Insomnia (Sleepless In Love)

SESOO BONUS CHAPTER

... since Sesoo won the poll.

This is a short and boring chapter, but I really want to portray how much Sehun loves Kyungsoo in this AU so yeah.

Stay.

There’s only a few times that Sehun was given the novelty of sleeping beside his favorite hyung alone, just him and Kyungsoo with no other people to ruin their solitude. That’s why Sehun tries to savor every single second when those rare opportunities transpire. Not being able to sleep easily, he could have an easy pass on observing who he thinks is perfection. Having insomnia could sometimes come in handy. Nighttime could both be his weakness and strength.

It’s another stormy night. Roaring thunders and howling winds could be heard from the distance. Inside Sehun’s room though is a cocoon of warmth with thick blankets covering Kyungsoo and Sehun. Kyungsoo had long since started his trek on sandman’s land, currently on a deep slumber. The quiet snore from him is a somnolent hymn that chimes to Sehun’s ears. Sehun, in contrast, is still wide awake. He always has difficulty in sleeping as if his blood was blended with caffeine, but Kyungsoo is with him at the moment, so it doesn’t matter. He treats himself with the warmth emanating from Kyungsoo’s body. He is thankful for the storm, grateful even. For without it, he wouldn’t have the chance to lie beside his hyung.

“Here’s your book.” Kyungsoo said when he first arrived there, giving him his book that he had borrowed. That was only Kyungsoo’s original sole reason on going there, nothing more. Sehun, however, just got too greedy.

For several minutes, Sehun made Kyungsoo stay. He wants Kyungsoo to pamper him, to give his attention to only him. It’s a scarce event for them to be alone together, and Sehun wants to make it last. Kyungsoo thankfully complied with all his childish whims because he, after all, is his best friend and being with Sehun is not a bad idea. Maybe his hyung’s attentiveness and mother-like persona is one of the reasons why he fell for him hard.

“Stay,” and also maybe he was being too greedy saying that when Kyungsoo was about to went home to prepare his things for the first day of school tomorrow. It’s not a surprise though since when it comes to Kyungsoo, he always wants more. A few minutes would never be enough. Heck, even a century won’t be.

“Of course I’ll stay if that’s what you want.” Kyungsoo gave him a saccharine smile, and what else could Sehun do but smile back?

“Stay,” Sehun reiterated again when the sky bled the shade of indigo, and Sehun indulged himself with Kyungsoo’s smile when he agreed yet again. 

When a rain started and then escalated into a forbidding storm, Sehun mentally celebrated.

“Stay,” Sehun said for the last time, and Kyungsoo did just that.

And now there’s two boys sleeping together. The shorter one clad in the taller one’s pajama, further fuelling his possessiveness on him.

A lightning zips in the sky giving a tentative pearly glow on Kyungsoo’s features. Sehun drinks in all the beauty that is being presented to him. However, the light bids to an end almost as soon as it arrived, but the lingering afterglow of Kyungsoo’s presence did not fail to make Sehun’s heartbeat falter. Right now is very much real, just him and Kyungsoo with only pillows for company.

Tell me a story.

When Sehun and Kyungsoo were still younger, they both loved building blanket forts. Blankets were their walls, chairs were their pillars, and pillows were their furnishings. For hours, they just stayed there: playing games in consoles, reading mangas, eating junk foods and role-playing. They had always loved acting as superheroes, but Sehun’s personal favorite was when Kyungsoo acted as a prince and he acted as a royal knight. Sehun wouldn’t tell Kyungsoo though (since it would be a blow to his manly pride) that on his mind, Kyungsoo was more like a princess and he was his knight in shining armor. It’s a whimsical fairytale, a far-off thought that’s too girly for his taste, but it doesn’t matter because at that make-believe fantasy, Kyungsoo was his princess and it’s just them.

Kyungsoo however had a different mindset than him. He preferred a towel as a cape rather than a cardboard cut-out as a crown. “Acting as a prince is boring. Let’s be superheroes again. I want to beat bad guys.” Kyungsoo whined, ready to wear underwear over his pajamas. Sehun would much rather want to beat the dragon threatening their castle first, but he was supposed to be a knight, so Kyungsoo’s wish was his command. For the rest of that day, they became superheroes again until they were both sweaty and contented.

