Chapter Nine:

(Junmyeon)

Jaehee and I walked to her room. She was so happy sitting on my lap as I tried to move faster. She made some noises and pretended to be driving a car. It seems Jaehee thought a wheelchair was a form of transportation.

“You get to ride a car like this every day Myeonie-oppa! I wish I could ride this car everyday like you. We will have a race and the winner will win lots of ice cream!” Jaehee said bouncing on my lap.

I laughed at her then patted her head. We had arrived at the bottom of the staircase. I stopped and gave a deep sigh. It would be impossible for me to get up the stairs without help.

Maybe I should have asked one of the maids to help me before I left the garden. I looked around hoping one of the maids would be around but they weren’t. I gave another deep sigh.

“Oppa?” Jaehee asked when we had stopped.

“I’m sorry Jaehee. You’ll have to get off. I can’t carry you upstairs all by myself.” I told her.

“Then I’ll carry you.” Jaehee said to me.

She got off and stood by my side. She placed her tiny hands on top of one of the wheels and started to lift it.

“Jaehee, I’m too heavy for you to carry me by yourself.” I said to her.

After a few tries, Jaehee finally gave up. She sat on the bottom step and looked at me.

“Oppa, why are you always in this car? Why can’t you walk just like everyone?” Jaehee asked me.

“Well… I guess it’s because I’m sick. You see, I can’t move my legs and that makes it difficult for me to walk. So, I use the wheelchair so it will be easier for me.” I explained to her.

Jaehee nodded her head and then gave me a hug. That little gesture almost made me tear up. It’s not every day that Jaehee and I get to talk like this, most of the time Jaehee would either be with Heechul or with our parents. She would be distanced from me because I was sickly.

“I’m going to look for someone to help you get up the stairs. Then we can watch Dolly together.” Jaehee said to me.

She got up then ran towards the wing where the maid’s quarters were. I watched in silence as Jaehee walked away. I then stared up the staircase. I could not help but feel frustrated.

If only I could walk…If only I wasn’t stuck in this wheelchair…A lot of things would have been different. My family would treat me like how they treated my brothers and sister. They would respect me. They might even love me instead of pity me.

I could have gone to school. I could have met friends… maybe even fall in love with a pretty girl. I could have done and had been a lot of things.

But no. I’m a paralytic. I can’t walk on my own. I can’t do a lot of things.

This isn’t living. What I am living isn’t about life… Rather… a depressing hell.

I didn’t wait for Jaehee or the other maids. I wheeled myself closer to the foot of the stairs. There was a ramp at the side that was used to wheel me in. But with my weak body, I couldn’t be able to wheel myself up the incline.

I took a deep breath and grabbed the railing. I pulled myself up. I pulled and pulled but I only managed to move the wheelchair a couple of steps up. It wa