IT TOOK CHANYEOL 5 MINUTES TO ASK BAEKHYUN

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Said Baekhyun with a smile. Chanyeol looked at him and the smile was glued on his face, but Baekhyun liked it.

“Oh, that’s good.” Chanyeol replied immediately, gaiety eating him as he knew that he could ask Baekhyun out. Baekhyun kept his smile but Chanyeol then realized what he said, “Oh! But I’m not happy that you have no boyfriend, I mean I am happy… but because that only means I have a chance. And I don’t  mean it, no, it’s not good that you’re alone… it’s just asdjigfndif---“ Chanyeol didn’t know how to explain this. He bit his lips to say no more because he knew his tongue would tangle as he still tried to explain what was going on in his mind.

Baekhyun then cut him off, “No, it’s okay, really. I don’t think of that anyway.” And they stared at each other for a good 1 minute. Then Baekhyun went to go to the interview since they’re calling number 55. Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a smile before going in for the interview. Chanyeol then smiled to himself now that he’s sure that Baekhyun didn’t have a boyfriend. And he had a chance.

He knew he liked Baekhyun that time, then he should make a move, and that question, Chanyeol thought, was already the start. It still took Baekhyun more than 5 seconds to answer Chanyeol, so Chanyeol thought, What if, in reality and inside him, he doesn’t like me? What if he just answered my question because he has to, not that he wanted to?

Chanyeol thought of many possibilities. But Baekhyun liking him was a possibility too. And hell, he’ll never know if he won’t try, Baekhyun could tell him that he didn’t like him from the start of their conversation, right? If he didn’t like Chanyeol, Baekhyun could’ve just ignored him. Many things came into Chanyeol’s mind. But only one was its subject, and it was Byun Baekhyun.

But he knew, Chanyeol knew, he liked Baekhyun. Maybe, Baekhyun will give him a chance. How would he know that? Then, I’ll try.

Soon after Baekhyun walked out the office, seeing Baekhyun’s smile, Chanyeol immediately lighten up. Chanyeol immediately knew that he could and he would make a move, even in 5 years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, or seconds. Chanyeol then walked to Baekhyun.

“Smiling, are we?” Chanyeol greeted the startled one.  Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol, asking what the matter was. Chanyeol then heard his number. He immediately looked at Baekhyun who was expecting something Chanyeol didn’t know. “C-can I ask for your e-mail?”

In 5 seconds, Baekhyun wrote down his e-mail on a piece of paper quickly for Chanyeol’s number was being shouted all over the place. He gave Chanyeol the piece of paper and left the smiling one.

For 5 minutes, Chanyeol was smiling like an idiot that the interviewer noticed this. “A-are you alright, Mr. Park Chanyeol?” The guy who probably was the owner of the company asked him.

Chanyeol nodded and woke up from his thoughts, he handed the papers in his hands. The guy Kim Junmyeon then read Park Chanyeol’s papers and eyed Chanyeol suspiciously like he was looking at a thief.

“Your grades are high, and you had good experience for 4 years, but one year of unemployment. Reason?” he lowered his eyeglasses to look at the guy in front of him, at Chanyeol.

“Uhm, I didn’t resign but I was fired because of tardiness?” Chanyeol looked like he was thinking, when he was not.

“One year of unemployment, reason?” the guy repeated, and Chanyeol guessed he didn’t answer the guy’s question.

“I think I don’t support my needs that much. And there’s nothing else to do, having part time jobs or whatever don’t even help me. I want more.” Chanyeol said, and Junmyeon didn’t know if the tardiness was the real reason this Park Chanyeol was fired, maybe, it was because of his attitude, can Junmyeon change this? Junmyeon wanted challenge.

“We’ll e-mail you after some weeks.” But really, Junmyeon has decided.

“Thank you Mr. Kim.” Chanyeol nodded and shook Junmyeon’s hand.

