Chapter Sixteen:

(Jaejoong)

I watched Yixing pacing back and forth in front of me. The two of us were in my office. I was about done with a presentation when Yixing appeared in front of my door. His face was pale as if he had seen a ghost.

“Okay, can you tell me what’s wrong? You have been doing that for almost an hour now Yixing. I’m starting to get dizzy.” I told him sitting beside Baekhyun who was busy looking at his phone.

Yixing finally stopped pacing and looked at me. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, opened them then started to open his mouth.

“I… in the café… I think… No… I know… No… Maybe I don’t know… It must be true… But it can’t be… It’s impossible… But it can be possible.” Yixing started to say pacing back and forth again.

“What? I don’t understand what you are saying. Do you?” I said looking at Baekhyun.

“I don’t know either. He had been acting like that for some time now. I think he has finally lost it.” Baekhyun said shrugging his shoulders.

I am a patient man but Yixing was driving me crazy. I stood up, walked in front of him and placed both my hands on his shoulders.

“Yixing. Stop. What are you trying to…”

“I think I saw Master Heechul.” Yixing finally said looking at me.

My eyes went wide and I couldn’t hide the shock that I felt. Heechul? Yixing saw Heechul? He’s alive. Heechul is…

“What? You… You saw Heechul?” I asked not taking my hands off Yixing’s shoulders.

“I think so. He had longer hair and he dyed it blond but he looked like Master Heechul. But when I said his name, he didn’t recognize me.” Yixing answered.

“Are you sure it was him? Where did you see him?” I asked my voice rising a bit.

“Yes. I think. I saw him at a café near our school. He works as a waiter there. Master Jaejoong… It has to be him.” Yixing said nodding his head.

“How can you be so sure that…” I started to say but stopped when Baekhyun placed his phone in front of my face.

I saw a picture of a man with blonde hair tied in a messy ponytail. He was talking on the phone.

“I mistakenly took a picture of him when I was taking pictures of Lay. Hyung, he does look like your brother in the pictures. Maybe it is him.” Baekhyun explained.

I took the phone from him and sat back down. My hands were shaking. It was no mistaking it. He may have changed his hair and clothing but my gut was telling me Baekhyun and Yixing were right.

Heechul. We finally found him. I placed the phone down and rubbed my temples.

“What are we supposed to do Master Jaejoong?” Yixing asked his voice trembling.

I took a deep breath then gave the phone back to Baekhyun. I got up from my seat and took a deep breath.

“Yixing, I want you to keep this information a secret from Junmyeon for a while. We need to be certain before we let anyone in my family know of this. Tomorrow, the two of you will take me to that café. I need to see him for myself.” I said to them.

They nodded their heads and agreed.

We went home after that. As soon as I entered the Mansion, I went straight to where Heechul’s room was. It remained untouched since he disappeared. I made sure of that. My mother wanted the things inside to be thrown out but, I stopped her. I knew her pain of losing Jaehee was unbearable, but I also know the pain doubled for Heechul.

Jaehee was his only source of happiness. Even I knew that. I tried my best to reach out to him but he always pushed me away. It was because of our parents’ constant comparison to each other that drifted us apart. I wanted to be the perfect son. I wanted to make them proud. Up until Jaehee’s death, all I cared about was their approval.

I had to be perfect. I had to be careful not to make mistakes. Mother always told me not to become my brothers. I had to prove my worth. I had to show to them that I was worth something. I couldn’t be sickly like Junmyeon. I couldn’t be rebellious like Heechul.

I had to be a Kim. I had to be the son worthy of that name.

All of those things didn’t matter in the end. The name Kim remained just a name. I realized in the end that I should be living for myself. If I failed or succeeded in life, it would be up to me. I had to become Kim Jaejoong and not Kim Jaejoong, son of Kim Heejun.

I had to be me.

I entered the room and saw my brother’s things. His books were on his study table near the door. There was a corkboard in front of it full of pictures and drawings. I walked closer and saw that most of the drawings were Jaehee’s. Pictures of his friends were there but not one picture of his family was pinned.

Was that how much he hated being a Kim? Heechul, I should have made more effort. I should have reached out to you.

I saw a picture of him and a guy sitting on the grass. Jaehee was with them in the middle. I recognize him as Heechul’s tutor. I didn’t know they were close. I remember he was the one that helped Heechul’s grades improve. If Heechul hadn’t made him stop, he would have even helped Heechul top his class.

Heechul was smart. He never studied and yet he manages to pass his exams. Mother never noticed. For her it wasn’t enough. I never knew the reason why my mother hated Heechul so much. She would always put him down and underestimate his capabilities.

If he was given a chance Heechul would have exceeded their expectations. But they never did. Maybe that was why Heechul rebelled?

Thinking back, maybe if I had his courage to go against our parents things wouldn’t have turned out the way they h