki walked into the kitchen and made himself a mug of coffee to wake himself up. He wasn't able to calm his thoughts, though. Jinki had had the strength to yank himself away from their kiss and move away from Jonghyun, but he seemed to lack the strength to keep the same Jonghyun out of his thoughts.

Jinki permanently slept on the floor now, near the window, and Jonghyun kept the bed, albeit reluctantly. Jonghyun looked a little frustrated by this, but he never voiced a complaint and gave Jinki the space he needed while never letting Jinki out of his sight.

Their home was thick with tension, but neither spoke to each other and neither brought up the kiss. In fact, the only times they spoke to each other were when Onew needed to remind Jonghyun of whatever schedule they needed to get through that day. It was killing Jinki, but he preferred to ignore it and fake living happily than accept it and be rejected by the younger.

But on this particular morning, Jinki's body was sore, his mind was racing, and his lungs were battling for air. As he drank his coffee, Jinki realized he had never felt so sick in his life.

Perhaps it was from stress, or maybe he caught something contagious, but Jinki's entire body screamed at him from early in the morning, forcing him to put down his coffee and run to the nearest toilet to vomit everything he'd eaten the day before. With an unsettled state of mind and stomach pain, Jinki went and curled himself into a ball on the couch, hoping that when Jonghyun left the bedroom, he wouldn't ask too many questions.

He must have dozed off on the couch, because the next thing he knew, Jonghyun was sitting on the ground next to the couch with a palm against Jinki's forehead, a worried crease in his eyebrows, "Jinki, you're burning up."

"I'll be fine." Jinki muttered, swatting weakly at Jonghyun's hand and turning his body away to get more sleep, "You'll have to get food on your own, I can't cook right now."

"I don't care about that." Jonghyun snapped, his tone holding worry and not anger, "Come on, go sleep on the bed."

Jinki turned back around and frowned, his shirt clinging to his skin due to sweat, "Why are you so suddenly worried about me? I can take care of myself."

Jonghyun ignored him and got up. He bent down and picked up Jinki in his arms, the elder looking up at him in surprise at his strength. Jinki struggled lightly, stating that his legs worked perfectly fine and that he didn't even need to go to the bed, but Jonghyun ignored him once again and brought him to the bed.

"But I'll get my germs all over the blanket and then you'll get sick!" Jinki sputtered, squirming once more and hoping the younger would finally put him down.

"Then you can take care of me." Jonghyun's tone was light, but when Jinki looked up at him, the worry in Jonghyun's eyes increased, and he quickly wrapped Jinki in the bed's blankets.

 He disappeared for a few minutes with Jinki's gaze following him until he returned with a cold towel. He quickly pressed the cold towel onto Jinki's forehead, despite the elder's complaints, and then sat down on the floor once more and traced Jinki's face using his fingertips, "What would you like to eat?"

"I don't want anything." Jinki said stubbornly, as he knew he would just end up in the bathroom once more.

"You have to eat something, Jinki." Jonghyun's voice was soft and maybe even slightly fearful as his eyes swept over the elder's face like his fingers, seemingly to memorize every inch of how Jinki looked. There was another emotion swimming around in his eyes, and though Jinki couldn't figure out what it was, he had seen Woohyun giving Kibum a similar look once before.

For a moment, Jinki's own heart swelled, and he stared in awe at Jonghyun's natural good looks. Jinki wouldn't be able to look as handsome no matter what he tried. Jonghyun's scent was now stronger than his own scent in the apartment, and the blankets wrapped around him smelled just so much like the younger that Jinki couldn't help but shrink into them further.

Jinki shook his head slowly, his eyes starting to drop shut, "I'll just end up throwing it up."

"I know what to make you, then." Jonghyun's eyes brightened slightly, and Jinki forced his eyes to stay open as he took in the younger's brightness, "It's a soup I made myself whenever I got sick."

Before he could disagree, Jonghyun stood up and quickly walked off to the kitchen, and Jinki almost frowned when remembering the last thing Jonghyun had made. As he waited, Jinki let his eyes shut and forced his ears to stay on alert to make sure nothing in the kitchen broke, especially a certain young male. Just as he drifted off, Jonghyun returned with a tray holding a bowl of hot soup, and the younger placed the tray on the bedside table as he woke Jinki and helped him sit up.

"Where did you learn to make this?" Jinki couldn't help but ask as he warily stared at the bowl of soup, having no intention of eating it.