IT TOOK JONGDAE 5 HOURS TO WAIT FOR CHANYEOL

And he’s hella pissed off. Jongdae, when he saw Chanyeol for a second, immediately went to him to give him a punch on the stomach. “I waited for you for many hours Chanyeol! you! Where did you go?!” Jongdae was really angry.

Chanyeol glared at Jongdae for he didn’t have to hurt him, his curses were enough. “I forgot, okay? But hell, I saw some pretty guy.”

“The guy 55.” Jongdae guessed and he was right. How did Jongdae know? “I saw you two talking to each other for an hour, hell, Chanyeol, you’re so gay and you’re looking at him like a maniac.”

“As if I know that!” Chanyeol said and didn’t care what his reaction was all the time he was talking to Baekhyun. “Baekhyun is the name. Byun Baekhyun.”

Jongdae didn’t care; he rolled his eyes as he got in the line to get lunch. Chanyeol kept talking about Baekhyun while Jongdae told the waiter his order. They walked in a table and started eating while Baekhyun looked like he was the one who’s with Jongdae.

“Done with that bacon, just tell me how your interview went.”  Jongdae didn’t need to know Chanyeol’s love life, and Chanyeol didn’t need to know Jongdae’s too. Jongdae will never fall in love, Chanyeol guaranteed that.

“I don’t care. If they won’t hire me, then don’t. There could be some other companies who would accept me.” Chanyeol shrugged and looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. Jongdae somehow knew it, because Chanyeol wanted to talk about that Baekhyun guy.

“I really don’t know Chanyeol but aren’t you afraid that no one might hire you?” Jongdae was only concerned with Chanyeol’s future, he didn’t know why, but he just cared. Maybe because he saw Chanyeol for almost 10 years, not having anyone come into his life, even his family, was Chanyeol weird? Or didn’t want to depend on others? But who was this Baekhyun guy?

“In 5 years, that could happen, but uh-uh, Jongdae, not forever, and I know that.” Chanyeol was sure of that. And it was the truth. Chanyeol just needed some needs and wants. Jongdae can only nod.

“Back to this Baekhyun guy, why are you so hooked up with him? I’m not used to it.” Jongdae shrugged and was thinking what kind of guy was Baekhyun that he caught Chanyeol’s attention.

“I really don’t know and I don’t care what the reason why is. I just felt like I need something new, so he is it. Then I thought he was just like the other guys, but he was different--“ and he was cut off by Jongdae who shouted like he just discovered something new about Chanyeol. “As if you can tell that, you even haven’t dated at least a guy!”

Chanyeol then clarified it to Jongdae, “No! It’s not like that. He is different, I know it. Or maybe he is ordinary… I haven’t met an ordinary person though.” Chanyeol shrugged and Jongdae didn’t like what’s going on Chanyeol’s mind. Having Chanyeol, who was a unique guy, being caught by this Baekhyun guy… not ordinary?! Jongdae opposed, but he didn’t tell Chanyeol, because he knew Chanyeol won’t like it.

“You’re proud Chanyeol… boastful is a better word.” Jongdae said since it’s usual for Jongdae to say those things to Chanyeol.

“I know, and I chose a wrong word. He’s not ordinary. He’s something, and I don’t know it yet. But I want to, something new, something ordinary that other people usually experience.” Chanyeol was thinking.

“Love? You’re gay, Chanyeol!” Jongdae was going crazy hearing these words were coming from this guy.

“As if you’re not! You know that bun! I know you noticed him! You wanted to eat him!” Chanyeol exclaimed, not minding how many people heard the things he was saying, thus, the judgmental eyes and thoughts.

“Shut up Chanyeol. I don’t know who that guy is!” Jongdae rolled his eyes, but heat was creeping on his cheeks. “I don’t even see who’re you talking wit--“

“Hell Jongdae, you just told me earlier that you saw me looking at Baekhyun like a maniac, you ing liar!” Chanyeol was laughing, for he got Jongdae this time. Jongdae surely liked the guy, and Chanyeol knew that from that day onwards, they’d experience something new.

