Too Quiet For Her Own Good
Her Wings [HIATUS]
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Zhang Jinyi. Age sixteen. Junior in high school. I'm "too quiet for my own good," according to my aunt Sarang.
When I was five years old, my father and mother ran away one day and left me all alone in our apartment. For four days, I lived alone and never told anyone about my parent's disappearance. On the morning of day five, my aunt and uncle found me all by myself in the apartment, eating cup noodles. Ever since then, I've been living with Aunt Sarang and Uncle Luhan. They've treated me like their own kid.
I don't hate my mom and dad. But it makes me angry as to why they left me with a lie. They said they were going to work and would be back quickly. They never came back. Ever since then, they gave me no clue as to where they went. For eleven years I've been searching for any sight of them. And for eleven years I've had this ill feeling in my heart when I think of them.
Aunt Sarang works as a picture book artist for story books and she has a teaching license so she helps out teachers a lot at her and my old elementary school. Uncle Luhan works at a big electronic company, so they aren't short on money or anything. But when they both decided to take care of me, they moved into a house near the apartment my parents and I used to live in before they disappeared. Aunt Sarang said it was because she knew they were coming back some day. I always thought that they were crazy for moving out of their large condo in Seoul just to wait for my parents to come back. It was somewhat because of the large sacrifice for my sake, but mostly because I thought my parents would never come back at all, no matter how long we waited.
Despite being left behind by my own parents, I've lived quite a normal home life being with Aunt Sarang and Uncle Luhan. Except for the fact that I've been discovering these weird things about me I've never seen before.
It started when I was ten years old. It was New Years Eve when I decided to launch a firework out my window without Aunt Sarang watching. But at the moment I lit the end of the firework that was still in my hand, Uncle Luhan and Aunt Sarang began yelling the countdown starting from ten. And you know what happened? I was so startled from their sudden shouting that I didn't throw the firework out the window like I was supposed to. It launched out of my hands and lit my body with sparks. The thing went up in the air, but as it exploded tremendous colors in the sky, it gave me the most painful wounds and burns I've ever felt. But as fast as the firework shot out of my hand, the wounds sealed themselves back up, like they had never even been there in the first place. A second later, Aunt Sarang burst into my room, yelling about the new year. I wonder how she would have felt to greet the new year with hospital bills.
Another thing happened when I was around twelve. By the time I got into middle school, I had already started developing this mindset that I shouldn't talk or be friends with anyone because of the risk of them knowing my secrets. The fact that my parents left me and my body could heal itself in a matter of seconds was too risky to tell anyone. I was also never the type of girl to play the victim, so a lot of people hated me for that. Especially the other girls in my class. They decided one day that it would be a great idea to glue my locker shut while I was in the gym so I couldn't get my uniform and bag afterwords. I came into the locker room after running a mile hearing them laughing grossly at their own prank. From then on, I knew something was up. I knew I was right by the way all of them quieted down when I walked in. They were all staring at me and smirking to each other. Such a good way to seem unsuspicious, right? Anyway, when I stood in front of my locker, I prepared myself for any that would fly into my face the second I opened the door. But to my surprise, the thing wouldn't budge after I entered my combination and pulled down the latch. That was when I realized that they did something to secure the door in place. But for some reason, instead of getting angry, I just pulled on the door a second time, and it flew open. Like the whole door came off its hinges. I swear, I'm not joking. By the screams of all the girls in the room, there was no denying it. Instead of smirks and scowls, I turned around to see all of them cowering in fear. I didn't blame them. The locker was sealed with fast drying cement.
The year after that, I started hearing voices in my head. I wasn't going schizophrenic. Last time I checked, I was mentally stable. But those voices I heard were so real. Because they were actual thoughts of the real people around me. I was reading into other people's minds, or rather, I could hear their thoughts. Even my teacher's. I was prepared for a pop quiz a week before my teacher even announced it. I knew that the girl who sat next to me in math really liked B.A.P, even though she told everyone that liking idols was for children. I even knew that the waiter at the restaurant across the street had a secret thing for my neighbor. But while it was fun listening to people's weird secrets, you could also hear things you would never want to hear in your life. Hurtful things, personal things, gross things-- I've heard a lot of it. And not only is my hearing that good, but my sight's extremely well, too. I would panic when I saw a car coming up from behind Uncle Luhan's car when he would drive. He would never see it, because it would always be three kilometers away, but it always seemed like 3 centimeters away from hitting our car's bumper. After a couple of months, I learned to ignore the thoughts of other people and to only listen to them when I want to. My sight though, has never changed.
And the last thing I actually just discovered recently. It's kinda useless in my opinion. But it's still kinda cool.
"Would Aunt Sarang like strawberry or banana milk?" I was talking to myself one day as I was in the dairy section of the supermarket. For some reason I can't just think about my thoughts. I have to say them. A couple days ago, I discovered that it's easier to say things than to think about them, or else I can't listen to what everyone else is thinking. School had just finished when I decided to go grocery shopping for snacks.
I was trying to decide which flavored milk to get when I suddenly heard a deep voice behind me,
"Do you need any help?"
I admit that I wanted to my pants. Not because the guy was scary or anything. Because when I turned around, I saw this dude holding a broom with orangeish-brown hair with the face of a twelve year old. He was cute though, in a childish way. He really surprised me though.