Sehun wasn’t interested with love and crushes back then. In his mind, all of those thoughts were encased in a locked jar with the words ‘icky’ labeled on it. Nonetheless, it doesn’t disregard a gnawing thought in him that perhaps a certain part of him was already drawn with Kyungsoo at that time.

“Tell me a story.” Kyungsoo asked him on another occasion. Kyungsoo’s eyes were droopy, but he still wouldn’t want to sleep yet. Sehun wasn’t much of a story-teller. In fact, he at it. Speaking had never been his forte. He was about to say ‘no’, but then he remembered something. He’s allergic to tulips, but that did not stop him from giving them to Kyungsoo with nose as red as the flower on his birthday. Kyungsoo’s favorite flower was tulips and that’s all that matters. That’s no different from storytelling, and as his self-appointed knight, Kyungsoo’s every wish should be his command. Kyungsoo wished a story so he told him a story. His story-telling may not be brilliant. Kyungsoo even slept before it ended, but it’s alright since his story had no ending in the first place. Instead of sleeping early as well, he left a kiss on Kyungsoo’s forehead instead.

Those blanket forts had been a witness of Sehun and Kyungsoo’s friendship blossoming, but nowadays, they never build them anymore. It was already a thing of the past, only a sweet whisper of nostalgia, but looking back at those moments never failed to leave a longing smile to form on Sehun’s face. Although the Kyungsoo back then is no different from the Kyungsoo in the present, Sehun still misses the old Kyungsoo just as much as he love the Kyungsoo now.

Until we sleep.

Sehun had a pet bunny when he was fourteen. It was a gift from his mom.  It’s a charming ball of fluffy white with long delicate ears and a short tail, truly a cute and outstanding pet. When Kyungsoo had visited his house, Sehun showed him his pet in an instant hoping to impress his crush, but it did not turn out too well. Sehun should have known that Kyungsoo had a Leporiphobia, an irrational fear of rabbits. A frightened shriek met his pet once Kyungsoo saw it. He hid behind Sehun, clutching him to a safe distance away from the formidable horror that is the bunny.  

“Sehun, make it go away!” Kyungsoo said with real fear painted on his face, his shaky feet and repulsed expression could attest to that. “It’s an evil mutant creature; don’t let its innocent look fool you.”

Kyungsoo might have had a bad experience with a rabbit on the past that had cause this aversion, but he chose not to ask since it could bring unwanted memories to resurface and quench more of Kyungsoo’s fear. Instead, he opted to put his pet on a cage then freed it on his sister’s room where Kyungsoo surely won’t go. Kyungsoo was absolutely horrified, still shaking when he returned.

“Thank you. Now, I demand you to take a bath since you had touch a rab- ummm, that unspeakable creature.” Kyungsoo commanded. Sehun doesn’t like the idea of taking a bath when he could’ve spent those moments with him.

“I don’t know. It’s cold and…” the rest of Sehun’s words died with what Kyungsoo said next.

“Let’s take a bath together.”

It’s an innocent request, no hidden intent or malice, just Kyungsoo wanting to take a bath together to relieve the old times. However, Sehun would like to believe that Kyungsoo was not really afraid of rabbits, that it’s just some sly excuse for him to take a bath together. He knows that it most probably was a false belief, but he chose to live in his ideals and there’s nothing wrong with thinking that there. They had taken some bath together in the past, but their last time was long ago when he still hadn’t realized that he’s in love with him.

Now, he’s fourteen with raging hormones and unquenched love being presented the golden opportunity, but Kyungsoo didn’t know that. Kyungsoo would forever be clueless on the effect that he has on him. He would forever be clueless that he’s the reason why he couldn’t sleep early in most nights. He would forever be clueless that, yes, he wanted to take a bath with him but he didn’t trust neither his head nor his body not to be mischievous.

It was not Sehun’s place to answer though because Kyungsoo had long since dragged him to his bathroom. He was lost in Kyungsoo’s smooth skin and the cold air hitting his body. He was lost in smiles and the scent of shampoo wafting in the air as sprinkles of water fell drenching them together. Together, what a wonderful word it is. Together, that’s what they were in that moment.

They were both clad in bubbles and the waters dripping in their bare skin. Before long, small delicate hands applied shampoo on his hair, the smell of menthol lingering. There were some bubbles on Kyungsoo’s left cheek so Sehun removed it, cupping the elder’s cheek.  They returned to being kids at that moment, frolicking under the shower.