And that day started now, Chanyeol decided, but Jongdae opposed, “But how are you supposed to that Baekhyun guy when you do--“

Chanyeol threw a piece of rice to Jongdae, “I won’t him like the other people do. Look, I got his e-mail addres--“

Jongdae rolled his eyes, “Yuck Chanyeol, that won’t even work? Cyber ? Just hell Chanyeol!”

“And I want to slap you right now Jongdae, I don’t know you have those thoughts in mind! I won’t do cyber and you know that! Chat! Chat! It’ll start at that!” Chanyeol clarified it to Jongdae, not minding the things that have gotten in his mind because of what Jongdae was saying.

“That won’t work, online relationship? You don’t even know what he was actually doing, and that’s dangerous Chanyeol. You don’t know what his thoughts are while you’re typing words of love to reply to him, he can laugh at you, and he can tell that you’re so dumb for believing in all the things he was saying in chat. It can hurt you.”

“That’s one of the many possibilities, and Baekhyun replying to my messages is also one of it. Baekhyun is not that kind of person, I know that.” Chanyeol was sure of that. And Jongdae thought that Chanyeol was just so in love or so hooked up with this Baekhyun guy for now… maybe in 5 weeks, but not in 5 years, and Jongdae was sure of that.

“And how are you so sure of that?” Jongdae then challenges Chanyeol.

“Because of my shoes!” Chanyeol exclaimed, and he was so happy, Jongdae can see it. And now that he realized it, Chanyeol was maybe not an extraordinary person like what he saw in himself, Chanyeol was crazy.

“You played footsies with him?” Jongdae asked, and it’s time for our crazy Chanyeol to laugh at Jongdae, ridiculous kind of thinking.

“You may want to Kim Junmyeon on his own desk, with those flying papers flying around.” Chanyeol said, opposing that Jongdae was attracted to that bun.

“ you Chanyeol.” and there Jongdae was caught. “You should’ve seen how he was so arrogant.” Jongdae groaned, realizing how mad that Kim Junmyeon was. “I know he judged you too Chanyeol, you just didn’t care. But hell, with those eyes and glasses, I know how those people are thinking.”

“Yeah, great minds think alike.” Chanyeol said as he took the last spoonful of the food he was eating. And saying that with his own mind, Chanyeol then realized how Baekhyun answered him earlier, again, his smile appeared.

And Jongdae knew the reason for that smile, “I told you Chnyeol, that’s only for today. You’ll forget about him too. Like how you almost forgot the interview today.”

“I’m sorry, okay? Sorry, but I choose what I want to--“

“Yeah, you’re a spoiled brat, I understand.”

But Jongdae didn’t because he didn’t feel what Chanyeol felt, “I choose what I want to remember, and I’m choosing Baekhyun.” Chen can only roll his eyes. That will never work.

“That’s impossible Chanyeol, especially when he won’t be replying to all your messages, I know Chanyeol, I also became an ordinary person, like how ordinary that Baekhyun guy is.”

“Baekhyun is not ordinary. And I realized it in 5 minutes.” Chanyeol was expecting something. But after 5 seconds with the usual poker face Jongdae has, he realized that, “Baekhyun is really different.” With his smile, Jongdae thought Chanyeol will be hurt so much.

Chanyeol started e-mailing Baekhyun’s address, 

He emailed Baekhyun 2 times that day, introducing himself as Park Chanyeol.

Byun Baekhyun

Hello Baekhyun, how are you? I am Park Chanyeol, the one you met in the interview, I hope you remember me. Because I remember you. But it’s not that you’re required to… oh, it rhymes, haha, okay, never mind.

I hope we’ll get in touch, I really like the way how you talk to me. You’re different. E-mail me in this address if ever you read this. Please reply!