Jonghyun sighed and lifted a spoonful, blowing at it gently before bringing it to Jinki's lips, "Well, I had no one to take care of me when I was sick, so I had to do it myself."

Obediently, Jinki ate spoonful after spoonful of the soup while listening to Jonghyun's explanation. Sometimes, it was hard for him to remember that Jonghyun had been alone for so long, as he was so social and so happy when he saw the younger.

"It tastes good." Jinki commented, and he wasn't lying in the slightest. Although his stomach was still upset and his body felt strange, he had to admit that he felt slightly soothed.

"Thanks." There was the slightest trace of a blush on Jonghyun's cheeks as he spoke, and Jinki stared up at the male as he was fed. Jonghyun was obviously aware of his stares, because his lips quirked up into a smirk. The younger waited until all the soup was gone to move the tray and look back into Jinki's eyes, "What? Are you falling for me because I'm being such a good husband?"

Jinki's brain must have been more out of it than he realized, because he found his heart pounding at the question, and before he could even realize what was going on, he nodded his head lightly, "Yes, I am."

Jonghyun froze slightly, and Jinki quickly laid back down and turned over, finally realizing the weight of the words he'd spoken.

"J-Jinki..." Jonghyun obviously wanted Jinki's attention for a little longer, but Jinki refused to move at all, and with a sigh, Jonghyun stood up and grabbed the tray from the table, "Alright. You get some rest and I'll... go."

The elder wanted to tell him to stay, but he couldn't trust his words after what he'd just said. So, Jinki simply forced himself to fall back asleep. When he woke up next, Jonghyun was on the ground, resting against the bed with his cheek pressed against the top of the mattress.

Jinki didn't feel much better, but he felt bad for making Jonghyun take care of him for so long, so he reached out and gently caressed Jonghyun's cheek. With just one , Jonghyun's eyes pried open and he stared at Jinki in worry and curiosity.

"Are you alright?" Jonghyun's voice was raspy, but it only brought a small smile to Jinki's face as he thought of a plan.

Jinki shook his head lightly, "I'm still really cold."

"I'll get more blank-" Before he could get up and walk to the closet, Jinki's hand shot out and grasped his wrist.

"Just sleep with me."

After a few moments of hesitant thinking, Jonghyun nodded and climbed into bed. Jinki expected him to simply wrap his arms around the elder's blankets, but Jonghyun had taken it upon himself to slip into the blanket and hold Jinki tightly, bringing them both a perfect amount of heat.

"If I repeated the things you told me to do when your mind is clear, you'd certainly kill me." Jonghyun chuckled, his hand gently rubbing the elder's back.

"Only if you tease me." Jinki said simply, lightly poking Jonghyun's side.

Jonghyun was silent for a few moments before he pulled back slightly in order to look Jinki in the eyes, "Did you mean what you said?"

The elder knew what Jonghyun was saying immediately, "I'm scared of loving you, Jonghyun. Don't forget that you'll be an idol soon, which means you can have anyone you-"

The elder was quickly cut off by Jonghyun's lips, and the younger pulled back with passion and anger showing in his eyes, "I told you before, Jinki. I wouldn't want to be with anyone other than you."

Jinki wanted to turn away, but instead, a soft whimper escaped his lips. He could feel his eyes tear up slightly, and he shook his head, "I don't even know if I can believe you-"

"Why not, Jinki?!" Jonghyun sat up abruptly and turned his back to Jinki, with his shoulders dropped low, "You say I tease you a lot, and maybe I do, but have I ever treated you badly since we've gotten married? Have I ever made it look like I wasn't willing or hoping to be with you forever?"

The elder was struck speechless from Jonghyun's words. He'd never been lashed at like this, but instead of frightened, he felt guilty for not giving Jonghyun the chance he deserved.

"What are you trying to say?" Jinki slowly pulled himself up and rested against the headboard.

Jonghyun turned around, and Jinki almost cried at seeing the vulnerability in his eyes, "I hate not holding you as we sleep at night, I hate it when you distance yourself away from me, I hate it when you're physically close to me but mentally oceans away." Jonghyun reached out and gently cupped Jinki's face in his hands, "I... I love you, Jinki."

Hearing those words, Jinki knew just how sincere Jonghyun was being about his feelings, and he leaned forward to kiss him desperately. When he pulled back, he lightly covered Jonghyun's hands with his own, "I love you too, Jonghyun."