When they were in their pajamas on Sehun’s bed that night ready to sleep, Kyungsoo had one final request. He wants Sehun to hug him, too afraid that the rabbit might return.

“Until when?” Sehun asked, prepared to protect.

“Until we sleep.” Kyungsoo whispered, ready to rest.

Sehun hugged Kyungsoo. He hugged him even after they fell asleep. He made a mental reminder to give his bunny an extra carrot the next day because without it, Kyungsoo might not let him hug him or take a bath with him, or so that’s what he thought.

And I’ll fall in love.

Another lightning zips in the sky.

Another pearly luminosity highlighting Kyungsoo’s beauty.

The rain has no plans to stop and finally sleep, but who is Sehun to speak? He has no thoughts of that either. Not when the cause of his insomnia is with him. Most nights he stays up with thought full of Kyungsoo: the moments they spent, the moments he wishes they could have done. He thinks about the questions: Had Kyungsoo ever fell in love? When will he be able to confess to him? What is he doing right now?

Right now, he is sleeping beside him. The slow heaving of Kyungsoo’s chest is contrasting the fast thump of his heart. When will they be in sync? They are together but when will they truly be together? Will they even be together in the first place?

Too many questions are bursting on Sehun’s mind. Hazy and vague answers are all that he has. He doesn’t want to dwell any longer on questions, he should deal with the realities of the present. He is no longer the kid he once was who lives in the ideals. Now there are only truths. Kyungsoo is worth for who he is and not who he could have been.

Kyungsoo is his best friend.

He is in love with him.

They might not be together in a sense, but they are still together for the night at least.

“Sehun? Are you still awake?” Kyungsoo’s voice chimes in the silence. A silent yawn follows that.

“Yes. Why?” Sehun replies. There’s rustling on the bed. It’s dark, but Sehun could feel it. Soon, a hand interlaced with his.

“You should sleep. It’s the first day of school tomorrow. We don’t want to be late.” Sehun could feel Kyungsoo smiling while saying those words.

“Kiss me first.” Sehun dares to speak. He expects Kyungsoo to laugh and dismiss it as a joke, maybe he’ll also add a playful punch, but then he could feel it. Soft lips lands on his cheek. He is thankful that the darkness concealed the inevitable blush that ensued.

A giggle echoes again in the dark.

“I was aiming for the nose.” Kyungsoo explains. Sehun was about to laugh with him, but then another kiss followed, and this time falling perfectly on his nose.  Their interlocking hands tightened. It’s the longest three seconds.

“Now sleep.” Kyungsoo instructs, motherly persona evident.

“Yes sir!” Sehun smiles. “What do you think would happen this school year?”

“Same thing that Jongin and us usually do ever year. I’m also already close with Yixing and Baekhyun so yeah, maybe we could add them to our group.”

“Jongin and I won’t like that idea.”

“Sheesh… they are nice people. Maybe this school year, you both will be friends with them as well. Also maybe this school year, I could fall in love.”

That took Sehun by surprise. “Wait, what did you just say?”

“And I’ll fall in love.”

“With who?”

“I don’t know.”

Sehun’s heart is tugging. Kyungsoo falling in love is not impossible. He’ll just make sure that it would be him. It has to be him or he doesn’t know what he’ll do. 

“Sleep now.” Kyungsoo says again. That was the last word spoken that night.

Sehun is silent, frozen in the bed for another hour before succumbing to sleep. The rain ended as well, few remaining droplets falling. Sehun is sleepless in love, dreaming about Kyungsoo. Maybe this school year, it would be an all out war for Kyungsoo’s heart. Maybe this school year, there will be more rivals.

That problem could wait later, right now he is sleeping. Right now he is with Kyungsoo. Right now they are together.

Stay.

Tell me a story.

Until we sleep.

And I’ll fall in love.

Right now only the present matters.

Sorry again if I just updated this now, I got busy writing oneshots. This chapter serves as a teaser for the next chapters because the next school year will indeed be an all out war (or is it?). Haha.  Don't worry guys, I won't stick with this writing style for the other chapters. I'm also already 2/3 done with the next update. Krisoo might have an with Kris obviously being the older one. :) :) :)

boredpanda98