Park Chanyeol

Chanyeol expected something but in 5 hours, he was disappointed too. But he’ll never give up. In 5 years, 5 months, 5 weeks… that is.

Chanyeol didn’t know if he’s just desperate, but he emailed Baekhyun’s e-mail every 2 hours a day. Or we could say that Baekhyun’s e-mail became his diary.

5:34 AM

Byun Baekhyun

You know what, I didn’t do something this day. I’m not bored though. I’m used to this life, but I wanted something new. Please reply? I hope you’ll have a good day.

Park Chanyeol.

7:54 AM

Byun Baekhyun

I can’t think properly, my mind is blank. I really don’t know what to do this day. I am waiting for your reply and not everyone else, or that company. I want your reply though. Because you’re the only one who knew what happened to me that week. I did rap, do you remember what I told you? That’s our secret, right? Don’t ever tell anyone else about that, okay?

Park Chanyeol

3:40 PM

Byun Baekhyun

Hi! Good afternoon. Look, Jongdae, my friend, just told me to wake up, but I’m awake! Do you get what he was saying? He’s not weird but he really thinks a lot, sometimes, deeper than the sea, deeper than what we can see. Sometimes, I admire him for that, but I always hate him for that. He thinks he’s not ordinary, but I know, he just wants to Kim Junmyeon. Hey, do you remember who that Kim Junmyeon is? He’s the one who interviewed us that day! May 5, 2005, okay, how did I remember that? Because it was yesterday! Today is May 6, 2005, do you even know it? Okay, I’m weird. Haha!

Please reply though. And hi! I wanted to talk to you! I hope you’re feeling alright!

Park Chanyeol

Chanyeol sent Baekhyun 11 e-mails that 24 hours. How weird he was? Jongdae can only sigh as he took in Chanyeol’s internet history in his laptop. In Jongdae’s laptop! And hell, Chanyeol was the one to get mad at him for not letting him use his laptop! How crazy Chanyeol was?! It was Jongdae’s laptop! Did Chanyeol know that? Probably not, because Chanyeol was being weird, “Really weird!!” Jongdae shouted as soon as Chanyeol slammed his door from the outside. And yeah, because he had read Chanyeol’s e-mail to Baekhyun 3:40 PM.

05-07-05

1:02 PM

Byun Baekhyun

It’s me again! Can you get this e-mail? Or did I have the wrong e-mail? Argh, this is so embarrassing if this is someone else’s e-mail, but then, just… thank you for reading this messages, (if you are reading this) Am I weird? This is the first time I’m doing this. But is it alright? I’m making your e-mail address my diary? But it feels right though, especially when I know that you’ll be reading this. Maybe not in 5 seconds. 5 minutes, but 5 days, hopefully.

Park Chanyeol.

3:42 PM

Byun Baekhyun

I almost forgot to close the stove, oh my gosh, what if my house get burned? Are you willing to adopt me? Haha, I’m not crazy Baekhyun please believe me. I’m sorry for being weird. I just don’t know what to do really.

Okay, I’m crazy. I’m getting crazy in waiting for your reply. It’s been 2 days Baekhyun… well; I wanted your shoes haha. But it’s not with you anymore, should I buy you the same design as that pair of shoes have? I’m willing, just reply though. I’ll do that. Annyeong!

Park Chanyeol

6:43 PM

Byun Baekhyun

Okay, I said something weird earlier, it’s like I’m paying you to reply to me, okay, I’ll clarify this to you… I dont mean it in that way. I’m sorry if that offend you. Sorry Baekhyun… But I hope you don’t take it seriously. Can I sigh? I would be really happy if you’ll reply to me though. So that I’ll stop thinking that I’m talking to no one. Because I know you are something. You are someone.