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When I was five years old, my father and mother ran away one day and left me all alone in our apartment. For four days, I lived alone and never told anyone about my parent's disappearance. On the morning of day five, my aunt and uncle found me all by myself in the apartment, eating cup noodles. Ever since then, I've been living with Aunt Sarang and Uncle Luhan. They've treated me like their own kid.
I don't hate my mom and dad. But it makes me angry as to why they left me with a lie. They said they were going to work and would be back quickly. They never came back. Ever since then, they gave me no clue as to where they went. For eleven years I've been searching for any sight of them. And for eleven years I've had this ill feeling in my heart when I think of them.
Aunt Sarang works as a picture book artist for story books and she has a teaching license so she helps out teachers a lot at her and my old elementary school. Uncle Luhan works at a big electronic company, so they aren't short on money or anything. But when they both decided to take care of me, they moved into a house near the apartment my parents and I used to live in before they disappeared. Aunt Sarang said it was because she knew they were coming back some day. I always thought that they were crazy for moving out of their large condo in Seoul just to wait for my parents to come back. It was somewhat because of the large sacrifice for my sake, but mostly because I thought my parents would never come back at all, no matter how long we waited.
Despite being left behind by my own parents, I've lived quite a normal home life being with Aunt Sarang and Uncle Luhan. Except for the fact that I've been discovering these weird things about me I've never seen before.
It started when I was ten years old. It was New Years Eve when I decided to launch a firework out my window without Aunt Sarang watching. But at the moment I lit the end of the firework that was still in my hand, Uncle Luhan and Aunt Sarang began yelling the countdown starting from ten. And you know what happened? I was so startled from their sudden shouting that I didn't throw the firework out the window like I was supposed to. It launched out of my hands and lit my body with sparks. The thing went up in the air, but as it exploded tremendous colors in the sky, it gave me the most painful wounds and burns I've ever felt. But as fast as the firework shot out of my hand, the wounds sealed themselves back up, like they had never even been there in the first place. A second later, Aunt Sarang burst into my room, yelling about the new year. I wonder how she would have felt to greet the new year with hospital bills.
Another thing happened when I was around twelve. By the time I got into middle school, I had already started developing this mindset that I shouldn't talk or be friends with anyone because of the risk of them knowing my secrets. The fact that my parents left me and my body could heal itself in a matter of seconds was too risky to tell anyone. I was also never the type of girl to play the victim, so a lot of people hated me for that. Especially the other girls in my class. They decided one day that it would be a great idea to glue my locker shut while I was in the gym so I couldn't get my uniform and bag afterwords. I came into the locker room after running a mile hearing them laughing grossly at their own prank. From then on, I knew something was up. I knew I was right by the way all of them quieted down when I walked in. They were all staring at me and smirking to each other. Such a good way to seem unsuspicious, right? Anyway, when I stood in front of my locker, I prepared myself for any that would fly into my face the second I opened the door. But to my surprise, the thing wouldn't budge after I entered my combination and pulled down the latch. That was when I realized that they did something to secure the door in place. But for some reason, instead of getting angry, I just pulled on the door a second time, and it flew open. Like the whole door came off its hinges. I swear, I'm not joking. By the screams of all the girls in the room, there was no denying it. Instead of smirks and scowls, I turned around to see all of them cowering in fear. I didn't blame them. The locker was sealed with fast drying cement.
The year after that, I started hearing voices in my head. I wasn't going schizophrenic. Last time I checked, I was mentally stable. But those voices I heard were so real. Because they were actual thoughts of the real people around me. I was reading into other people's minds, or rather, I could hear their thoughts. Even my teacher's. I was prepared for a pop quiz a week before my teacher even announced it. I knew that the girl who sat next to me in math really liked B.A.P, even though she told everyone that liking idols was for children. I even knew that the waiter at the restaurant across the street had a secret thing for my neighbor. But while it was fun listening to people's weird secrets, you could also hear things you would never want to hear in your life. Hurtful things, personal things, gross things-- I've heard a lot of it. And not only is my hearing that good, but my sight's extremely well, too. I would panic when I saw a car coming up from behind Uncle Luhan's car when he would drive. He would never see it, because it would always be three kilometers away, but it always seemed like 3 centimeters away from hitting our car's bumper. After a couple of months, I learned to ignore the thoughts of other people and to only listen to them when I want to. My sight though, has never changed.
And the last thing I actually just discovered recently. It's kinda useless in my opinion. But it's still kinda cool.
"Would Aunt Sarang like strawberry or banana milk?" I was talking to myself one day as I was in the dairy section of the supermarket. For some reason I can't just think about my thoughts. I have to say them. A couple days ago, I discovered that it's easier to say things than to think about them, or else I can't listen to what everyone else is thinking. School had just finished when I decided to go grocery shopping for snacks.
I was trying to decide which flavored milk to get when I suddenly heard a deep voice behind me,
"Do you need any help?"
I admit that I wanted to my pants. Not because the guy was scary or anything. Because when I turned around, I saw this dude holding a broom with orangeish-brown hair with the face of a twelve year old. He was cute though, in a childish way. He really surprised me though.
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