Park Chanyeol

05-09-05

8:12 AM

Byun Baekhyun

Hey, do you know what? I have this guy whom I chatted to while you’re not yet replying to any words I say, our topic was about love. Haha, because he was the one who asked me first, then he opposed me, then I opposed him. And hell, we’re just lucky that I didn’t throw my laptop, but since it’s his problem, I thought I didn’t care.

But now that I’m telling you this, I guess I cared. Even just for 5 seconds, 5 minutes, or even the whole time we chatted, because that time, he was everything, that time, that Do Kyungsoo was everything, my attention was on his, all of my thoughts was on the things he was saying. The world was only ours, that’s the way how I felt it, but I don’t know if that’s the way how he felt it. And maybe, I’m the only one who’s feeling this way.

Can I know how you feel? Tell me something? Tell me something about you that I don’t know that everyone knows.

Park Chanyeol

10:34 AM

Byun Baekhyun

Let’s start?

I’m Park Chanyeol, 25 years old, November 27 is my birthday, how about you?

Well, I graduated architecture and had high grades and that made me a good architect for 4 years… or maybe not a good architect… and I was not a good student, you couldn’t say I’m delinquent, I just really didn’t care because it’s not my life. But now… I want to care, because I wanted to be someone’s life too, like what others feel. Have you felt it too? Have you fallen in love? Can you tell me what love is? Because I didn’t know but I want to. So I would know how to love and how to be hurt. I’m ready though, or maybe not, because I haven’t felt it yet. Okay, but I want to be ready for love. I don’t know why, I want something new. I don’t want to be alone.

But now that I haven’t got a reply from you, I don’t know, am I feeling alone? Am I missing you? It’s just an hour with you. But I want to have 5 more hours… or 5 more days, or even 5 more weeks. Can you give me that? I’m feeling frustrated here.

Park Chanyeol

12:23 PM

Byun Baekhyun

Okay, I got mad earlier when writing that message, sorry. But I really want to read your reply. I’ll be waiting for it. But hey, I’ll continue to what I’m saying earlier.

I have a sister, she’s older than me, but I don’t care. I’m still a child of my parents. My parents are, well, they are away from me, they’re with my sister so I’m good. I don’t want to be a burden… that’s all, because from the start, they are not a burden, and will never be. They didn’t know where I am… they don’t know that I’m feeling alone… or maybe they know, I hope they can feel it.

Should I go back to them? Why would I? I don’t want to get punched by my father… but maybe he’s weak now though. I’m old enough to endure that pain, it’s just a punch. But my fear is this… I’m afraid that they’ll tell things to me that are not true… I know they’ll tell me things like that… but I’ll never know if I won’t try.

Maybe someday I’ll try to talk to them… maybe in 5 years… or 5 months…

Park Chanyeol

05-10-05

7:41 AM

Byun Baekhyun

Hey, I chatted with Do Kyungsoo again. And we did have a good conversation again. He really has something to say. Could I tell you? Well, no one’s stopping me though.

Do Kyungsoo is already 26 years old yet he doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then I thought, why are these people like these? I mean, I, 25 years old; Jongdae, 26 years old; and he, 26 years old… don’t have a boyfriend, there are many girls and boys here in the world. And yes, he is handsome I could say, only for now! Now that he’s 26 years old, but not forever! He should be looking for someone now!

I told him that I am looking for someone now. But that someone, I want him to be my forever. Then he asked me how I would sense that he’d be the one who I’ll love forever. I also don’t know what the answer is.

I’m not an outgoing person Baekhyun. In fact, I’m only in our house when I was still a kid, grade schooler, high schooler, college student… I never gave myself a chance to be with other people because that’s how my parents took care of me. I gave myself some pressure to be a doctor or lawyer but hell Baekhyun, look at me… I became an architect because that’s what I wanted. I only followed it.

I ing didn’t want to be a doctor or lawyer that my mom and dad wanted me to be. I told Kyungsoo that, then he said he also chose to be someone whom his mom or dad is, he chose to be a doctor. And yes, he’s still in college now. But wait… that’s not what I wanted to tell you. okay… wait.

Park Chanyeol

9:32 AM

Byun Baekhyun

Where should I continue. Okay, to our conversation,

Kyungsoo wanted to be a doctor because if he’d be a college professor, he’d meet many people and he didn’t want that, he’s afraid of people. He said because with many people around him, he’d experience many emotions. And he doesn’t want that, basically because he was a doctor, or he WILL BE a doctor. If he’d be a doctor, he shouldn’t pity other people, because if emotion will prevail, there’s a possibility that you can’t do what you HAVE to do. If you’re emotional then, that can hinder the things that you have to do because you’ll think of others too, of what will be the affect of your decision to others, well that’s fine because in prescriptions, there are side effects that doctors need to consider, right? But he let it go, you’ll still think of their feelings that you don’t have to feel because you’re not the one who feels what they feel. You don’t have to feel what they feel. And there I saw that there was something wrong.

Because look, let’s take this as an example, people shouldn’t affect you because first, they’re patients and one day, they’ll leave you because they’re done with you. They have taken what they need from you. Then if you’ve done something they don’t want, they’ll get mad at you but you just do it for them. And there I saw what he was trying to point out. But he’s not saying that all of the people are like that, but ALL PATIENTS are like that. Because if they have taken the things they need from you, THEY’LL FORGET YOU.

And there I saw this guy’s name, Luhan whom he loved, but he doesn’t want to admit it yet because of the reasons above, is a patient. HIS PATIENT.

What should I tell him? What do you think Baekhyun? He wanted an advice, I know that. And I wanted an advice from you. I want to say hi! Please reply!

And he also said, Give up everything in advance, instead of letting yourself be hurt too much.

Am I hurting myself? I hope not Byun Baekhyun.

Park Chanyeol

05-11-05

5:00 AM

IT TOOK ME 5 DAYS TO GIVE UP ON E-MAILING YOU

Byun Baekhyun

Am I a stranger to you? I hope I am not.

Park Chanyeol

“It will never work.” Jongdae said. “If you know it’d never work, you shouldn’t even tried. Look at you, you just got tired.” He told Chanyeol.

Chanyeol then looked at Jongdae, feeling betrayed. “Are you tired?” Jongdae was asking Chanyeol. But Chanyeol didn’t answer him verbally, I’m tired, even though I don’t want to.

“It’s impossible.” Jongdae said. Chanyeol heard it again, the first time was before Chanyeol started e-mailing Baekhyun.

Chanyeol wanted to get angry. Or maybe, Chanyeol was really angry. He e-mailed Baekhyun almost a week; he’d been waiting and waiting for Baekhyun’s reply, and for that ing company’s e-mail. Chanyeol looked around, and no one was there for him. He didn’t see Jongdae. He got angrier, he’s angry at his family, he’s angry that this was his life.

Chanyeol looked on his screen and saw these 55 unread and unreplied messages, can Chanyeol be angrier than he was now? “It’s impossible.” Jongdae said. Chanyeol was angry, angry that in so many things that can be impossible, this was one of those.

7:00 AM

Byun Baekhyun

I’m never going to e-mail you again…

Park Chanyeol

Chanyeol was thinking.

9:00 AM

Byun Baekhyun

In 5 years, I guess.

Park Chanyeol

He didn’t want to give up but Jongdae’s advice was

11:00 AM

Byun Baekhyun

Wait, that’s too long. 5 months, I think.

Park Chanyeol

Chanyeol thought about it again.

1:00 PM

Byun Baekhyun

5 weeks, is that enough?

Park Chanyeol

Chanyeol wanted to look back 5 days before this

3:00 PM

Byun Baekhyun

okay, 5 days… it’s my choice, right?

Park Chanyeol

5:00 PM

Byun Baekhyun

5 hours?

Would I say goodbye?

Please reply.

In 5 seconds….

4

3

2

1

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